As Long As You're There
by NayaFan
Summary: Quinntana exploration fic. How they first get together, how they got into a DD relationship and why they do it. Set in 2021 and told in flashbacks. Rated M for a reason. Contains Domestic discipline and Femslash.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise is my own invention.**

**For Squishy.**

Chapter 1

Quinn sighs as she enters her and Santana's apartment, slamming the door closed behind her and dropping her keys onto the hook. She notices straight away that her wife isn't home yet, the apartment is far too quiet. She walks into the kitchen, switches the coffee machine on and slumps into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, her head dropping into her hands. Quinn feels desperate for this day to be over. 'Being a lawyer looked so much more fun on tv' she bitterly thinks to herself as she tries to force the case she's working on to the back of her mind. Checking her watch, the blonde sighs in relief as she notices that Santana will be home soon, as long as no huge traumas were radioed in before she could escape the ER. Forcing herself back onto her aching feet, she grabs a mug from the cupboard and fills it to the brim with coffee, dragging herself into the living room and sinking into the cushions of their huge corner sofa. She grins when she hears the apartment door open and close.

"Babe?" she hears her wife call out.

"Livingroom" she yells in response, watching as her Latina enters the room a few seconds ago, looking just as stunning as ever despite having just worked at twelve hour shift in a busy emergency room."How was your day?" the blonde asks as she presses a soft kiss to Santana's full lips when the Latina sits next to her.

"It was okay, didn't have to treat anyone that was injured too seriously, a few broken bones and a case of measles that turned out to be red pen" Santana smirks, "How about you? Were you in court all day?"

"Yeah, my feet are killing me" Quinn pouts, smiling victoriously when her wife pats her knee, signalling for the blonde to put her feet up. "You are amazing" She states as the Latina gently pulls her pumps off and starts to massage her feet softlySantana studies her wife as she runs her stockinged feet, noting to herself that she looks exhausted, dark circles under her hazel eyes, her skin paler than usual. She knows that Quinn can't talk about the high profile case that she is second chairing but knowing her wife as well as she does, it's obvious that it's taking it's toll on her.

"Just relax" she murmurs, the blonde nodding and tipping her head back to lean against the armrest, still nursing her coffee. "A few more weeks and it'll be over, we'll go on vacation and lie on a beach somewhere sipping cocktails" the Latina promises, Quinn grinning her approval.

"That sounds amazing" Quinn sighs, passing her mug to Santana, who finishes the coffee and places the empty mug on the coffee table. "You wanna just order in tonight? Thai?"

"Yeah, I'll call the place down the block and go pick it up. Why don't you have a nap, I'll wake you when I get back" Santana suggests.

0-00-0

Santana rolls her eyes as she returns with the bag of take-out to find Quinn sitting at the kitchen table with her laptop, work clearly winning over the nap idea. She dumps the bag on the counter and pulls out two plates, noticing that her wife still hasn't looked up from her laptop. Shaking her head she had loads up both plates with Quinn's favourite and walks to the table,The Latina places her wife's plate next to her before sitting down opposite her with her own food.

"Quinn, eat your food" Santana coaxes, irritation building inside her as the blonde holds up her hand to silence the brunette. "You can stop working for ten minutes" she adds in a firmer tone.

"Give me a minute honey, I just need to finish this email" Quinn responds. Santana sighs as she eats her food, dropping her fork when her wife is still typing almost ten minutes later.

"Quinn, eat your damn food" she snaps, "Have you eaten at all today?" The blonde's silence answers the latina's question. "Eat something now then, it's not healthy to starve yourself" she adds and Quinn finally looks over, hazel eyes meeting stern brown ones. Closing her laptop and pushing it away to satisfy her wife, the blonde picks up her fork and starts eating her dinner.

"I need to go into work early tomorrow so can you remind me to call Tina to let her know I can't do breakfast?" Santana rolls her eyes at the blonde's request.

"Sure, I'll text you in the morning, you're not working late are you? You've been working yourself to exhaustion baby" Santana keeps her tone gentle, not wanting to upset the blonde.

"I'll work as late as my boss needs me to" Quinn replies snippily. "I know my limits Santana" The Latina sighs, having had this conversation before.

"I'm just trying to look out for you" she states simply, eyeing the now on edge woman across the table from her.

"I'm quite capable of looking after myself" Quinn bites out, pushing her barely touched plate of food away.

"Quinn... I see people all the time at the hospital who don't look after themselves properly and if I'm being honest, it feels the same way it did ten years ago" Santana tells her quietly, "And I won't let that happen again, our relationship is the way it is for a reason baby... Just remember that. Quinn watches as her wife places her plate in the sink, walking out without another word. She knows her wife is right, her pride stopping her from admitting out loud but accepting that she needs to do thinks about that time ten years ago, a time when she thought she had truly found herself but in reality it was a time when she was completely lost.

_Everyone stares as Quinn strides down the halls of McKinley in her pink haired, tattooed, pierced, Joan Jett attired glory. Every mouth dropping in shock as one by one her old friends realise that it's her. She overhears Brittany telling Mercedes that the 'new girl' is hot, not hearing the response as she pushes through the back entrance and continues walking to the bleachers. She stops short as she reaches the area underneath them, the skanks that usually hung out there are nowhere in sight, just a lone Latina Cheerio._

_"What are you doing here?" she demands._

_"It's nice to see you too Quinn" Santana drawls sarcastically, looking disgusted at her surroundings. "I still have that soap in my locker if you want it" she adds, causing Quinn to scoff._

_"What do you want Santana? You shouldn't hang out under here, you might get your Pom poms dirty" she sneers, not missing the flicker of hurt in the cheerleaders eyes._

_"Everyone else may believe that this is the real you that's just been hidden away but I know better than that. I know you" Santana tells her, her usual harsh demeanour nowhere to be found. "You're hiding, running away from things" she adds, studying Quinn's soft features.  
><em>  
><em>"That's a little rich coming from you, gotten yourself a big gay beard lately?" the pink haired beauty asks in a hard tone. "Still pining over Brittany?"<em>

_"She got back with Artie" is all Santana says, completely shocking Quinn. Any other time, the Latina would be going 'All Lima Heights" on the person mocking her but Quinn notes that she just looks sad, not even trying to deny being a lesbian._

_"I'm sorry" she tells her sincerely and Santana nods, blinking away the tears that are threatening to fall._

_" I thought we were friends again" the tanned girl whispers, "After what went down at Nationals I mean" she clarifies and Quinn feels a pang of guilt attack her chest as she remembers Santana and Brittany being there for her after Finn left her for Rachel. She watches as the latina pulls herself together, the walls springing back into place as her jaw hardens and her queen bitch look takes over her face, Quinn seeing through it but doubting that the other students would, even Brittany. "Call me when you want to stop lying to yourself" Santana tells her as she brushes past her, leaving Quinn standing underneath the bleachers on her own._

Quinn stands up and dumps her plate in the sink, moving out of the kitchen and into the master bedroom that she shares with Santana, stopping in the doorway and watching as her wife pulls her scrub top off and throwing it into the hamper, turning to face Quinn when she realises she's there. She stands there in her scrub pants and bra, waiting for the blonde to say something, unable to keep the smirk from her face as she notices her wife check her out. She clears her throat, Quinn's eyes snapping up to meet hers, a sheepish grin on her face.

"Sorry about before, you were completely right. I've been working too hard, I hadn't even noticed that I'd been skipping meals" Quinn murmurs, Santana stepping forward to engulf her in a hug.

"It's fine, just promise me you'll try to ease up on your work hours, even just a little bit and try to look after yourself better and if you're having trouble then come to me" Santana whispers into her ear, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek as she pulls back. "If you slip up then you know I'll be here, it's my job to hand out the consequences. I love you" she finishes passionately.

"I love you too"

**This chapter is basically just setting the scene, let me know what you think. I'm planning to be solely focusing on this until Tuesday night. It's going to be a long one!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own Glee or any of the Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox.**

**Thank you for all the interest in this story so far! I appreciate it more than you know!**

**Flashbacks are in Italics.**

Chapter 2

Santana drinks her coffee as she studies the board behind the ER desk, noting that it had been a busy night, a set collapsing in a off broadway production resulting in numerous people being herded to the hospital. She's relieved that there's only one patient that still needs to be seen, grabbing the chart she dumps her coffee in the trash can and walks over to the patient's bed.

"Hi, I'm doctor Fabrey-Lopez" she smiles as she reaches the young boy who gives her a weak smile. "So...Andrew" she starts, checking the chart, "It says here that your arm got hurt when the stage collapsed, so I'm gonna take a little look at it" she smiles kindly. Andrew nods as he lifts his arm for Santana to look at, wincing slightly. The Latina gently takes a hold of his arm, deciding she needs to distract him when she notices the tears in his eyes. "Is this the first play you've been in?"

"Yes. I love musicals" he whispers and Santana smiles.

"So you'll have heard of Rachel Berry then?" she asks him and he nods. "I went to high school with her, we were in Glee club together, I still see her sometimes"

"Really? What is she like?" Andrew eagerly asks. Santana chooses her words carefully, she considers the girl her friend even if she does piss her off with her diva strops at times.

"She's very passionate, and she's very caring" The Latina responds carefully as she places his arm back across his stomach. "You're gonna need an x-ray I'm afraid buddy, I'm pretty sure your wrist is broken" she informs him."I'll get a nurse to take you up once your parents get here, ok?"

"Ok" he murmurs, disappointed.

"And I'll be back to check on you soon" Santana adds and the boy smiles.

0-00-0

The front door slamming closed pulls Santana from her sleep. She groggily pulls herself into a sitting position as Quinn enters the living room with an apologetic look gracing her features. The blonde slumps down onto the couch next to her wife, giving her a peck on the lips. Santana checks her watch and sighs, turning her head to look at Quinn.

"It's almost one in the morning Quinn, you've been at the office for like nineteen hours" she reprimands and the blonde nods.

"I know, I'm sorry I just got caught up doing some research for the case" Quinn replies gently.

"Did you at least eat something?" the Latina asks, sighing when Quinn grimaces."Quinn..."

"I wasn't hungry Santana, I'll have something just now" the blonde interrupts, desperate to appease her wife. Pressing another kiss to Santana's lips, Quinn stands up and walks into the kitchen, leaving Santana alone on the sofa with her thoughts. The brunette knows that Quinn is forgetful but she can't comprehend how someone can forget to eat or sleep like her wife has been doing, not when a person's body has ways of reminding them to do so. She decides to give Quinn a few days to sort things out, thinking that she may just be having a rough couple of days or at least hoping she is, knowing how bad things had gotten before.

_Santana pulls her letterman jacket tighter around her body as she reaches Quinn's new favourite hang-out. She smirks when she notices the sofas under the bleachers, having heard all about the demands Quinn had given coach Sylvester. The Latina glares at the other skanks who are gathered around Quinn who is laying on one of the sofas._

_"Leave" Santana barks at the other girls, pleased when they shuffle passed her, their eyes cast downward. "You ok Q?" she asks, moving closer to the ex cheerio._

_"What do you care?" Quinn snaps, her glare softening as she notices genuine concern on the latina's face. "I'm fine" she adds._

_"Really? Because you look like crap" Santana states, taking in Quinn's tired eyes and pale face._

_"Gee thanks Santana!" she quips in response._

_"I'm serious Quinn" the tanned girl bites out, "Are you sleeping at all? Or eating, you look really thin" she adds with a worried tone. The pink haired girl studies the cheerleaders face before sighing in defeat._

_"My dad's back" she murmurs, watching as Santana's eyebrows jump up in surprise. "He caught me making out with Sheila" Quinn adds, flushing and suddenly finding her fingernails extremely interesting. "I've been sleeping here for the last few days"_

_"He kicked out? Again?" Santana asks angrily, feeling her anger grow when Quinn nods. "Alright, grab your things. You're not sleeping here, you look like you're gonna pass out any minute so you're coming to my place"_

_"You haven't even said anything about Sheila" Quinn notes, staying seated._

_"What would I say? As you said, I'm 'pining over Brittany' so apart from your terrible taste in women I can't judge" Santana tells her, holding out her hand to help Quinn up, frowning at how light the other girl feels._

_"What about your parents?" The Latina scoffs at her friend's question as she takes her bags from her frail arms._

_"They're never at home, come on quit stalling. You don't have a choice here Quinn" Santana tells her firmly. "You're coming home with me, you're gonna eat something and then you're gonna rest, even If I have to force you. I'm not watching you fade away, I've abandoned you once and I won't do it again!" Quinn finds herself tearing up as she stares back at her friend's stern look, she had thought that their friendship was over._

_"Ok, I'll come with you" she murmurs, allowing Santana to put an arm around her and guide her towards the parking lot, feeling more protected than she had ever felt. She's surprised at the latina's gentle demeanour, not having seen this side of her since before high school, back when they were best friends and not always trying to outdo each other. Santana doesn't speak as she leads the thin girl to her car, scared that she may upset her and only wanting her to feel safe, promising herself that she will always look out for her from here on out._

Santna sighs as she remembers her promise, the promise that even now, ten years later she still stuck to. She listens to her wife re-heating some left-overs, glad that she is at least eating one meal, even if it is at a ridiculous hour. The latina has to be up for work in four and a half hours but she can't bring herself to go to bed yet, not until she had witnessed Quinn eating and then she can talk her into going to bed with her to at least get a few hours sleep before the blonde did it all again tomorrow. She hears Quinn pulling one of the chairs out from under the kitchen table and gets up, walking into the kitchen and sitting opposite the love of her life.

"You don't have to watch me Santana" Quinn snaps, only further reminding the latina that the blonde definitely isn't her usual self and is heading down the same terrifying road that she had went down all those years ago. 'Give her a few more days' Santana tells herself again, praying that things would indeed go back to normal very soon.

"I'm not, I'm just keeping you company" Santana lies, "I missed you tonight, it was just me and bad late night Tv" she jokes weakly, glad that Quinn doesn't notice. "It's not as fun getting my snuggle on with the cushions as it is with you" The latina hates herself for putting on an act but knows that jumping to conclusions too early and accusing Quinn would just allow her some time to build the walls back up.

**Alright guys, let me know what you think, chapter 3 should be up later on today :)**_  
><em> 


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, I promise to get back to all of you as soon as I can :)**

**Flashbacks are in Italics.**

Chapter 3

Quinn scowls as she listens to one of the senior partners go over the case, she knows the details like the palm of her hand, annoyed that she has to sit here for the better part of an hour as things are repeated to her and a few other junior associates. The blonde wishes she could be doing something useful or anything other than this. She feels her eyelids getting heavy and her boss' voice floating further and further into the distance until her co-worker next to her nudges her. Quinn throws a grateful smile in the woman's direction as she forces her brain to focus on anything but falling asleep. She struggles to keep her eyes trained on her boss as her vision starts to blur, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on.

"Quinn, are you alright?"

"Yes sir, I'm perfectly fine" she smiles, her boss watching her for a second before nodding, satisfied with her answer and continuing to go over the case. Quinn clenches her pen tightly, her knuckles turning white as the throbbing in her head intensifies. She's about to say something, ask to be excused when her world goes black, the pen falling from her limp hand.

0-00-0

Santana runs to the ambulance bay as soon as the paramedics radio in that they have Quinn. She ignores her attending who is begging her to go back inside and let them treat Quinn. The rational part at the back of her mind is telling her that of course, she can't treat her wife but all the Latina can focus on is seeing the blonde and holding her hand. She can feel strong hands gently but firmly guide her back into the hospital and into a trauma room.

"Lopez, listen to me" her attending says firmly, " I will allow you to be in here but you have to promise me that you'll stay out of the way. You are not a doctor right now, you are a wife" Santana nods, leaning against the wall and sighing.

"This is my fault" she murmurs, her attending giving her a concerned look, urging her to continue. "I noticed that she hasn't been taking care of herself properly the last little while but I didn't do anything" Santana mutters in disgust, "I just kept telling myself to give her a few more days to fix herself"

"This isn't your fault Santana, you say you didn't do anything but knowing you, you probably made her eat at home, right?" The Latina lets out a small chuckle despite the circumstances and nods. "Well then, you didn't do nothing, now stay here... Hands in your pockets and back against the wall, you hear me?" he demands, staring straight into her eyes, smiling lightly when she nods and he leaves the trauma room to make his way back to the ambulance bay. Despite her attendings assurances, Santana still feels like it's her fault, like she should have been harder on Quinn, forced her to eat more. The whole situation feels like deja vu but of course she knows that it feels similar because it had happened before.

_Santana forces herself to be patient as she sits in the seat next to Quinn in her parent's diningroom, knowing that the girl is a flight risk. She watches as the pink haired girl eyes the plate of food in front of her warily, her hands firmly clasped in her lap. "Quinn...come on, you have to eat" she coaxes gently and beautiful hazel eyes snap up to meet her gaze._

_"I appreciate what you're doing San but I don't need you to parent me, I've went this long without my parents giving a damn about me, I'm sure I can manage from now on" Quinn's statement hits the latina harder than she expects it to and she feels anger building in her chest. Anger at Judy and Russell Fabray, anger at herself for not realising sooner that her friend needed her and anger at her own parents. They may not be domineering and verbally abusive like Quinn's but they have one thing in common with the Fabrays, their absence in their child's life._

_"Maybe that's the problem" She murmurs, holding her friend's gaze, "Neither of us know what it's like to really be looked after, we've both been screwed over in the parent department but we still have each other" _

_"Now" Quinn scoffs, "Now we have each other. "We've barely been passing as distance friends since we started high school" Quinn's words cause a pang of guilt within Santana._

_"We both wanted the same things, we turned into competitors rather than friends but none of that other crap matters you want me to or not, you're staying her and I'm going to look out for you" The latina takes a pale hand into her tanned one, grasping it firmly, the passion in her words hitting Quinn like a truck, she opens her mouth to speak, a strangled sob escaping instead of words and she finds herself wrapped in Santana's warm embrace. The latina murmurs soothingly to the frail girl in her arms, holding her as violent sobs wrack through her body so harshly that Santana fears the girl's body wouldn't be able to hold out._

_"I can't do this anymore" Quinn chokes out as she holds onto her friend for dear life, feeling warm arms tighten their hold at her words. "I can't stop it, I don't know how"_

_"You don't need to honey, I'll help you. I promise you that you're not going to do this alone, I won't ever leave you" Santana promises, the sincerity in her words surprising even her. "Why don't you lie down for a bit and you can try eating again in a little while?" She feels Quinn nod against her and she thanks her rigorous training for the cheerios that allows her to pull them both into a standing position._

_"Thank you" Quinn whispers and Santana watches in horror as hazel eyes roll backwards and she finds herself holding Quinn's limp body, stopping her from hitting the floor._

The latina is dragged from her thoughts as the doors to the trauma room are flung open and the gurney that Quinn is laying on is wheeled in. Santana watches as nurses and and doctors flock around her wife, everyone talking over one another, her attending sending her a warning look and Santana realises that she has moved forward without even meaning to. She pushes herself against the wall, thrusting her hands into her scrub pockets and forcing herself not to rush forward, knowing that her attending is breaking the rules by allowing her in here. The latina makes eye contact with one of the paramedics as she is leaving, the red haired woman turning away from the door and walking over to the brunette.

"Santana I'm guessing?" she asks quietly and the latina nods, her eyes moving back to her wife. "She blacked out at work, my best guess is that she's dehydrated and severely fatigued, she woke up in the ambulance and tried to fight us, we had to sedate her Im afraid" Santana barely listens as the paramedic informs her of her wife's vitals, only focusing on the blonde that's lying on the gurney.

"Thank you" she states quietly to the paramedic who nods, giving her a reassuring, sympathetic smile as she leaves. Her brown eyes don't leave the scene unfolding in front of her, watching intensely as a nurse fumbles with finding a vein in Quinn's arm, Santana's attending yelling at the short woman and sending her out of the room and placing the I.V himself, something Santana had never seen him do in the time she had known him.

"Quinn, Quinn I'm Doctor Montgomery" he states as he notices her eyes fluttering open, "Santana's just over there so there's no need to panic" Quinn's terrified eyes find Santana's tired brown ones, maintaining eye contact with her as her vitals are re-checked.

"I'm sorry" Quinn whispers to Santana who doesn't say or do anything, just continuing to look at her wife.

""Alright Quinn, we need to do some tests ok? We're going to move you to a bed, Santana's gonna come with you. Try and get some rest for now and I'll be back to see you soon" Montgomery tells her with a smile and moving to stand in front of Santana. "Are you ok?" The latina gives a stiff nod and he sighs, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. "Well take as much time as you need, we can manage without you, just concentrate on your wife."

"Thank you" she tells him sincerely.

"We'll put her in curtain three until we know exactly what's going on, go tell the charge nurse to call in another second year resident and call whoever you need to call while we move her and then you can sit with her once she's settled" Santana feels her guilt building up inside her as she heads into the break room, silent tears falling down her face as she slumps into a chair, head in her hands as she sobs.

**Let me know what you think guys :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise is my own invention.**

**Thank you for all the amazing reviews, I really appreciate them :) As usual, Flashbacks are in Italics.**

**For K,Squishy and J :) **

Chapter 4

_The first thing Quinn notices when she comes round is the smell, she knows that she is no longer in Santana's diningroom. The perfumed smell mixed with vanilla is gone and the strong smell of cleaning products assaults her nose. Cracking her eyes open, she fights the urge to close them again as the bright lights sting her eyes, choosing to allow herself to adjust. She turns her head and notices Santana fast asleep in the chair next to her bed, a frown etched across her features even in sleep. She's surprised to find herself calming in the latina's presence, thanking whatever diety is listening that Santana has stayed with her, even more grateful that she hadn't been on her own when she blacked out.A nurse enters the room quietly, smiling at Quinn as she checks her I.V and her vitals, making notes on her chart._

_"She hasn't moved from your side since the ambulance brought you in, you gave her quite a scare" The nurse tells her quietly._

_"How long have I been here?" Quinn croaks out, her voice still thick with sleep._

_" Around Six don't remember waking up?" The pink haired girl shakes her head in the negative, looking at the nurse curiously. "You woke up when you first got here but we gave you some medicine to help you sleep, you haven't had enough of that lately. Your body was almost ready to give up. You are very lucky to have such a good friend to look out for you" she adds, giving Quinn another smile as she bustles out of the room._

_"I could have told you that" Quinn turns to face Santana who is smiling weakly. "How are you feeling?" The latina asks, her tired eyes studying her friend, her brow furrowed._

_"Like crap" she replies with a dry chuckle, sobering as she notices Santana's look harden. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you"_

_"I'm not worried about myself Quinn, I'm not the one lying in a hospital bed, this won't happen again, I won't allow it." The latina tells her sternly, the fire in her eyes appearing as she looks straight into Quinn's eyes, her irritation buiding when the pink haired girl rolls her eyes._

_"Ok I get it, you want to look after me, we need to parent each other or whatever but you can tone down the parental lectures" Quinn tells her sarcastically and Santana sighs, running her hand through her raven locks._

_"Well someone needs to look after you, you're a mess Quinn...this isn't you. If you refuse to look after yourself then someone clearly needs to do it for you!" the latina snaps._

_"And that person is you?" Quinn guesses, Santana nodding in response. "What are you gonna do Santana, ground me? Send me to bed early like a five year old? Spank me?" she spits out, sarcasm still evident in her voice._

_"If I had to" The tanned girl states simply shocking Quinn into silence as she falters under Santana's intense glare. She eyes the latina curiously, confused at the direction the conversation has gone in, wondering what her friend means, she's just trying to scare her, right?_

0-00-0

Santana watches from her place on the chair next to Quinn's bed as Tina chats to Quinn, worry written all over the young asian's face. She can hear her wife promising that she is fine, just a little run down and she only just holds back a scoff, turning when she feels a warm hand on her shoulder. The latina smiles softly at Mike who winks at her.

"How are you holding up?" he asks softly and she shrugs. "Puck's on stand-by for a flight over here, he's pretty worried...about both of you" Mike adds and Santana regrets phoning her best friend in tears, she should have realised that Puck would make his way to New York after hearing his sobs.

"He doesn't need to do that" Santana whispers, feeling guilty about that too and Mike chuckles lightly, placing his arm around the brunette's shoulder.

"Would he listen if I told him that?" he asks, both of them knowing that their friend would still get on a plane. "Come on, let's go get a coffee" he suggests and Santana nods.

"We'll go into the doctor's lounge, there's good coffee in there. The patient's stuff tastes like ass" the latina says. They walk to the lounge in silence, no words are needed as she's comforted merely by Mike's presence.

"You know this isn't your fault" the asian states as the sit at the table in the lounge that's empty apart from them, both nursing a cup of coffee. Santana doesn't answer, feeling as though it definitely is her fault. "Quinn knows that this is her fault, she's not blaming you so stop blaming yourself" he adds and Santana sighs. Grabbing her hand and squeezing reassuringly, Mike waits until his friends eyes meet his before continuing, "You are not to blame" he repeats.

0-00-0

Quinn sighs as Doctor Montgomery pulls Santana out of ear-shot after explaining to her why she had blacked out. It was as expected, the lack of proper nourishment and rest had built up until her body had shut down. He also explained that she is slightly dehydrated and after a lengthy lecture about looking after herself better, Santana's attending had ordered at least a few days of bed-rest and had signed her off from work for a weak. The look on her wife's face telling her not to argue. She watches as Santana speaks to her boss, nodding in agreement at his reply. The blonde strains to hear the conversation, disappointed that they are too far away for her to hear anything substantial. She knows that she has a hell of a lot to answer for with her wife, that fact that the Latina is blaming herself only making Quinn feel worse about her recent behaviour. The blonde lets out a small sigh as Santana makes her way over to her, pulling the curtain all the way around to give them some privacy.

"I managed to get a few days off" Santana tells her, reaching underneath the bed to grab Quinn's clothes and signalling for her wife to sit up, Quinn complies, moving to sit on the edge of the bed with her legs dangling. Santana is silent as she unties the back of her wife's hospital gown, allowing it to slide down and sit bunched up at Quinn's waist. The Latina notices just how weak her wife is when she watches her pick up her bra with trembling hands, taking it from her and sliding the straps up the blonde's arms and leaning forward to hook the back, her chin brushing a pale shoulder. Quinn places a soft kiss to Santana's cheek in silent thanks before the Latina gently helps her into the dress shirt she had been wearing for work. The brunette doesn't wait for Quinn to button it up herself, immediately doing it for her, keeping her gaze firmly from Quinn' finally looks at her wife, cupping her soft cheek in her hand as she leans forward, pressing a warm kiss to Quinn's forehead, conveying her love with a simple look.

"Can you stand?" she asks, Quinn nodding in response and sliding off the bed, The Latina holding her arm and pulling the gown from her body and placing it on the bed. Quinn holds onto the bed as she steps into her underwear which Santana is holding out for her, the intimate nature of her wife dressing her almost overwhelms, holding in tears. Once she is dressed, Santana guides her backwards to sit on the bed again while she pulls the curtain back and signalling for a nurse. Once the latina signs the forms that the nurse gives her, she grabs and wheelchair, rolling it over to her wife and helping her into into it. As they reach the front entrance, Quinn notices Puck leaning against the car she and Santana shared, the man instantly moving forward to hug her before helping her into the passenger seat while her wife takes the wheelchair back into the hospital.

**Drop me a review to let me know what you think, I'm going to make sure and get back to all of you before the next update.**


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise is my own invention.

Thank you for all the interest in this story and the reviews :) As usual, Flashbacks are in Italics.

For K,Squishy and J :)

Chapter 5

Santana is grateful for Puck's presence as she watches him walk ahead with Quinn, his strong arm wrapped around her wife's waist as he supports most of her weight. The elevator ride up to their apartment is silent, Santana casting worried glances in Quinn's direction as she wills the elavator to move faster, in a rush to get the blonde into bed. Stepping out into the lobby she hooks an arm around Quinn, handing her keys to Puck and leading her into the house, bypassing the livingroom and heading straight to the master bedroom. Santana makes quick work of changing Quinn into some pajamas and pulling back the duvet as the blonde slides into bed. Scared hazel eyes give her a pleading look, pleading for the Latina to stay with her, Santana complying and laying in front of her, nose to nose as she wraps her arms around her wife.

"Are you mad?" Quinn asks in a small voice, sounding every bit like the scared teenager.

"Honestly? I'm furious...with myself and with you" Santana replies honestly. "You really scared me baby, seeing you on that gurney again, I felt like I was seventeen again" Quinn lifts her head from her wife's shoulder to look into her dark chocolate eyes. Her guilt burning into her heart as she reads the myriad of emotions in them, the fear, the anger and most noticeably, the overwhelming love.

"I'm so sorry"Quinn murmurs as she presses a chaste kiss to the latina's full lips. She snuggles back into her warm embrace, breathing in that scent that is strictly Santana. "Why are you mad at yourself?" She asks, feeling her wife's chest heave at the force of the sigh she lets out.

"I failed" Quinn winces at the vulnerability in Santana's voice. "I promised to look after you, to keep you on the straight and narrow, to catch you and hand out consequences before you fall but you've fallen and I wasn't there. I could see you slipping, I prayed so fucking hard that you would pull it together. I should have just confronted you, nipped it in the bud but I didn't, I failed you"

"You didn't fail me" Quinn tells Santana firmly, looking up to see the tears and guilt in her wife's eyes. "I swear you didn't, I was the one who failed. Please Santana, this isn't your fault, it was mine" the passion in the blonde's voice catching the Latina off guard as she looks down into the tired, beautiful face of the only person she would die for. "I'm so sorry"

"It just so much like back in high school" Santana whispers As she subconsciously tightens her grip around Quinn.

_Quinn sighs as she wakes up, rolling onto her back and looking around the takes her a second to remember that she's in Santana's guest bedroom and the memories of the day before come rushing back to her. She thinks about everything that has transpired over the last few days, seeing the side of Santana that she hadn't seen since they were in middle school together. The softer side, the side that doesn't care about keeping up her badass reputation, the one that focused only on looking out for her. Quinn hadn't realised how much she missed having the latina as her friend, remembering when the brunette would always have her back just because they were friends, not because she was her cheerleading captain and it was expected for her to._

_"Quinn?" she hears Santana's low voice coming from outside the room, followed by a small knock._

_"Yeah?" the pink haired girl calls out, shocked at how lifeless and dull her voice sounds. She pulls herself to sit up and lean against the headboard as Santana slips into the room, wearing a pair of duck pajamas that had obviously been a gift from Brittany. Quinn muses about how much younger the latina looks in her pajamas with her mussed hair, Santana clearly just out of bed._

_"Hey" Santana murmurs as she sits on the edge of Quinn's bed, inches away from the other girl. "You look better already" she smiles, "You sleep ok?" The latina smiles again as her friend nods and Quinn can't stop her mouth from curling into a grin in return, thinking how adorable Santana looks in her present state. She internally chides herself, wondering when the hell she started thinking of the latina as adorable, forcing it out of her head._

_"I feel a little better" Quinn states quietly, watching as Santana studies her, surprised when a tanned hand reaches out and brushes a strand of pink hair from her face. The girl notices that the simple touch from Santana's soft hand causes the hair on her ams to rise, sending a small charge of electricity through her body._

_"Good, I spoke to my parents last night, they said you're welcome to stay here, they think it'll be better for me to have someone in the house with me" The latina tells her with an eye roll, "I think you should know that a lot of people know that you were kicked out and why" she adds seriously. "You know what the women in this town are like, they gossip about everything, my mom overheard them talking" Quinn lets out a soft sigh as she processes what her friend is telling her, soon most of Lima would know that she's gay. "I'm really sorry Quinn" Santana adds genuinly, grasping onto the girl's pale hand, not noticing as Quinn's body betrays her under the latina's touch, goose bumps jumping up all over her body._

_"I'm going to get so much hell when I go back to school" Quinn whispers, already imagining the slushies and taunts._

_"No you won't, I won't allow it" the latina grinds, angry just at the thought of someone messing up the girl's recovery. "I promise you I will protect you, I meant everything I said Quinn, I won't abandon you again" Santana finishes, staring at Quinn with so much passion that the pale girl can feel herself flushing, a tingling feeling settling in her stomach as she stares back at the latina._

_"At the hospital...you said some things" Quinn mumbles and Santana nods, eyeing her curiously as she nods for her to continue. "You said you would..." the girl struggles to find the correct words, "You know..when you said that you would take care of me and you would...do things to uh...encourage me to look after my health better"_

_"What about it?" the latina asks, maintaining eye contact with the girl in front of her._

_"Would you actually do it?"_

_"In a heartbeat" Santana responds instantly and Quinn blushes, looking down at her hands, one of which is still encased in the latina's warm grasp. "But ultimately, I'd need your consent, I'd never force it on you but in my opinion, you need to have someone to look out for you, to help you"_

_"And give me consequences to my actions?" the pink haired girl whispers, shooting Santana a shy glance and catching her nod. "But I'm not a child"_

_"I know you're not a child, do you think only children need someone to look after them? I'm not talking about putting you in diapers or anything Quinn, I'm not into that" she smirks, lightening the mood, pleased when Quinn fails to stifle her smile. "You've never had to answer to your parents about your actions, they only cared about you coming across as the perfect christian daughter, they didn't care about the rest of the things. As soon as they got pregnant, they disowned you because they were scared of how it would make them look, you kissed a girl and they disowned you again for the same reasons. They don't deserve to be parents, much less your parents Quinn._

_"If you think I need it...then I give you permission to do...it" she replies, unable to bring herself to say the word, the full force of Santana's statement turning her into an emotional wreck._

_"Think about it, your head is all over the place right now, we'll talk about it tomorrow, ok?" the latina's voice is gentle as she smiles softly at Quinn before leaning forward and kissing her on the forehead. "I'll make breakfast, you still a bacon addict?" Quinn lets out a chuckle, nodding as Santana grins at her, standing up and walking to the door._

_"San?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Thank you" Quinn murmurs sincerely, a nod and a wink is Santana's only response as she leaves Quinn's new bedroom, heading down to the kitchen._

**Alright guys, drop me a review to let me know what you think, hoping to update again later tonight :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise is my own invention.**

**I have to admit, reading all of your reviews has made my day, you're all brilliant. I welcome all reviews, even criticism. Although I think it's only fair for you to log in when writing a negative review to allow the author a chance to discuss it with you and hear your views on the story in full.**

**Flashbacks are a main part of this story so there will be a lot, they will all be in italics.**

**This chapter is for K since I was a grumpy shit this morning!**

Chapter 6

Santana shuffles groggily into the living room to find Puck eating some cereal on the sofa, his eyes glued to the television show he is watching, slumping down next to him and stealing the rest of his coffee which is sitting on the floor next to his feet. Puck just rolls his eyes, knowing that arguing with a grumpy looking latina is never a good idea, no matter how much they love you. He places his empty bowl onto the coffee table and leans back against the sofa, his arm falling into place around Santana and her head resting on his shoulder.

"How is she this morning?" Puck asks quietly, hearing his friend sigh.

"She's still sleeping, I didn't want to wake her." Santana replies, "I'm so mad at her, I know that makes me a bad person but I'm just so fucking mad at her Puck" She feels her best friend's arm tighten around her as he presses a kiss onto her hair.

"You have every right to be mad, it doesn't make you a bad person. Hell, anyone who has seen you in the past ten years would be an idiot to say that you're not an amazing person, would I fly out here if you were a bad person?"

"I guess not" the latina mutters, "You didn't have to you know, but I'm glad that you did Noah" she adds softly, surprising the man with the use of his first name. He doesn't respond, choosing to hug her close, knowing that she would appreciate the physical gesture. They sit in silence watching the ridiculously bad daytime tv show, both of them laughing at parts which the director most likely didn't want to come across as funny.

"I made plans with Mike for later, then I'm gonna crash at his and Tina's place tonight, I know you and Quinn have some stuff to talk about." Puck tells Santana during one of the commercial breaks.

"You're coming back tomorrow though, right?"

"Yeah, of course. You guys have a 'Puck' room, like hell would I stay somewhere else" he laughs and Santana rolls her eyes to hide how relieved she is that Puck would be coming back.

0-00-0

Santana looks up as Quinn quietly leaves their bedroom, walking on shaky legs to the kitchen. She silently stands up, following her wife and leaning against the doorframe, watching as Quinn searches for coffee.

"You know the rules" Santana tells her, "not when you're recovering" the Latina walks over to the blonde, taking her hand and leading her to sit at the kitchen table, Quinn sitting dejectedly as her wife pours her a glass of orange juice, placing it in front of her as well as a couple of vitamins. Placing the vitamins onto her tongue, she gulps down some of her juice, looking over at Santana who gives her a satisfied nod.

"I'll make you some toast" the Latina tells her, knowing that Quinn needs to eat something but her stomach wouldn't be able to handle anything heavy straight away. She gives the blonde a stern look when she notices her opening her mouth to argue, Quinn closing her mouth immediately. "Puck went out with Mike and he's staying with them until tomorrow night" she states as she places two slices of bread into the toaster. "We'll deal with things tomorrow morning"

"Can't you do it now?" Quinn asks pleadingly, Santana turning to face her, leaning against the counter with her arms folded across her chest.

"No, your body needs to recover first" she replies, her tone of voice indicating that she won't be swayed in her decision. The Latina studies Quinn who seems to be pondering what to say next. "What is it baby?" she asks gently.

"I knew I was wrong, I knew that I wasn't looking after myself" the blonde mumbles so quietly that Santana has to strain to hear her. "I just thought that my body would be able to handle it for a few days until I could finish the case preparation" Santana is silent as she thinks about her wife's words, knowing what Quinn is asking for.

"The rules are already going back into place for a few weeks, if that's what you're asking" she coaxes, understanding that her wife needs to hand over some of her responsibilities for a while until she gets back on track. Quinn's small nod confirms this and Santana closes the gap between them, crouching down in front of her and taking both of her hands into her tanned ones. "You can say no"

"I don't want to. I need this,it's works. The first time we used the rules saved me, you saved me" Santana swallows the lump in her throat as she leans up to capture Quinn's lips in a sweet kiss.

_They eat breakfast in a comfortable silence, Quinn barely denting her bowl of cereal but at least making an effort to eat something, much to Santana's relief. The latina glances over at the other girl as she finishes off her own cereal, pushing the bowl over to the side of the table. She waits patiently for Quinn to finish, resting her chin on her hand and screwing around on her IPhone, replying to any messages that she has received._

_"I can't eat anymore" Quinn tells her with a sigh."I tried"_

_"It's okay" Santana replies in a soothing voice, "It'll take your stomach some time to get used to eating properly again, the doctor said the main thing was to keep you hydrated"she adds as she stands up, taking both of their bowls over to the sink and placing them in before taking two bottles of water from the fridge._

_"I just feel so useless" Quinn whimpers, tears blurring her hazel eyes as she accepts the bottle from Santana, the latina moving to sit in the chair next to her, placing a hand on her knee. "It's like I just stop caring...I feel lost" The latina pulls Quinn into her arms after she hears the first sob appear from the girl's mouth, forcing herself to keep it together as her friend sobs in her arms. "Please help me Santana"_

_"I will honey, you know I will. Whatever you need" the brunette promises, pressing a soft kiss into pink hair. Santana cradles her friend, humming softly as she cries herself out, running her fingers through the girl's short hair."What do you need?" she coaxes gently. "Do you think you need some stability? To help you get better?" the latina feels Quinn nod against her chest and carefully guides her back into her seat, taking a hold of her hands and looking into her wet, swollen eyes._

_"How are you going to help me?" Quinn asks in a small voice, a desperate look on her perfect features. Santana thinks for a second, her own desperation building as she looks at her broken friend. Sighing, she stands up, walking over to one of the drawers and pulling out a pad of paper and a pen before moving to sit back down next to Quinn._

_"How about we write down some rules that you need to abide by for the next little while? Things that you can and can't do, at least until you're back to full health?" Quinn studies the latina curiously, taking in her idea and nodding slowly._

_"And the uh...consequences would be what we were talking about earlier?" she asks, the latina nodding in response. "I'd have a say in the rules though, right?"_

_"Of course, nothing would ever happen without your consent, we could even decide on a safe word if you thought I was going too far" Santana states._

_"No, I trust you" Quinn mumbles, breaking out into a sudden smirk, "You googled all this didn't you?" The latina breaking out into a light blush is answer enough for the girl and she stifles a giggle. Santana frowns as she picks up the pen, poising it on the paper, the pink haired girl taking the hint and schooling her features._

0-00-0

Quinn waits quietly in the livingroom for Santana to come back out of their bedroom, staring at the television set but not actually watching it, lost in her thoughts on how things would unfold over the next few weeks,especially the upcoming couple of days. She knows that Santana will find them as emotionally draining as she will, just like every other time and she's thankful to have a wife who loves her enough to punish her, despite how much she hates doing it.

"Alright baby, I found it" Santana announces as she walks back into the livingroom, flourishing a piece of paper and sitting down on the coffee table opposite her wife. The latina critically eyes the list, the dog-eared sheet that was first written on ten years ago had had a couple off extra rules added during their relationship. Silently, she hands the rules over to her wife, taking a mental note to have Quinn write out a fresh list in the morning. "Ok honey, I want you to read it out to me" Santana tells her firmly.

"I, Quinn Fabray-Lopez agree to the following rules of our relationship. One, I must eat three meals a day, two, I must be in bed no later than eight hours before I have to get up in the morning" the blonde starts, nerves evident in her voice as she looks up into warm brown eyes that give her encouragement, her wife nodding, urging her to continue. "Three, I will be limited to one cup of coffee a day and only on work days. Four, I will not consume alcohol until I am back to full health. Five, only complete honesty at all times will be accepted. Six, Bad moods caused by work must be left at work, seven, I must take all necessary vitamins" Quinn looks up from the shabby piece of paper, knowing that over the last week or so she had broken every rule that is listed on it.

"You're not finished" Santana informs her sternly with a raised brow, leaning forward to point to the bottom of the sheet, Quinn sighing softly.

"These rules will be put into full effect after a joint decision states that they are needed. Failure to follow these rules will result in a punishment chosen by my wife, Santana Marie Lopez." Quinn finishes softly, handing the paper back to the Santana who folds it up and slides it into her pocket.

"Do you want to make any changes?" she asks the blonde, watching her carefully as she shakes her head in the negative, ensuring that she isn't holding back. "Ok honey, then I think you should have an early night, it's going to a tough day tomorrow.

**Thanks for reading, reviews are greatly appreciated! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox.**

**Thank you for all the reviews, I enjoy hearing what you guys think :)**

**Just a warning, this chapter contains a lot of adult content so isn't suitable for minors.**

**Italics are in flashbacks. For K,J & Squishy.**

Chapter 7

Santana leans her head back as the hot bath water soothes her knotted muscles, letting out a contented sigh and closing her eyes.She allows her body to relax, the aroma of the lavender bubble bath filling her nostrils. The Latina keeps her eyes closed as she hears her wife enter the bathroom, smiling when Quinn's soft hand brushes over her stomach, tracing little patterns over her abs. Her hand shoots out, grabbing the blonde's as she attempts to dip her hand lower. Brown eyes finally open, sternly warning Quinn, who knows better than you try and mix sex with punishment. Pouting ever so slightly, the blonde pleadingly gazes at her wife, the Latina not backing down.

"No Quinn" she tells her firmly, "today isn't about that. You know better." Hazel eyes drop in disappointment at the chastisement."How come you're awake so early anyway?"

"Well you did make me go to bed at seven thirty last night so it's no real surprise that I'm awake" the blonde grumbles.

"You needed to rest" Santana states simply and Quinn rolls her eyes with a scoff. "You don't think you do?" the Latina asks sarcastically.

"Of course I do" the blonde snaps, earning a reproving look from her wife. "I'm not an idiot"

"For someone who's about to go over my knee, your attitude is terrible this morning" the brunette remarks, "I understand that you are impatient to get it over with but you were still asleep when I woke up, I would have waited to come in the bath had you been awake. I'd like you to into the living room and get ready for your spanking please Quinn" Santana orders firmly, "I will be ready in fifteen minutes and I expect you to be too" the Latina watches as her wife leaves the bathroom, a dejected look on her pretty features. Sighing, she pulls the plug and grabs her towel, climbing out of the bath-tub and wrapping it around her. Walking into her bedroom, she makes quick work of drying her tanned body. She drops the towel into the hamper and quckly applies her deodorant before moving to stand naked in front of her close, looking for something comfortable to wear. After throwing on some underwear, followed by a pair of sweats and a tank top, she flops down onto their bed, still having five minutes to kill.

_Quinn watches shyly as Santana tapes the list of rules onto the inside of the closet door of the guest bedroom, Quinn's bedroom now. The turns back to face her, closing the door behind her, immediately noticing the apprehension on her friend's face._

_"Hey, you ok Q? You're not gonna pass out again?" she asks in a panic, ready to catch her if she needs to. The pink haired girl merely shakes her head as she sinks done to sit on the edge of her bed. "Quinn.. What's wrong?" The girl looks up at Santana, noticing the concern clouding her eyes and feeling bad._

_"There's nothing wrong, I promise. I just...it's awkward, nevermind" Quinn sighs, avoiding all eye contact with the Latina._

_"You can tell me anything"The brunette murmurs softly, sitting next to her friend on the bed. "Is it about the rules?" _

_"Kinda, I guess" the paler girl whispers, a blush creeping onto her face. "The rules are to prevent this stuff happening again but..." Quinn sighs, growing frustrated with herself. "What about this time?" she adds quickly and Santana has to bite her lip to stop herself vocalising how damn cute it is. The Latina watches her friend, trying to find any sign of confusion on her face, not finding any.___

_"You want to be punished for this? Do you really think that's fair? This hasn't happened before, do you really want me to punish you for making a mistake once?" Santana presses, Quinn screwing up her face as she thinks about it._

_"I never really thought about it like that" she admits, glancing towards the Latina next to her. "But if I break the rules from now on.."_

_"There will be some sort of punishment for it" the brunette confirms. They are silent for a few minutes, both girls deep in thought, Santana thinking about the huge responsibility she has taken on whereas Quinn's thoughts have taken a less serious turn._

_"Do you still have that peroxide?"she finally asks causing Santana to break out into a grin, chuckling slightly as she nods._

0-00-0

Quinn forces herself to stand still as she faces the corner, her nose inches away from touching it with her hands by her side. The routine is still the same as ten years ago, the same as the very first time. Pull a chair from the kitchen into the livingroom, move the coffee table out of the way, grab the hairbrush and place it on the chair before moving to stand in the corner until Santana tells her otherwise. Quinn listens as Santana comes out of the bedroom and walking into the kitchen, only to exit again and walk to the livingroom a few seconds later.

"Quinn, come into the kitchen please" the latina orders, disappearing back into the kitchen. The blonde follows her wife, finding her standing beside the table which has two sheets of paper and a pen laying on it's varnished surface. "Sit down" Quinn obeys instantly, sitting in front of the sheets of paper. Santana places the original list of rules onto the table, it's dog-eared edges curling up. "I want you to copy the list out, we need a fresher copy. One to keep on the back of our bedroom door and one for you to carry in your purse" Santana says, her tone leaving no room for argument.

"Yes ma'am" Quinn replies submissively as she begins to write, aware that the latina is watching her like a hawk. In a final effort to lessen her punishment, the blonde writes in her best cursive, ignoring the fact that they had used Santana's scribbled one for a leans against the kitchen counter as her wife writes out fresh copies of their rule list, having to fight back a smile at Quinn's concentration face. She watches as the blonde slides one finished list towards her with a tentative look, giving her a reassuring nod to continue. After she is finished both sheets, Santana checks them before handing the two fresh sheets back to her wife.

"Put one on the back of our door and one in your purse" she tells her, the blonde immediately complying while Santana picks up the old piece. She sighs, folding it up and putting it into her pocket, not able to bring herself to throw a huge part of their history out. The Latina takes a deep breath, huffing the air out loudly as she mentally prepares herself to punish her wife. Pushing all thoughts out of her head, Santana walks into the livingroom, sitting down on the straight backed chair just as Quinn exits the bedroom. The blonde swallows nervously as she closes the gap between them, coming to a stop in front of her wife, her eyes down. Completely in a submissive headspace.

"Look at me please" Santana's voice holds a lot of authority and Quinn's eyes snap up almost of their own accord. "Why are you being punished?"

**Alright guys, let me know what you think, there should be an extra long chapter up by noon UK time :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**I do now own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox.**

**Thank you for the amazing reviews, they really do make my day when I get them!**

**Flashbacks are in italics :)**

**For K,J &Squishela!**

Chapter 8

Santana takes a hold of Quinn's arm, gently pulling her to stand at her left side. She looks deep into her wife's eyes, silently conveying her love and reassurance. The Latina watches as the blonde takes a deep breath, readying herself before giving the brunette a small nod. Santana reaches out, swiftly pulling her wife's pajama bottoms down and tugging over her lap, Quinn exhaling loudly as she lands. The Latina shifts her legs slightly so that her wife's backside is in the perfect position, raising her hand and laying down the first smack onto the blonde's panty clad behind. She sets about warming her wife's bottom up, spanking her wife medium strength. Quinn feels her behind slowly heating up as her wife continues her assault on the sensitive skin. The only noise in the otherwise quiet room is the sound of flesh meeting thinly protected flesh and the soft moans escaping from the blonde's lips.

"I don't ever want to have to do this again Quinn" Santana scolds in a stern voice, "but I will if I need to" she adds. The Latina covers her wife's backside with another layer of firm spanks, noticing the pink skin peeking out from Quinn's underwear and pulling them down to the hollow of her knees. Cool air hits Quinn's warm behind, offering a second of soothing relief until Santana starts her second wave of punishing spanks. The Latina concentrates on her wife's sensitive sit spots, Quinn letting out a loud squeal after a particularly hard smack. The blonde can tell her wife is putting much more force behind these spanks, each one stinging and the burn settling deep into her tender flesh afterwards.

"San..please" Quinn whimpers as the latina's hand relentlessly whips down on her now pink bottom. Santana's heart clenches at her wife's pleading, knowing that she has to continue, no matter how pain the blonde is in, an incomplete punishment would be like a rejection to her. She watches as Quinn's back heaves in a silent sob, knowing that the hand spanking should end soon. The latina spanks softer now, not wishing to add more heat but to merely keep the fire going. She smacks the underside of each globe twice before stopping, rubbing the palm of her hand over the hot skin gently, giving her wife a short break.

"Ok baby, we're almost done. I'm going to give you ten with the brush, you don't have to count" Santana whispers, her hand resting on burning flesh. "Hand me the hairbrush" Quinn sobs as she picks the wooden hairbrush up from the floor and hands it back to her wife. The brunette hooks her wife's legs under one of her own, knowing from past experience that she would have to do it at some point anyway. Quinn hears the brush crack against her skin, the pain shooting through her bottom seconds later causing her to buck, Santana's leg holding her in place. She follows up with two sharp spanks to her sit spots, Quinn shrieking in pain, bringing tears to Santana's own eyes, quickly blinking them away. She brings the brush down again and again, spreading them over her wife's red backside. Throwing down the brush, she sighs in relief that it's over as she runs her hand soothingly up and down Quinn's back, avoiding her fiery behind.

"I'm so sorry..so sorry" Quinn chokes out, painful sobs wracking through her body.

"It's ok baby girl, it's over" Santana murmurs.

0-00-0

Puck smiles as he slips into Santana and Quinn's apartment, spotting them on the couch, Quinn fast asleep with her head in her wife's lap. Santana smiles in silent greeting as she runs her finger through thick blonde hair, nodding as Puck gestures the the guest bedroom that he had long ago claimed as his own. The latina looks down when she feels her wife stirring, her eyes flickering open and meeting hers. She smiles softly as she caresses her thumb along Quinn's brow, no words needed, their eyes telling each other what they need to hear. They watch Tv for a while until Santana notices that it's after six o'clock, she puts her hands over her wife's ears.

"PUCK!" she yells, the man in question walking into the room a few seconds later wearing a curious look. "What do you want for dinner?" she asks and he rolls his eyes, thinking it had been some sort of emergency.

"I don't care" he sighs, slumping into the armchair and looking over at Quinn. "How are you feeling today?"

"Much better" Quinn mumbles, Puck completely oblivious to the double meaning in her answer, just nodding with a grin.

"How about stir-fry?" Santana asks, thinking it will be much better for Quinn than take-out like they usually did on a Saturday. She slides out from underneath the blonde, pressing a soft kiss to her temple before standing up and stretching out her stiff muscles. When she doesn't hear any complaints about her choice for dinner she walks into the kitchen and starts grabbing everything she needs, almost dropping the wok when she turns around to find Quinn standing there"

"Sorry" the blonde whispers, realising she scared the latina.

"It's ok" Santana replies, holding her arms out and allowing her wife to sink into her embrace. "Are you ok sweetheart?" she feels the blonde nod against her shoulder and she runs her hands down her back to cup her backside gently, Quinn hissing in response. "Sorry" the latina murmurs, rubbing soft circles with the palms of her hands. She pulls out of the hug, walking to the kitchen door and sticking her head out of the doorway, "Puck could you please do me a favour and run to the grocery store, we need more orange juice" The blonde doesn't hear his response but finds out his answer as she listens to the front door open and close. Santana motions for Quinn to take her hand and leads her to their bedroom and coaxing her to lie face down on their bed, pulling her sweatpants and underwear down to her thighs before grabbing aloe vera lotion from the top of her dresser. Climbing onto the bed, she carefully straddles the back of the blonde's thighs and squeezing a blob of lotion into her hands.

"Thank you" Quinn says with a relieved sigh as her wife gently massages the cold lotion into her buttocks, carefully avoiding putting any pressure of the light bruising on her sit spot. She knows that she'll still feel the spanking for a few days but at least the burning is subsiding, the bruises would be reminder enough.

**Drop me a review to let me know what you think :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**I do now own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox.**

**Thank you for the reviews, I love that you guys are still interested in this!**

**Flashbacks are in italics :) This will probably be the last update for a few days.**

**For K,J &Squishela!**

Chapter 9

_Santana leads Quinn down the crowded hallway of Mckinley high school, glaring at anyone who got in their way, they can both hear the whispers, the news of Quinn's sexuality spreading like wildfire. The students know not to say anything to the girl's face, the fact that she's keeping company with the captain of the cheerio, the fiery latina and her infamous temper terrifying them all too much to mess with Quinn. The brunette takes her friend's hand into hers as they walk into the choir room, putting her body between the blonde and the rest of the glee club as they rush over to her, all of them asking questions at once._

_"Alright give her room to breathe, Yes she was in hospital, yes she's fine now and yes she's coming back to glee club so back off" Santana snaps,pulling Quinn to sit in the back row with her._

_"I think we deserve to know what it was Santana, if it's something contagious and I catch it then we will have no chance at sectionals, you can't possibly win without me" Rachel rants obnoxiously and Santana glares at her._

_"Listen Hobbit, It's none of your goddamn business so sit down before I make you" the latina growls,smirking victoriously when the petite girl sits down dramatically. She shoots Quinn a wink as the club all settle down to listen to Mr Schue, leaning back in her chair as the blonde scoots her chair closer to hers. Santana notices that Brittany is staring at them in confusion and she feels her cell phone vibrate, no doubt indicating a text from Brittany, ignoring it and enjoying Quinn's company instead. It takes her a while to realise that they're still holding hands and at the same time she realises that it feels right, their hands fitting together perfectly._

_"Thanks for defending me in there" Quinn tells her quietly as they leave the choir room, walking fast to avoid anymore questions from their team-mates._

_"You're welcome" the latina replies simply, swinging their still joined hands playfully. "I promised you I would look out for you and I will" she smiles as they reach Quinn's locker and she finds herself unable to tear her gaze from amazing hazel eyes, hazel eyes that are staring right back at her. Before Santana can even react, she feels Quinn's soft lips on hers, tasting her strawberry lip gloss. She kisses her back, her tanned hands firmly planted on thin hips as she deepens the kiss, moaning when pink lips part and a warm tongue slips into her mouth, wrestling with hers. The blonde's arms snake around Santana's waist, holding her close as the kiss comes to an organic end, their foreheads resting against each other. Quinn's gaze holds the latina in a kind of trance as she grins goofily at the other girl, a locker slamming shut making them jump apart. Brittany stares at her two best friends with a mixture of shock and hurt on her face, she doesn't say anything, simply turning and walking the other way._

0-00-0

Santana closes the front door quietly as she returns from dropping Puck off at the airport, smiling when she hears the shower running. She locks the apartment door, slipping out of her converse she walks to the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes on the floor behind her as she slips into the bathroom. She smirks as Quinn screams when she rips the shower door open, cold air hitting her naked body, the scream dying in her throat as she soaks in the sight of her naked wife, pulling her into the shower and slamming the door closed. Santana pins the blonde against the shower wall, kissing a sucking on her neck while Quinn lets out a soft moan. Tanned hands roam across Quinn's toned body, latching on to her breasts as her mouth moves to her wife's earlobe, scraping her teeth against it.

"Jesus..San" Quinn pants as Santana lifts her thigh up inbetween her pale legs, both of them groaning as the latina's knee meets the blonde's hot centre.Quinn gasps as she feels her latina's tongue slide down to her neck again, suckling on her pulse point and pressing her knee more forcefully against Quinn's dripping pussy, wrapping a tanned arm around the blonde's waist, holding her up as she plunges two fingers into her tight entrance, scissoring her fingers inside her as she holds her wife's gaze.

"Please" Quinn begs as she grinds against Santana's fingers.

"Please what? Tell me what you want" the Latina husks.

"Fuck me" she hisses, Santana immediately obeying, sliding her fingers in and out of Quinn as fast and hard as she can, the palm of her hand bumping against her swollen clit. The blonde arches back against the shower wall as the Latina ploughs into her, using her hips to plunge her fingers deeper. She can feel Quinn's walls tightening around her fingers as she kisses her, the Latinas mouth stifling Quinn's scream of ecstasy, her name ripping from her wife's throat as she helps her ride out her orgasm. "Oh my god, Santana, that was amazing" Quinn breathes out.

"You're amazing" the latina replies with a smile, a smile that fades as she feels the water go cold and she turns the water off, kissing her wife sweetly, smirking as she realises the blonde's chest is still heaving. Quinn pecks Santana on the lips and pushes the shower door open and grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her wet body, Santana following suit. They get dressed in a comfortable silence, the latina dragging a huge blanket into the livingroom with her, both of them wrapping themselves in it as they settle down to watch a movie, Quinn happy to just snuggle up against her wife's warm body, happy just being near her.

_The ride back to Santana's house is silent as both girls think about happened back at school, the look on Brittany's face making the latina more furious by the second as she grips the steering wheel tightly, her knuckles turning white. 'Who does Brittany think she is' she rages internally, 'She chose that cripple over me..twice, where does she get off being hurt that I'm kissing someone else, someone who won't crap all over me like she did' The latina feels Quinn's warm hand rest on her thigh, squeezing gently and it calms her slightly._

_"I'm glad it happened" Santana tells her and Quinn's head whips around to face her, "Not the Brittany part..but the rest of it was amazing" The blonde smiles genuinly at the latina's words, nodding her head in agreement._

_"Me too" she confirms and Santana feels her anger drain away, her face splitting into a huge smile. "You need to talk to Brittany though, you guys are still friends" the latina scowls at that but nods. She knows Quinn is right._

_"I'll talk to her tomorrow"_

Santana jerks awake, confused at first until she realises they're still on the couch and the movie is finished, the irritating background music of the dvd menu playing on a loop. She looks down at Quinn who is sleeping peacefully with her head pressed against the latina's chest. She gently shakes her, Quinn frowning and mumbling as she wakes up, Santana's grins at how adorable her wife is.

"Baby, come on it's late and you have an after care appointment at the hospital tomorrow morning" Quinn sighs as she realises Santana is right and struggles into a seated position, groggily leaning against the latina's shoulder, glad that she takes the hint and pulls her up with her, supporting most of her weight as they walk to their bedroom. She pulls back the duvet and slides into bed, Quinn following her and Santana spoons her, placing a gentle kiss to her wife's neck as she nuzzles into her.

0-00-0

_The whole Glee club stares in shock as Santana finishes her announcement, they knew that the latina and Brittany had sometimes made out at parties but they never suspected that Santana would actually be a lesbian, yet here she is, telling them all the truth before she sings her solo, trying to out-do Rachel and win a chance to be the lead at sectionals._

_"It's late in the evening; she's wondering what clothes to wear. _

_She puts on her make-up and brushes her long blonde hair. _

_And then she asks me, "Do I look all right? _

_And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight." Santana's silky voice seems to be perfect for her song choice but no-one apart from Mr Schue really notices, most of them concentrating on the fact that the latina is holding eye contact with Quinn as she sings._

_"We go to a party and everyone turns to see _

_This beautiful lady that's walking around with me. _

_And then she asks me, "Do you feel all right?_

_And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight." Quinn grins at the latina, the girl she considers to be her saviour, tears starting to build in her eyes as she listens to to her sing the blonde's favourite song._

_"I feel wonderful because I see _

_The love light in your eyes. _

_And the wonder of it all _

_Is that you just don't realize how much I love you" Santana ignores every other person in the room, they may as well be invisible to her, the latina only noticing the hazel eyed blonde bombshell in the corner._

_"It's time to go home now and I've got an aching head, _

_So I give her the car keys and she helps me to bed. _

_And then I tell her, as I turn out the light, _

_I say, My darling, you were wonderful tonight. _

_Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight." Santana finishes to rapturous cheers as she closes the gap between herself and Quinn, capturing the blonde's lips in a sweet kiss, the room going silent._

**Let me know what you think, I'll try to update in a couple of days time after I've caught uo with some sleep :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews and PMs for this fic, I'm an awe of all the kind things you guys have been saying.**

**Flashbacks are in Italics**

**For K,J &Squishy.**

Chapter 10

_Santana storms towards the library with a determined stride and a scowl plastered on her face as she looks around for Quinn. Spotting her in the far corner, she forces herself to calm down as she stalks over to her, sitting in the chair next to hers. The blonde keeps her eyes averted from Santana's furious ones, knowing why the latina is angry._

_"Anything you wanna tell me?" Santana asks lowly with a raised brow, "Which rule did you break?" Quinn hesitates and the latina lets out a sigh."Tell me what number five is" she tells her firmly._

_"Honesty" Quinn whispers, her eyes still locked on the book that she had been reading before her girlfriend's angry entrance._

_"That's right so I suggest you tell me which rule you broke, otherwise you'll be breaking two rules" The blonde lets out a shaky breathe as she finally makes eye contacts with Santana._

_"The first one"_

_"Which is?" Santana prompts patiently, understanding that it may be hard for the other girl to admit to her first mistake._

_"I must eat three meals a day" Quinn finally says and the latina nods. "I wasn't hungry San, I'm sorry, I promise to do better next time" she adds in a pleading voice but is silenced by her girlfriend's icy glare. "Can we talk about it at home? Please?"_

_"We will" is all Santana says, standing up and pressing a kiss to the blonde's forehead before leaving her alone in the library with her thoughts. Quinn knows she has messed up but doesn't really think missing one meal is a big of a deal as Santana is making it. She struggles to focus on her book, her thoughts jumping back to the look on the latina's face and her menacing tone of voice, wondering what exactly will happen when they get back to the Lopez house. With a heavy sigh she stuffs her book into her backpack and makes a hasty exit from the library, deciding to go and get some fresh air to clear her head._

0-00-0

Quinn can feel her co-worker's eyes on her as she leaves the office of one of the senior partners, making her way back to her own office as she holds off the frustrated tears that threaten to fall. Slamming her office door closed and locking it, she slumps into her chair with her head in her hands and lets the tears stream down her face as she curses herself for being such an idiot. The blonde pulls her purse out from underneath her desk and pulls out her cell-phone, sending a quick text to Santana to tell her that she'll pick her up from work and that she doesn't need to use the subway before standing up and storming from her office.

"Such an idiot" she mutters to herself as she stands in the elavator, going down to the parking garage, tapping her foot impatiently until the doors open. Quinn makes her way over to the jeep, throwing her purse into the back seat as she slams the door closed. Flipping the radio on, she drives out of the garage, glad that she'll be missing the rush hour traffic as she makes her way to Santana's hospital. The drive doesn't take long and Santana is just leaving the hospital as she pulls up to the sidewalk, noticing the concerned look on the latina's face as she walks quickly to the car, not wishing to spend much time in the winter air.

"Is everything ok baby?" Santana asks as she climbs into the passenger seat, kissing her wife softly on the lips. "How come you finished early?"

"I got kicked off the case" Quinn answers simply as she pulls the car away from the sidewalk. "I'm being put on administration duties until further notice, the senior partners don't want to risk anything. They said they're worried about my health but everyone knows they're just scared that I screw up in court" the blonde snaps, not happy about her bosses decision in the least.

"I'm sorry honey, I know that this case is important to you but maybe it's for the best. It means you don't have to work late, maybe working nine til five for a few weeks will be good for you" Santana reasons, not missing the dark look her wife shoots her.

"Of course you would think that Santana, you don't realise how hard I've been working" the blonde mutters darkly and the latina looks at her in disbelief.

"You really think that? Are you kidding me? Of course I know how hard you've been working, you've been working yourself into the ground, hence why the rules have been brought back, hence why I blistered your ass at the weekend" Santana all but yells, her furious voice echoing in the small confines of the car. Quinn doesn't respond, knowing her wife is right. She focuses only on driving as they head home, Santana glaring out of the window during the silent journey.

_Quinn remains quiet as she follows Santana from the driveway and towards the house, knowing she doesn't have a leg to stand. The latina unlocks the front door, gesturing for Quinn to enter ahead of her, following her in and locking the door again. She turns away from the door to find the blonde standing sheepishly, waiting for some sort of direction. Santana motions for her girlfriend to follow her as she walks into the livingroom and slumps on the sofa, Quinn instantly joining her._

_"I know you don't think it's a big deal to miss out on lunch but you have to understand that the rules are in place for a reason Quinn" the latina tells her, a disapproving frown on her face. "That's how it starts, you miss one meal one day and then you miss two meals and it turns into you barely eating. You agreed to these rules, especially this one"_

_"I'm sorry" Quinn murmurs, looking ashamed of herself. "You're right, I just...I don't know, I'm struggling I guess"_

_"I know honey, it's completely understandable. The rules are to help you, I'm here to help you" Santana tells her with a kind smile. "If you feel yourself slipping then all you have to do is let me know and I'll help you through it, that's what you should have done today" Quinn nods, accepting what the latina is telling her. "So, you understand that by breaking one of the rules, you need to be punished for it?"_

_"Yes" the blonde whispers._

_"Ok, well do whatever homework you have before dinner because you'll be going straight to bed afterwards and you won't have time to do it" Santana sternly says, not wanting to be too harsh with the blonde for the first rule break. She stands up, heading to the kitchen to make a start on dinner, stopping in the doorway and turning to face the contrite blonde on the sofa. "Next time you skip a meal, I won't be so lenient Quinn" The paler girl nods and Santana studies her for a second before leaving the livingroom._

**Thanks for reading, reviews are majorly welcomed :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox.**

**A/n I had forgotten to mention before, this fic was written due to a prompt that I received from Klmeire, so if you like it then you have her to thank! **

**The prompt : Quinntana exploration fic with full character development. How they get started, how they got into DD, why they do it and what they think.**

Chapter 11

_Santana glances over at Quinn as they eat dinner, noting with a smile that the blonde has eaten half of it so far, she meets her hazel eyes for a second before Quinn lowers them back to her plate, a blush rising on her pale face. The latina subtly watches her girlfriend, rolling her eyes as the blonde slowly eats her pasta, clearly trying to prolong going to bed._

_"My parents are coming home tomorrow for a few nights, my dad's conference was cancelled" Santana tells her, watching as panic takes over Quinn's face. "It's okay,they just want to talk to you about staying here" she says, taking a hold of her hand. "They want to make sure you're alright and I have a feeling that my Dad may try to talk to your parents"_

_"They won't talk to him" Quinn replies immediately._

_"I know but if I know my father then he'll at least try" The latina tells her with a sympathetic smile gracing her features. "I told them about it" she says softly, quickly speaking again when Quinn looks terrified, "Not the rules, about us dating I mean. Our agreement isn't something I'd tell anyone, that's private" Quinn nods, smiling softly at her latina."Speaking of the arrangement, eating slowly won't stop the punishment" The blonde blushes at being caught out and starts eating her pasta properly as Santana gives her a smug look. Silence falls over them as they finish their dinner, the latina taking the plates to the sink as soon as they're done._

_"Do I have to go straight away?" Quinn asks timidly and Santana sighs._

_"Go put your pajamas on and then come back down" she replies firmly, watching as the blonde leaves the room. She checks her watch, noting that it's a little after six before turning to do the washing up. The latina is almost done by the time a blushing Quinn shuffles back into the kitchen, standing in the doorway until Santana looks at her._

_"Hey" the blonde murmurs awkwardly and the latina refrains from telling her how adorable she looks._

_"Hey yourself" she replies as she throws the dish towel onto the draining board._

_"When you said that next time you wouldn't be so lenient, what did you mean?" Santana raises an eyebrow at her girlfriend's question, leaning against the sink with her arms folded across her chest._

_"Exactly what I said, the next time you skip a meal without a valid reason I won't just be sending you to bed, I'll be putting you across my knee" Santana responds in an even tone, not dropping her gaze from Quinn's hazel eyes. "Hell the next time you break any of the rules it won't just be an early bedtime" The blonde studies the latina's face, knowing that any argument would be futile at this point, she shrugs and walks over to Santana, hugging her._

_"Goodnight" she states simply, comforted by the warm arms that hug her back._

_"Goodnight honey. I'll come check on you in a little while. No reading, no nothing, just lights out and in bed" Santana sternly tells her and Quinn nods._

0-00-0

Santana sighs as Quinn pulls into the parking garage of their apartment building, jerking forward slightly as her wife is a little eager with the break pedal. She can sense that the blonde is still in a foul mood, watching her rip the keys from the ignition after killing the engine.

"Rule six" Santana states.

"What?" Quinn snaps, turning in her seat to glare at the latina.

"Tell me what rule six is" Santana snaps back as she turns her own smouldering glare onto her wife.

"Bad moods caused by work must be left at work" Quinn sighs, irritated at the reminder.

"That's right, So you can sit here until you calm down. I'll be in the apartment" The latina tells her as she jumps out of the car and strides over to the elevator. Quinn watches as the doors close, leaning back in her seat with a sigh, knowing that she is in the wrong. The blonde switches the radio on, chuckling dryly as Amy Winehouse's cover of 'Valerie' croons out of the speakers. She sits there for a few minutes, feeling calmer but her pride stopping her from going up to her and Santana's apartment. Frustration building back up, she slams her hand onto the steering wheel and turning the radio off. Opening the door to the car, she steps out and locks it before walking over to the elevator, glad that she doesn't have to wait long for it to arrive. Quinn rolls her eyes at the stupid music that the elavator played, realising that it's a Christmas song...in November.

"Hey" she says sheepishly as she enters the apartment, finding Santana on the sofa, already changed into sweatpants and a long sleeved t'shirt and flipping aimlessly through the tv channels.

"Hey yourself" Santana replies. "Are you calm now?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry San. I didn't mean to take it out on you" Quinn tells her honestly and Santana nods her acceptance. "And I.. have something to tell you, I broke number three, I had more than one cup of coffee" The latina's eyes narrow but her expression remains indifferent as she studies the blonde.

"How many cups did you have?" Santana questions quietly.

"It's just I was so busy and I needed a boost, I know the rules are in place for a reason but it was such a long day San and I..."

"How many?" The latina's clipped tone interrupts Quinn's stuttering and the blonde gives her wife a pleading look. "Quinn, you did the right thing by being honest, don't break that rule now, how many cups?" she repeats, her patience slipping.

"Four" Quinn mutters, staring at the floor. She doesn't notice Santana has moved until she feels her warm hand grasp her arm, pulling her into the kitchen.

"Sit" the latina orders, turning to look through one of the drawers as Quinn dejectedly slumps into a chair. Santana slaps a pad of paper down onto the table in front of her, dropping a pen down beside it. "I will be limited to one cup of coffee day and only on work days, seventy five times. Twenty five for each extra cup, do not move until you're done" Santana tells her firmly before leaving the room.

_Quinn stares at the ceiling as she lays in bed, the sunset creating patterned shadows around the room as it shines through the curtains. She checks the clock beside the bed, sighing as she realises it's still only just after eight, Santana would probably be coming to check on her soon and she really wanted to be asleep by then. She rolls her eyes as she hears a soft knock at the door, impeccable timing as usual from the latina. Santana smiles softly as she slips into the room, sitting on the edge of the bed._

_"I didn't think you'd still be awake" she says quietly._

_"Sorry" Quinn whispers in response._

_"For still being awake?" Santana chuckles, "I can't tell you off for being unable to sleep, I imagine that's what usually happens when people are sent to bed early. That's why it's a punishment, lying in bed bored and unable to sleep and not allowed to do anything to entertain yourself" the latina adds._

_"What time do your parents get back tomorrow?" Quinn asks, hoping to keep her girlfriend talking for a while to keep her entertained, not realising that Santana knows what she is doing._

_"Probably while we're at school, now would you like to stall some more or re you gonna try and go to sleep?" the brunette asks with a smirk and Quinn gives her a sheepish look. "Goodnight" she adds, pressing a kiss to the blonde's lips._

_"Night San"_

**Drop me a review to let me know what you think. Hopefully will have the next chapter up soon!**


	12. Chapter 12

**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise is my own creation.**

**Thank you for all of the amazing reviews, I really do love this story and put everything into it so I really appreciate it.**

Chapter 12

Quinn can hear her wife channel hopping in the livingroom as she writes out the last twenty five lines, ensuring she's being neat so that she doesn't have to do it all over again. She knows that she shouldn't have done, knowing that too much caffeine isn't good for someone who is at full health, nevermind someone who has been putting too much strain on their body. The blonde sighs as she finishes the last line, pushing the paper away from her and dropping the pen down onto the table, knowing that she's supposed to wait until Santana comes back to check on her she leans back in her chair, her hands resting in her lap. Quinn realises that she has gotten off lightly today after her wife gave her the chance to calm down in the car, knowing full well that she could have been punished instead.

"You're finished?" Quinn looks up as Santana enters the kitchen and nods, waiting quietly as Santana stands over her to check her work, her hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Thank you for being honest with me" the latina murmurs as she places a soft kiss to Quinn's head. "I know it was hard for you to admit to it but I'm proud of you" she adds, sitting in the chair next to her wife. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry San" Quinn responds and Santana waves her off.

"It's over with baby girl. Do you wanna talk about work?" the latina asks gently, watching as her wife blinks back tears, grabbing her hand for support.

"I blew it, I worked myself too hard and now it's all for nothing. I feel like I'm back where I started, I'm pretty much a secretary now" Quinn tells Santana sadly.

"I know it feels like that but you didn't do anything wrong with the case, the senior partners know that honey. They're giving you a chance to recover, that's a good thing. I get that you love your job, I love mine but careers come second, I just want you to be healthy baby girl" Quinn nods, agreeing with her wife's reasoning. "It's gonna get better soon" Santana adds.

_Santana watches Quinn out of the corner of her eye as she drives them home from school, noticing that the blonde is nervous from the way she is fiddling with the straps of her backpack which is resting on her lap. Pulling into her driveway next to her father's car, she leaves the engine running as she takes Quinn's pale hand into her hers, looking deep into hazel eyes._

_"Don't be nervous" she murmurs to the blonde. "They're not going to throw you out, they just want to talk to you, I'll be right there beside you the whole time. They're gone a lot of the time but they're good people, you've met them before" Santana studies her girlfriend as she speaks to her, hoping her words are making an impact._

_"I know..I just, what if I mess us up? What if I break us up? I don't have anywhere else to go" Quinn whispers sadly, "I don't want to lose you" she adds with a whimper._

_"Hey..listen to me, you're never going to lose me. Nothing you did would ever push me away, you're stuck with me" the latina responds with a small smirk. "Are you ready to go inside?" Santana kills the engine after Quinn nods, pushing her door open and walking round to Quinn's side of the car where the blonde is closing her door. She offers her hand to her girlfriend, the paler girl grasping it tightly for support as she is led into the Lopez household._

_"Santana" Gloria Lopez smiles as she walks out of the livingroom, pulling her daughter into a warm hug, despite the younger latina's hand still being in Quinn's grasp._

_"Hey Mami" Santana greets._

_"Hi Quinn" the blonde is shocked as she is pulled into a maternal embrace by the older latina. "Have you girls been behaving yourself" she asks, keeping an arm around Quinn as they walk to the livingroom._

_"As always" Santana grins, slumping down onto the sofa, her girlfriend immediately sitting next to her while Gloria settles into one of the armchairs._

_"I doubt I can believe that" Mateo chuckles as he enters the room, leaning down to kiss his daughter's forehead. "__Hola, mi hermosa hija" he smiles before shooting Quinn a wink and sitting in the empty armchair._

_"Hi daddy, how is work?" the latino waves off Santana's question with a scoff._

_"I wouldn't bore you with the details, that's what your mother is for" he smirks, the same smirk that always graces his daughter's features. "How are you settling in Quinn?" he asks kindly, calming the girl's earlier nerves._

_"Fine thank you Mr Lopez, Santana has been really great" the blonde replies, smiling at her girlfriend who is still holding her hand._

_"Please, call me Mateo. I'm glad to hear that Santana has been looking after you, I know she has been worried about you. How are you feeling, I hear you've been rather unwell"_

_"I'm doing much better, I can't thank you enough for allowing me to stay here" Quinn replies gratefully._

_"Nonsense, this is your home now for as long as you want it to be. You will always be welcome here" Gloria interrupts, "Have you spoken to your parents since you've been here?" she asks gently, feeling guilty for asking when the girl sadly shakes her head. "Well that's their loss, Santana cares about you which tells me one thing, you're worth being loved" Quinn fights the tears that spring to her eyes, swallowing the lump in her throat as Santana squeezes her hand reassuringly._

_0-00-0_

Santana lets out a groan as she rolls over, her eyes feeling far too heavy for her to even consider opening as she silently thanks whichever diety is listening that it's Sunday, the only day of the week that she has off from work until her residency is completed. Wincing against the light, she cracks her eyes open and finds the space next to her in the bed empty. With a small pout she forces herself to get out of bed, shuffling out of the bedroom she smiles as the smell of bacon wafts from the kitchen. She finds her wife standing at the stove frying bacon.

"Goodmorning" Quinn smiles as she turns around. "You look adorable" she adds as she takes in Santana's dishevelled hair and tired face.

"So do you" The latina smiles, kissing the blonde chastely on the lips. "Why didn't you wake me? I could have helped with breakfast"

"I wanted to do something nice for you, you always do most of the cooking" Quinn shrugs, turning suddenly as the smell of burning surrounds them. "I guess there's a reason for that" she sighs as she dumps the frying pan with the burnt bacon into the sink and running the cold tap. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to do something for you, I can't even cook bacon without screwing it up" Quinn grumbles and Santana places her hands on the blonde's hips and kisses her softly.

"You got distracted" she states simply, "Don't worry about it. How about we go to that diner you like instead?" the latina suggests, "It's my day off, let's not spend it in the apartment, let's go outside and walk in the snow or throw snowballs at kids and blame it on other people" Quinn laughs as she leans into her wife's body, Santana's arms wrapping around her.

"What about making snow-angels?" the blonde asks with a smirk.

"How could I forget?"

**Please let me know what you think, next chapter is going to be quite angsty I think. Hoping to have it up soon :)**


	13. Chapter 13

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you so much for all the support for this story, it's been a struggle to write but all your amazing reviews have made it worth it :)**_

_**Flashbacks are in italics.**_

_**This is for my friends, you know who you are.**_

Chapter 13

Santana notices that there is something the matter with Quinn as soon as the blonde enters the restaurant, giving their friends a fake smile that everyone but Santana buys. Quinn sits down in between Tina and Santana, pecking the latina on the lips as Kurt explains the premise of the new play he's starring in, only half listening. She can feel Santana's gaze on her, forcing herself to ignore it as she orders a glass of wine, knowing her wife wouldn't chastise her in public. Quinn keeps her eyes trained on Kurt as she waits for her drink to be brought to the table, smiling and nodding in all the right places. She catches Santana's stormy dark eyes as she accepts her wine from the waiter, the latina shakes her head in warning, her face hardening when the blonde takes her first sip of wine.

"Number four" Santana hisses furiously into her wife's ear, fighting to keep her face impassive to stop their friends from noticing her anger.

"I am aware" Quinn murmurs without even looking at the latina, angering her more. Santana battles with her fury as the night goes on, glaring at her wife as she sips her juice, the juice that she had ordered so that Quinn wouldn't be the only person not drinking alcohol. She forces herself to stay calm as her third silent warning of the evening is ignored, the blonde throwing back her third glass within ten minutes and signalling for the waiter.

"No" Santana snaps, "You've had enough" she adds, surprising the rest of the table and also Quinn who had never been told off in public before. She has the decency to listen to her wife this time. Embarrassed, she excuses herself to the ladies room, Santana following her less than a minute later.

"You didn't have to embarrass me" Quinn mutters as she notices her wife enter the bathroom behind her.

"You were ignoring me" the latina responds darkly, her eyes flashing as she stares the blonde out. "I reminded you before you started drinking but you continued anyway, I had to say something. The last time I let something go because we were in public it was disastrous Quinn, we have these rules for a reason... you don't just get to ignore them when you feel like it" The blonde stares at her feet as she takes in her wife's words, wondering how to explain herself. "What's going on?" Santana asks in a softer tone, moving towards her wife when she sees her face crumple.

_Santana throws her cell-phone onto her bed next to her, running her hands through her raven hair as she sighs heavily. She knows not going to the party with Quinn was a big mistake, Puck's parties are always full on. Checking the clock again, the latina shakes her head in disbelief, three in the morning and Quinn still isn't home. She groans as she pulls herself from the comfort of her bed, making quick work of changing out of her pajamas and into a pair of ripped rains and a tank top. Santana is glad that her parents are away again, knowing her mother wouldn't be impressed with Quinn being out this late or with her for going out at this time. She leaves her hair down and throws on a pair of sneakers and her leather jacket, grabbing her car keys and making her way out to the driveway. The latina starts the car and backs out of the driveway, heading in the direction of Puckerman's house. The loud music from the party meets her ears before she can even see the house. Pulling into the side of the road, she groans as she surveys the scene before her, red plastic cups littering all across the front lawn, surrounding a group of freshman who are drunkenly chatting while sitting on the damp grass._

_"Sofia" she snaps as she spots her younger cousin sitting among them, the younger latina's face paling slightly as she makes her way over to her cousin, unsteady on her feet. "Does your Mom know you're here?" she demands, "and that you've been drinking?" she adds, wrinkling her nose at the strong smell of alcohol wafting from Sofia's breath._

_"I told her that I would be staying at a friend's house and I am, we'll be going to Caitlin's house soon" Sofia replies meekly. "And I only had one beer, relax 'Tana"_

_"Like hell you have, you can barely stand" the older latina notes with disapproval. "You're coming home with me" she tells the fourteen year old firmly, the look in her eyes daring her to argue. "Come on..I have to get Quinn" Santana says, walking up to the house with her hand holding onto Sofia's firmly. She can hear some sort of argument going on inside the house and she stops at the front door. "Stay here, do not move until I come back to get you" Santana orders, walking into the house and leaving her cousin to wait for her. The latina recognises the two voices of the people involved in the argument and she pushes her way to the kitchen, finding Brittany and Quinn glaring at each other, both blonde's going silent when they see the brunette._

_"Hey Santana" Brittany murmurs quietly, brushing tears from her face while Quinn glares at her._

_"What's going on?" Santana asks, looking between the two girls and noticing the glazed, drunken, angry look in Quinn's eyes and feeling disappointment rising in her chest._

_"Quinn's a little upset, she accused me of still being in love with you and started throwing crap" Brittany bites out, "She's not good enough for you Santana, can't you see that? She's a psycho" she adds, gesturing at the mess of broken glass around her as Santana steps closer to her._

_"You don't know what you're talking about" The latina replies forcefully, "I'm sorry about what happened tonight and I'm sure Quinn will be too once she's sobered up but you do not get to talk about her like that, she's more than good enough for me and she actually gives a damn about me. That's a lot more than I can say about you, let's go Quinn" Santana orders firmly, holding out her hand for her girlfriend to take. The latina leads the blonde out of Puckerman's house, feeling relieved that Sofia had listened to her and stayed put. "Let's go" she says as they walk passed the younger latina._

"Quinn, tell me what's going on baby girl" Santana pleads as she takes her wife into her arms, the blonde crying into her shoulder. "You gotta talk to me, I can't help if you don't"

"I lost my job Santana, there's nothing you can do to help" Quinn cries, pulling back to look at her wife's face. "They're downsizing and I lost my job" Santana feels her heart break at the look of dispair on the blonde's face, her beautiful eyes filled with tears that won't stop falling.

"Baby I'm so sorry, it'll be alright. We'll find you an even better firm, a firm that would be lucky to have you on their team. I promise you" Santana murmurs sincerely into Quinn's ear.

"I'm sorry for breaking the rules today San, I just felt so lost and I'm just so sorry" the blonde sobs to her wife.

"It's ok baby, we'll deal with that later. Right now I want you to listen to me, okay?" Santana waits until Quinn nods before continuing. "You're having health problems Sweetie, you'll walk into another job...you'll get a good reference from the firm because you are amazing at your job. You've never so much as even been late before, this could be a good thing baby girl. A clean break with a different company, a company that'll you will be in charge of one day, okay?" The latina smiles softly when Quinn nods and she studies the blonde's face, ensuring that she is taking everything on board.

"Can we go home please?" Quinn asks in a small voice, glancing at her wife's tanned face, realising that there is no longer any anger in her eyes. Santana nods, placing an arm around the blonde's waist and walking with her to say goodbye to their friends.

_**I had to split this chapter in half, there's a lot going on in the rest of the flashback and I wanted to use the next chapter to completely focus on that. Let me know what you think and I'll have the next chapter up as soon as possible. Thanks for reading :)**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**I tried to get this chapter posted quickly but it was a really hard chapter to write. All reviews are welcome.**_

_**Flashbacks are in italics which is uh...the whole chapter.**_

_**For my friends and readers :)**_

Chapter 14

_Santana sighs as she helps her cousin into the backseat of the car, turning to find Quinn walking away from the car. She groans, motioning for Sofia to stay where she is before storming after her girlfriend, muttering angrily in spanish. The latina easily catches up with the blonde, having the advantage of being sober and she grabs onto her arm, halting her in her tracks._

_"Quinn, get in the car" Santana tells her firmly, keeping her hand wrapped around her girlfriend's wrist. "Quinn..." the latina falters as she sees the look on the blonde's face. She expected hurt, anger, sadness but not this, not blank. She studies her girlfriend, growing more worred at the girl's catatonic like state. "Sweetheart, please come back to the car. We'll go home and we'll go to bed and talk about everything in the morning" Santana's voice is soft as she gently pulls on Quinn's arm, trying to guide her back towards the car. The paler girl pulls her arm out of the brunette's grasp, sitting down on the edge of the sidewalk, pulling her jacket closer to her body._

_"Brittany's right" she murmurs so quietly that Santana has to strain to hear the words, "I'm not good enough for you, not for anybody. I wasn't good enough for my parents, they kicked me out for getting pregnant, I got another chance and I blew it again" she whimpers, emotion finally showing on her face as tears leak from her hazel eyes._

_"Baby" Santana whispers, crouching down to face Quinn, placing her hands on the other girl's knees."Brittany is wrong, I promise you she's wrong, wrong and out of order. Your parents are the ones that aren't good enough for you, they threw you out for being gay, something that isn't a choice. Quinn you are an amazing person, you're beautiful and kind and you've been through so much but you've battled through it, I'm proud to have you as my girlfriend" The passion behind the latina's words surprises Quinn and she looks up into the dark eyes of the young woman who had done so much for her, the one who stuck by her, the one she is falling in love with._

_"I don't want to drag you down with me"Quinn whispers, looking away from her girlfriend's intense gaze. "I don't want you to hate me" Santana gently cups the blonde's face in her hands, forcing her to look back at her as she presses a soft kiss to her lips._

_"I would never hate you and you're not dragging me anywhere. Things are going to get better sweetheart and I'm gonna be there every step of the way, I swear to you. Just please, come back to the car and we can talk at home where it's warm" Santana pleads, smiling softly when Quinn nods, allowing the latina to help her stand._

_"I didn't know Sofia was here" Quinn says softly as she notices the younger latina for the first time, the girl watching them from the back seat of Santana's car. "Has she been drinking?" Santana nods as she walks her girlfriend to the front passenger door, opening it and helping her into the seat before closing the door and turning to walk to the other side of the car. She stops in her tracks as she sees Brittany standing a few metres away, having just clearly watched the whole scene. The tall blonde takes a hesitant step forward, her eyes locking with the latina's, a curious look on her face._

_"Now now" Santana states firmly, walking to the driver's side door, Brittany grabbing her hand, causing the brunette to spin around, glaring up at the taller girl. "I said not now Brittany!"_

_"Why are you doing this San? You told me you loved me..why are you with Quinn?" The latina feels her anger flare up at both the question and by Brittany's audacity to ask it._

_"Yeah that's right, I told you before the summer that I loved you and you told me you loved me back but then stayed with Wheels. I had to watch you two together while I felt like complete shit but now I've moved on. You don't get a say in who I'm dating and you do not get to say anything about Quinn, you don't know what you're talking about" Santana snaps, stepping forward as Brittany takes a nervous step back, not used to the latina showing anger towards her._

_"San..."_

_"No, shut up" Santana interrupts, "You don't even know the half of what Quinn has gone through and what you said was out of order. I wanted to be friends with you but that will only ever happen if you show some goddamn respect to my relationship with Quinn, unless you do that...you can stay the hell away from me" The latina spits out, fire in her eyes as she turns away from the blonde who used to be her life and climbs into the car, refusing eye contact with the other girls and pulls away from Puck's house._

_0-00-0_

_Quinn slumps onto the sofa as she listens to Santana and Sofia arguing in spanish in the kitchen, her already irate girlfriend growing even more frustrated as she yells at her cousin. The blonde sips her bottle of water than the latina had given her, along with a firm order to wait there, thinking about the night's events, hearing Santana's passionate pleas, Brittany's words playing over the top of them. She knows the dancer is right, she isn't good enough for Santana, why is Santana even helping her? Why is she with her when she could have the now single Brittany? Quinn stifles a sob, knowing that her latina would get bored and go back to the other blonde, knowing that it would be the best thing for Santana. She pushes herself up from the sofa, deciding against having a talk with the brunette, not wanting to cause anymore pain that she already has and makes her way upstairs._

_"Quinn, is it cool if I crash with you tonight, the brat's gonna sleep in my room and..." Santana trails off as she realises the livingroom is empty. She sighs, wishing the blonde would have just stayed put like she asked her to. "She probably headed straight to bed" she says to Sofia who has followed her from the kitchen._

_"Are you gonna tell my mom?" Sofia asks with trepadition, looking up at her older cousin. Santana studies her for a second before shaking her head._

_"No but If I see you at one more of those parties, I will kick your ass, got it?" Sofia nods, hugging the older latina. Santana sighs, hugging the girl back and pressing a soft kiss to her head. "It's almost four, go to bed and I'll drive you home later" she tells her, watching as the fourteen year old leaves the room. The brunette locks up the house and turns all the downstairs lights off before heading up to Quinn's room, finding the room empty. Santana heads to the bathroom, knocking lightly on the door. "Quinn? Can I crash with you? Sofia's in my bed and she talks in her sleep"_

_"Yeah that's fine" Quinn calls through the door and Santana frowns at how strained her girlfriend's voice is._

_"Are you okay?" she asks in concern, not receiving an answer. "Quinn I'm coming" she states, pushing down on the handle, glad that she hadn't gotten around to fixing the lock on the bathroom door._

_"No...wait!" Quinn yells out and Santana feels her heart break into pieces as she takes in the sight in front of her. The crimson liquid dripping down Quinn's forearm as she sits on the edge of the bath catching her attention, the glint of the razor in Quinn's other hand forcing her into action. Rushing forward, the latina knocks the razor from her girlfriend's hand and grabs a towel, pressing it against the cut on the blonde's arm. She grabs the first aid kit from the cabinet, while holding the towel against the wound with her other hand. Quinn silently weeps as Santana cleans and inspects her arm, fear and sadness etched on her tanned face. The latina wraps a bandage around pale skin before silently cleaning up the drops of blood from the floor. Quinn keeps her gaze trained on her knees, feeling Santana's eyes on her, feeling warm arms wrap around her and hold her tightly, a warm tear that isn't her own falling onto her shoulder. The blonde falls into the embrace, allowing herself to be held._

_**Let me know what you guys think, I had a hard time writing Quinn's thoughts about her relationship with Santana but I hope it comes across the way I meant it.**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you for all of the amazing reviews!**_

_**As usual, flashbacks are in italics.**_

_**For K and Squishy :)**_

Chapter 15

Santana rolls her eyes as the creepy man from the floor below them steps onto the elevator with them, not being in the least bit careful with his leering as his eyes ran up and down Quinn's body, a smirk plastered on his face. The latina moves her body to stand slightly in front of her wife, her protective and possesive nature kicking in as she scowls at the man, smirking when he drops his gaze. Lacing her fingers through Quinn's, she looks over at her, the woman's eyes are lowered and she's fighting tears again. Santana sighs in relief as the man gets out, the silence becoming more comfortable during the last few seconds in the elevator. They step out when they reach their floor and the blonde follows her wife to their apartment, slipping in the door before the latina and heading straight to the bathroom, not missing the fact that Santana immediately follows her, holding silky blonde hair as Quinn retches over the toilet.

"You're alright baby girl" the latina murmurs, using her free hand to softly rub her wife's back. Quinn pushes herself backwards to sit on the floor after emptying her stomach of all the wine she consumed. Santana holds a wash cloth under the cold tap, squeezes it out and hands it to the blonde, Quinn gratefully accepting it and wiping her face. The brunette postions herself behind the other woman, placing a leg either side of her and holding her from behind while laying her chin on the blonde's shoulder.

"I'm sorry" Quinn whispers, leaning back into the latina's embrace.

"About what?" Santana questions, wanting to know exactly why her wife felt guilty, needing to know if losing her job was part of it, hoping that it isn't.

"About breaking the rules, I just felt so bad about losing my job" the blonde whispers, wiping away the stray tear that escapes her watery eyes.

"You accept that you need to be punished, right?" Santana asks, feeling Quinn nod against her, "And you know that it's for breaking rule number four? You're not being punished for losing your job, you know what right?" The latina lets out a sigh filled with both relief and annoyance as her wife nods again. "Quinn..?" she pushes, expecting a verbal response.

"Yes Ma'am, I understand" she replies, feeling her stomach churn, unsure if it's due to the assurance of punishment or from the need to vomit again. They sit on the bathroom floor for another few minutes until Santana eventually stands up, holding a tanned hand out for her wife to take and helping her stand up.

"Alright, well you're in no condition for it to happen tonight so I think we should just go to bed, we'll deal with everything in the morning" The latina states, leading her wife to their bedroom, Quinn instantly slumping down onto their bed. Santana gently pulls the blonde's jeans off for her and pulls back the duvet while Quinn rolls under it. Covering the other woman back up, she leans down and presses a soft loving kiss to her pink lips before leaving to lock up the apartment.

_Santana lets out a quiet sigh as she watches Quinn sleep from her place on the desk chair, the only time the hazel eyed beauty ever really looked peaceful. Her gaze drops down to the porcelain arm that is hanging out from under the duvet, wincing as her dark eyes trail over the bandage she had wrapped around Quinn's arms only a few hours ago. She prays that it was the first time her girlfriend had marked herself, begging whichever deity is listening for it to be the last. Santana wonders what she did wrong, why would Quinn do this to herself instead of coming to her? Sighing, she stands up, stretching out her limbs which ache from exhaustion before carefully sliding into bed with her girlfriend and curling into her from behind, protectively wrapping an arm around the sleeping her exhaustion, she can't bring herself to fall asleep, her mind working overtime as all the worst case scenarios jump out at her. What if Quinn wakes up before she does, what if she's in too deep of a sleep to realise the blonde is getting out of bed, too deep of a sleep to protect her from herself. Santana thinks of all the sharp objects in the house, so many instruments that Quinn can use if she chooses to. Pulling away from her girlfriend, she forces herself to get back out of bed, carefully so as to not wake the sleeping girl. The Latina grabs o e of the still empty storage boxes, due to Quinn's lack of possessions, heading straight to the bathroom. She grabs the pack of razors from the mirrored cabinet, throwing it into the box before wrapping tissue around the still blood covered razor that lays in the bin. The brunette makes her way downstairs, placing the box on the worktop and throwing the tissue wrapped razor into the bin. Tying the bin bag in a knot as she walks to the front door, she quietly unlocks it and walks down the drive and places the bag in the trash can before making her way back into the house and locking up 's almost light out when she finishes packing every sharp object she can find into the box, doing a final sweep of the house before clasping the lid into place. She checks her watch, frowning as she sees it's almost seven. Opening all the cupboards in the kitchen, she pulls out any painkillers she can find, even grabbing a bottle of cough mixture and opening the box to place them in. Sighing, the Latina heaves the box down to the basement, placing it in the most hidden corner and slumping down against the wall. Sobs wrack through her body as she draws her legs up and cries into her knees, struggling to remain quiet. Hiccups rip through as she gulps in air, the fear and sadness she feels finally taking its toll on her. She hates herself for failing Quinn, hates Brittany for deepening the girl's insecurities and hates the Fabrays for breaking the girl she is falling in love with._

_"Tana?" her whips up at the sound of Sofia's voice, the younger latina looking down at her from the top of the basement stairs, a look of concern on her features. "What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing sweetie, I'm just doing some chores, I couldn't sleep" Sofia looks unconvinced at her older cousin's response, her deep brown eyes narrowing as she studies Santana._

_"You were crying" she states, making her way down the steps, the cold stone chilling her bare feet is the last thing on her mind as she takes in the usually impeccable looking latina's dishevelled appearance. "Is someone hurt?" she asks, crouching down to look Santana in the eye._

_"No, everything's fine. You should be in bed, go back there" Santana tells her in what she hopes is a firm tone, knowing that it probably sounds much weaker than she wants it to._

_"I needed some painkillers but I couldn't find any" Sofia says, still suspiciously watching her cousin._

_"Uh there isn't any" Santana replies simply, not wanting to explain why they were all hidden away. "Just take some water and try and get more sleep, maybe this will teach you not to get wasted at fourteen years old" she adds. "Now Sofia" The young teen rolls her eyes and straightens up, giving Santana a look that clearly says this won't be the last of her questioning. She looks back at the older girl as she reaches the top of the stairs before leaving Santana alone in the basement with her thoughts._

**Posting this a little earlier than I planned due to lack of sleep (again) Hope you liked it. Drop me a review to let me know what you think.**


	16. Chapter 16

**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**

**The support for this story has been so overwhelming, reading the reviews every morning just starts my day off perfectly, thank you!**

**Flashbacks are in Italics.**

**For K, H and Squishy :)**

Chapter 16

_Santana sighs heavily as she pushes herself up from the basement floor and brushes herself down. Making her way up the steps, she locks the door behind her and shuffles into the kitchen, turning the coffee machine on before slumping down into a chair. She knows it will be pointless trying to sleep now as she rubs her stinging eyes. The Latina decides that putting off going to bed until she has a chat with Quinn will be the best thing to do, not knowing how the girl will be feeling when she wakes up. Grabbing a mug she pours her coffee and wanders into the livingroom and sits on the armchair that her dad usually occupies, wishing that her parents were here to help her. Santana picks up the remote control and idly surfs the channels, settling on a re-run of an old comedy._

_"San?" The Latina jerks awake to see her cousin standing over here. She looks at the clock and realises she has been out for a few hours. "Are you okay?"_

_"Yeah, I'm fine. Is Quinn awake?" she asks anxiously, rubbing the sleep from her eyes and heaving herself up from the chair._

_"Not yet, she was pretty wasted. She'll probably out for another few hours. What's going on with you?" Sofia asks, watching her older cousin curiously._

_"I told you, I'm fine. Do you want something to eat?" Santana avoids eye contact with the younger girl, brushing passed her to walk to the kitchen, picking her cold cup of coffee up from the table on her way._

_"I'm good, I had toast although I did have to spread the butter with a spoon. Where are all the knives?"_

_"Sofia, give me a chance to wake up properly before you start interrogating me again!" Santana snaps, surprising the other girl. "The only person who needs to explain themselves is you" she adds, easily deflecting the attention away from her._

_"I made fresh coffee for you" Sofia mumbles before leaving the kitchen dejectedly, Santana immediately feeling guilty._

_Quinn rolls over onto her side, wincing as the simple action causes her head to throb. She cracks her eyes open to look at the clock, noting that it's almost eleven. Grabbing the bottle of water that Santana had obviously left her, she gratefully gulps the cool liquid down, finishing the bottle. The blonde forces herself to sit up, noticing the bandage wrapped around her arm. She flinches as the memories of the night before come rushing back to her, Brittany's words echoing in her head, followed by Santana's reassurances. Tears fill her eyes as she pictures the latina's broken expression as she took care of her, remembering the sound of her soft cries as she held her. Trying to ignore her aching hangover, she forces herself out of bed, realising that Santana must have changed her into her pajamas at some point. As she reaches the bottom of the stairs, Quinn realises that she doesn't know what she is going to say to her girlfriend, what could she say? Nothing would chance what had happened. The blonde finds Santana in the kitchen, the Latina looking up as the floor squeaks, announcing her entrance._

_"Hey" Quinn says lamely, standing awkwardly in the doorway. Santana stands up and walks forward, pulling the girl into her arms. The latina holds her girlfriend tighter as she feels her starts to shake, hearing the quiet sobs escaping her mouth, wishing she knew what to say to her. Guiding her to one of the kitchen chairs, she sits next to her, keeping an arm around her, waiting for the blonde to speak first. She notices Sofia lingering in the doorway with concern written on her face and she silently motions for her to go back to the livingroom, glad when the girl does. "I'm sorry" Quinn murmurs, finally looking into the latina's eyes. "For hurting you" she adds._

_"The only reason I'm hurting is because you are, do you understand that?" Santana asks, studying the blonde's face. Quinn nods but the latina spots the hesitance behind it and she takes one of the other girl's hands into both of her own, enveloping it as she gazes at the blonde. "I wouldn't have brought you into my home if I didn't care, I wouldn't be fighting to protect you from yourself if I didn't care and If I didn't think you were worth it then I wouldn't love you as much as I do, both as my friend and my girlfriend" she says evenly, watching Quinn's face as the girl looks at her in surprise._

_"You love me?" Quinn asks in a whisper._

_"Yes. I don't need to hear you say it back, I understand that you may not feel the same just yet. What I do need to hear you say, is that you won't hurt yourself again and I need you to mean it" Santana swallows the lump in her throat as she finishes her speech, waiting for Quinn to say something back._

_"I do feel the same" she replies, unable to bring herself to use the actual words that have so rarely been said to her in the past. "I do and I promise to try" Quinn adds in a hushed tone. "I can't explain it San, I wish I could but I don't why I did it and I wish that it didn't make me feel better but it did. I want to get better, I just...I really want to get better" tears fall from her hazel eyes again as Santana pulls her into a comforting hug, rubbing her back soothingly._

_"Do you trust me to help you?" the latina asks quietly, relaxing slightly as she feels Quinn nod. She pulls back to look into the blonde's eyes. "Do you trust me enough to still use the rules?"_

_"I do" Quinn murmurs, "Are you gonna punish me?"_

_"For cutting yourself? No.I believe that you were subconsciously punishing yourself last night, I could be wrong but that's how it looks to me honey. I will not punish you for that"_

_"What about what happened before that? When I got drunk" Quinn mumbles, averting her gaze to the floor as she blushes._

_"We can talk about that after we've taken Sofia home, I'd rather we had some privacy so could you go put something warm on to wear in the car please?" Quinn nods and leaves the room, knowing that Santana would not agree to her staying here on her own if she asked. The latina sighs, leaning back in her chair and feeling more exhausted than ever as she waits for Quinn to come back down. She knows that she needs to call her parents, they wouldn't be impressed to come home and find out that Quinn's mental health had taken a nose-dive without someone informing them. Santana decides to call them once Sofia is gone, realising that she needs their support if she really wants to help Quinn._

**Drop me a review to let me know what you think, I have the next chapter planned out so I hope to have it up soon. Thanks for reading :)**_  
><em> 


	17. Chapter 17

**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**

**Thank you for all of the reviews, I love reading them all :)**

**Flashbacks are in italics.**

Chapter 17

It's still dark outside when Quinn wakes up, wrapped in Santana's arms. She gently turns to face her sleeping wife, her tanned features peaceful, her pouty lips parted slightly. The aching in the blonde's head serves as a harsh reminder of her actions the night before, guilt hitting her like a steam train as she remembers throwing back glass after glass of wine, ignoring her wife's warnings. The picture of the hurt in Santana's face underneath all the anger settles in her mind, the memory of the latina's kindness and love in the bathroom pushing more guilt into her body. She feels bile build in her throat and she throws the covers back, waking Santana in the process and darts to the bathroom, emptying her stomach for the second time in less than twelve hours. Quinn doesn't realise Santana had followed her until she feels the latina's hand rubbing up and down her back, the other hand pulling her hair back as she heaves into the toilet. Santana gives her wife a few minutes to catch her breath before standing up, opening the shower door and turning the shower on, watching out of the corner of her eye as Quinn pushes herself off of the floor, shuffles over to the bath and sits on the edge of it. The latina adjusts the temperature of the water and walks over to her wife.

"A shower will make you feel better" she states, Quinn nodding in response and allowing Santana to pull her t'shirt over her head and help her to her feet. The blonde steps out of her underwear and ducks under the hot water as Santana discards her own clothes and joins her, more to ensure that her wife's shaky legs don't fail her and cause her to fall than anything else.

_The drive to Santana's aunt's house is quiet apart from the barely audible throb of the radio, each girl too lost in their own thoughts to try and maintain a conversation. Sofia glances at the two older girls in the front of the car, knowing that something serious is goin on but unable to work out what it is. She decides against asking her older cousin again after Santana had threatened to tell her Mom about her whereabouts the night before the last time she asked, as they were getting into the younger Latina catches her cousin's gaze in the mirror for a second and notes to herself how tired she looks. Santana breaks the eye contact, focusing back on the road and Sofia shifts her attention to the blonde in the passenger seat. Quinn is staring down at her hands that are folded in her lap, remaining motionless for the rest of the journey, only looking up to say goodbye to the girl with a broken smile that doesn't reach her eyes. Santana waits until Sofia is in the house before using her aunty's driveway to turn the car, driving back the way she came and sending concerned glances to Quinn, frowning at the silent turmoil written on her beautiful features._

_"Are you mad at me? For hurting myself?" Quinn asks in a small voice as they reach their street. Santana sighs quietly, pulling the car into the driveway and taking the keys from the ignition before turning in her seat to face the blonde._

_"No. I know you must have been feeling something that I can't understand, something strong enough to make you want to punish yourself. I'm mad at myself for not realising that before you could do it." the Latina replies honestly. "But" she continues and Quinn steels herself, "I am mad that you were drinking last night. I won't ever be mad or disappointed with you for how you're feeling but I will be when you break one of the rules that we agreed on and I think we need to go inside and discuss everything properly" Quinn nods her agreement, pushing open the door and silently following the Latina up to the house. The blonde slumps down onto the sofa as soon as she enters the livingroom, watching as Santana settles into the armchair opposite her, noticing a change in the latina's demeanour. The sad tired look replaced with a set jaw and fiery eyes, strength radiating from her as she looks back at Quinn stern eyes. The blonde feels the pit of her stomach clench at the change in her girlfriend._

_"San..." she starts, falling silent as Santana shakes her head, urging Quinn to remain quiet. The brunette sighs, studying her girlfriend for a few minutes, surprising even herself at her own determination and self control._

_"I'm calling my parents tonight, they need to know about the cutting and I want to help you but I can't do it on my own. This isn't me giving up on you, this is me asking for help, I can't do it myself, not the cutting. Do you understand?" Santana watches Quinn carefully, "Verbal answers Quinn, it's that kind of talk" she adds when the blonde nods. _

_"Yes ma'am, I understand" _

_"Good. So let's talk about the rest of last night's events. What rule did you break?" The brunette questions, her dark eyes never leaving her girlfriend's hazel ones. _

_"I will not consume alcohol until I am fully recovered, ma'am" Quinn recites from memory, feeling her stomach clench again with nerves as she waits for the Latina to continue. _

_"That's right. I think last night proves that the rule is needed. Drinking alcohol when you're in the wrong state of mind can be dangerous. Do you remember what I said the last time you broke a rule?" _

_"That you wouldn't be as lenient the next time it happened" Quinn responds, her heart skipping a beat as she waits for Santana to continue. _

_"I think this time is much more serious, I don't think going to bed early is going to cut it this time. In the hospital, I told you that I would spank you if I had to and to be honest I feel like the this time, I have to" Santana tells the other girl bluntly, noticing the blonde's breath hitch. "But I don't do it without your permission, the rules state that I punish you in a way that I feel is necessary. I'm asking you now to tell me if you want to continue with the arrangement, this doesn't mean that I don't want to keep our agreement, I do but only if you allow it" Quinn stares at the tanned girl, knowing that she needs the latina to help her, knowing that she needs the arrangement to keep her from hitting rock bottom. A tear escapes from her hazel eyes as she realises that she already has hit rock bottom, her antics the night before stopping her girlfriend from catching her but now Santana is trying to pick her back up and she the overwhelming love coming from the latina hits her like a freight train._

_"I trust you" Quinn states simply, Santana moving forward and enveloping her in a warm embrace. "I love you" she adds in a murmur._

_"I love you too honey, so damn much and I promise you that everything will get better"_

**Ended up cutting this chapter in half as it was getting very long. Drop me a review to let me know what you think and I'll do my best to get the next chapter up as soon as possible.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, I truly appreciate them all!**

**I've said this on a couple of my fics now but I am sorry about the delay and I really will be working much harder to update quicker :) R&R please.**

**Flashbacks are in Italics.**

Chapter 18

_Quinn pulls back from Santana's embrace to look deep into her dark eyes, seeing and feeling the love and dedication that radiates from them. She feels her stomach twist in anticipation as the reality of the situation sinks in. Santana studies her girlfriend's face, noticing the apprehension on her features. Sighing softly, the Latina removes her arms from around Quinn's body, choosing to hold onto one of her pale hands instead._

_"Why don't you go for a shower and I'll make you something to eat. We can deal with your rule breaking when you're feeling a little less hungover" Santana says, Quinn nodding in agreement, a blush spreading across her face._

_"Do you have any painkillers? My head is throbbing" Quinn asks quietly. Santana nods, pulling a pack of Alka Seltzer from her pocket and walking to the sink to pour some water into a glass. She drops two tablets into the water before handing the glass to Quinn, waiting patiently while the blonde drinks it. Quinn doesn't miss the fact that Santana has put the pack back into her pocket, knowing that the Latina is being cautious with her. "I'll go shower" she mumbles, placing the now empty glass into the sink._

_"Keep the bathroom door open a crack please" Santana states, satisfied with her retreating girlfriend's listens as Quinn makes her way upstairs, waiting until she hears the shower start before moving over to the fridge. She pulls out the pack of bacon that she bought specifically for Quinn and pulls out a frying pan from the cupboard, throwing a few rashers into it. Santana places the pan onto the smallest range on the cooker and turn to find her cell phone. Sighing, she realises she left it upstairs and she turns the cooker off before walking up to Quinn's bedroom. She spots her iPhone on the night stand and she grabs it, leaving Quinn's room to go and continue making breakfast. She freezes at the top of the stairs, a heart-wrenching sob coming from the bathroom causing panic to rise in her chest. Her feet carry her to the door before she even realises it and she knocks on the slightly ajar door._

_"Quinn?" she calls out shakily, her heart thumping in her chest. "Quinn, can I come in?" Santana waits until she hears her girlfriend's quiet broken voice give her permission before she rushes in. The latina's heart feels like it has broken in half as she takes in the sight of Quinn sitting on the floor of the shower, knees drawn up to her knees as she cries. "Oh honey" The brunette murmurs, opening the shower door and kneeling under the warm spray of water to wrap her arms around the blonde's shaking body. The fact that she is fully clothed and that this is the first time she has seen her girlfriend without clothes doesn't even enter her mind as she comforts the sobbing girl. "You're okay baby girl, I've got you" she whispers soothingly into Quinn's ear. "I'm here". Santana reaches up, turning the shower off and grabbing the nearest towel as she pulls the blonde up, wrapping the towel around her, guiding her out of the bathroom and into her bedroom. "Have a seat" she murmurs, gently pushing Quinn onto her bed and walking over to the closet, quickly stripping her wet clothes off and changing into some dry ones. Quinn keeps her eyes downcast as the latina changes, suddenly aware of her own state of undress._

_"I'm sorry" Quinn whispers softly when her girlfriend sits next to her._

_"Because you're upset? Don't be" the latina responds kindly. "Do you want to tell me what is upsetting you? If it's because you've changed your mind about the arrangement then you can tell me baby girl" Santana adds in mild panic, thinking she is responsible for the blonde's breakdown in the shower._

_"I haven't changed my mind, It's not that" Quinn tells her quickly. "I can't even take painkillers on my own, I'm not upset that you did that, I'm glad you did because I feel like I don't even know myself right now and I'm so scared!" she exclaims, fresh tears leaking from her hazel eyes as she leans against the latina, Santana's arms instantly wrapping around her, her dark damp hair falling onto Quinn's bare shoulder. The warm, silent embrace, the scent that is strictly Santana comforts the blonde as she buries her face in the crook of the brunette's neck, sobs calming to sniffles._

_"I'll always protect you, even from yourself" Santana states, shifting slightly to press a soft kiss to the other girl's head. "I will always be here" she adds in a determined voice, "Always"_

0-00-0

Quinn sips her water, glancing over at her wife who is sitting opposite her, her dark eyes watching the blonde in concern. Quinn gives her a small smile as she picks up her piece of toast, taking a small bite out of it as Santana makes a start on her own breakfast, still watching her wife out of the corner of her eye as she spoons cereal into her mouth. Relief courses through her when she sees Quinn continue to eat her toast, glad that it didn't have to be a battle. They eat in a comfortable silence, the only sound in the room is the clinking of Santana's spoon against her bowl and the ticking of the clock above the kitchen door. The latina finishes eating first, standing up and taking her bowl to the sink and washing it, mainly just to give herself something to do. Tears sting the corner of her eyes as she scrubs the bowl more than is necessary, trying to swallow the sudden lump in her throat, her bottom lip quivering as she fights to hold back the sobs threatening to escape. She jumps when she feels Quinn's hand on her back, forcing herself not to look at her wife, to stay strong. Quinn turns the tap off, pulling the sponge from a tanned hand and dumping it into the sink, gently prying her wife's fingers from the bowl.

"Hey" Quinn says softly, her hand cupping the latina's face, urging her to face her. She takes in her wife's expression, her tear filled eyes, her brow furrowed with the effort to not cry. "Let it out" she murmurs, taking her into her arms as Santana's face crumples, tears streaming down her beautiful face, sobs wracking her body. She patiently holds her, waiting until her sobs turn to soft hiccups before gently pulling her to sit back at the table, keeping her tanned hands wrapped in her paler ones as sits facing her. Quinn struggles to ignore the guilt coursing through her body, knowing that her wife is worrying about her.

"I'm sorry" Santana sniffles, lifting her hand from Quinn's to wipe the tears from her cheeks, feeling ridiculous.

"No, I'm sorry" Quinn murmurs, "I'll do better, I promise"

"I'm scared Quinn, I'm scared of losing you. Losing you like I almost did all those years ago. Do you think I like punishing you? I hate it but I'll do it every damn day if it means I get to have you" Santana tells her, her dark passionate eyes boring into Quinn's. "You need to promise me that you will always tell me when you need help" she adds.

"I promise San, I really do" The blonde swears, leaning forward to press a chaste kiss to her wife's pouty lips.

"I just need you to try, I know you'll slip up but I need to know that you're trying" Quinn nods at her wife's words.

"I'll always try" she promises, both to Santana and to herself.

"Thank you" the brunette whispers with relief, slumping back into her chair. They sit in silence, both women thinking about what just happened. Santana glances at her wife's face, seeing guilt written all over it, knowing that the punishment needs to happen soon before the guilt builds up and becomes too much for Quinn. "I need you to go and get ready for your spanking" she states, "I'll be there in ten minutes" she adds, Quinn nodding and quietly pushing her chair back and standing up, leaving the kitchen with her stomach in knots over the upcoming punishment. Santana watches her leave before standing up and walking over to the sink, turning the cold tap on and splashing her face with water, grabbing the nearby dish-towel to dry her face. She leans against the counter, watching the clock and listening as Quinn moves around in the other room, not moving even after the movements still, Quinn clearly already in the corner, waiting until her instincts tell her to go.

**Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think, if my reviews reach 110 then I promise an extra long chapter by the end of the week. :)**


	19. Chapter 19

**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**

**My reviews jumped up massively after the last chapter so here is a longer chapter for you all. Thank you for reviewing!**

**Flashbacks are in Italics.**

**Thank you to H for being my rock right now!**

Chapter 19

_Santana lets out a low sigh as she places the phone back onto the cradle, running a hand through her jet black hair as she walks back to the livingroom. She can feel Quinn's gaze on her as she walks over to the window, pulling the curtains closed and switching the lamp on before sitting down next to Quinn on the sofa. Santana notices her girlfriend's nervous fidgeting and she reaches over, taking her pale hand into her own tanned one. Hazel eyes meet dark brown, no words are needed, the request being received loud and clear, the latina nodding._

_"Go grab a chair from the kitchen please" Santana requests in a firm tone, letting out her own shaky breath as her girlfriend makes her way to the kitchen. She forces herself to stay strong, knowing that this is what Quinn both needs and wants, she can comfort her afterwards, right now she has to be firm. She stands up when Quinn returns, pointing to the spot in the front of the sofa, satisfied when the blonde places the chair down. The latina sits down, looking up at her girlfriend and pushing all her fears and insecurities about punishing her girlfriend to the back of her mind. "Why am I about to spank you?" Santana questions, watching the blush spread across the other girl's face._

_"Because I broke rule number four, I will not consume alcohol until I am back to full health" Quinn replies, seeing the list of rules everytime she opened her closet had ingrained them in her memory. Santana nods, satisfied. She pats her lap, indicating where she wanted her girlfriend and Quinn awkwardly lowers herself over the latina's knees, Santana holding her arm to help guide her over. The blonde feels her embarrassment rise at the vulnerable position, Santana's warm hand laying on her behind, rubbing softly._

_"Because this is the first time, I'm only going to use my hand. The next time you break one of the big rules, you'll feel the back of my hairbrush Quinn. You got me?" the latina asks sternly, surprising herself at how easily she is falling into her new role._

_"Yes Ma'am" Quinn murmurs, bracing herself as she feels Santana's hand lift from her backside. The first spank causes her to jump, not from the pain but from the reality that this is really happening. The latina brings her hand down again and again, the first being no more than gentle taps, setting into an easy rhythm, one buttock then the other. She gradually makes the smacks firmer, Quinn starting to wriggle as the spanks start to feel uncomfortable, not yet painful but serving to warm up the area. Santana watches her girlfriend carefully, guaging her reactions as she continues to spank her, stopping briefly to peel the blonde's sweatpants down to the back of her knees. Quinn bucks as the latina brings her hand down onto her panty clad behind, shocked at how much protection the sweatpants had offered, now feeling each spank much more. Santana remains silent as she focuses on the undersides of each globe, ensuring that Quinn would be reminded of her punishment everytime she sits down for the next little while. Tears sting hazel eyes as she does her best to not wriggle, to stay underneath her girlfriend's punishing hand, the heat starting to build up, the flesh becoming more tender with each swat._

_"Alright Quinn, I'm going to take your panties down now" Santana states, a sniffle is the only response. Taking this as a sign to continue, she hooks her fingers into the cottom waistband and draws them down to meet the blonde's sweatpants, revealing pink skin that is warm to touch. She continues the spanking on her girlfriend's bare bottom, harder than before, the room filled with the sound of her hand striking the bare skin and soft cries leaving Quinn's lips, the girl starting to struggle. Santana lifts her leg over both of Quinn's flailing ones, holding her in position and presenting her backside as a more accessible target. Her palm starts to sting as she puts more muscle into the spanks,her eyes noticing her girlfriend's back heave with unreleased sobs, knowing that the girl needed to be pushed over the edge, Santana puts most of her strength into smacking her hand against the twin globes. Quinn chokes out a pained cry as the heat in her backside builds further, becoming untoleratable. An extra hard spank to the bottom of her cheeks breaks the dam and the tears start to flow from her hazel eyes, sobs ripping from her throat as she openly cries, not even noticing that Santana has stopped spanking her until she feels the latina's hand rubbing soothing circles on her back, the other hand gently caressing the hot flesh of her backside._

_"It's okay baby, it's over. It's over" Santana murmurs, swallowing the lump in her own throat at the sound of Quinn's despair. She looks down at the reddened skin underneath her hand, still feeling the sting on her palm and knowing that the blonde must be in a lot of pain. She can no longer stop the tears that leak from her dark eyes, hating that the girl she loves is in pain, hating that she caused it. She helps a struggling Quinn to her feet, standing up with her and looking into her wet swollen eyes, ready to apologise and beg for forgiveness until she hears the words that leaves her girlfriend's mouth._

_"Thank you" Quinn chokes, throwing herself into the latina's arms, sobbing into the raven haired girl's shoulder. Santana feels relief ripple through her as she wraps her arms around her crying girlfriend, knowing now that she has done the right thing, for both Quinn and their relationship. She guides the well punished blonde to the sofa, sitting down and helping Quinn get comfortable, Quinn choosing to lay down on her side, her head in Santana's lap as her sobs calm into sniffles. The latina pulls the blanket that hangs over the back of the sofa down, laying it over Quinn's naked bottom half, stroking the silky blonde hair in her lap. Leaning down, she presses soft kiss to her girlfriend's temple, her lips lingering for a moment before she settles back against the sofa, softly singing in a quiet tone as Quinn drifts off to sleep. "I love you" the blonde whispers sleepily._

_"I love you too baby girl" Santana responds, a tender smile gracing her full lips._

_0-00-0_

_Quinn rolls onto her back as she wakes up, letting out a pained yelp when her weight presses her backside into the sofa cushions. Santana's eyes flutter open and she looks over at the clock, noting that they had been asleep for over an hour. Looking down at the girl who is repositioning herself back onto her side, an embarrassed expression on her features, Santana smiles softly at how adorable the blonde looks. Her fingers brush through Quinn's soft hair as she watches the other teenager rub sleep from her eyes._

_"Sorry I woke you" Quinn mumbles, turning her head to look up at the beautiful latina._

_"It's okay" Santana smiles,"How do you feel?" she asks curiously, moving a strand of hair from the paler girl's face. Dark eyes watch for signs of regret as Quinn contemplates how to respond._

_"Better" Quinn states simply. "How about you?"_

_"I feel glad you feel better" Santana responds and Quinn's mouth tugs upwards into the first genuine smile that the latina had seen on the blonde's face in a long time. "I called my parents earlier, they'll be home in the morning" she tells her. "Don't worry baby girl, they just want to talk, they want to support you" Santana adds after spotting a hint of panic in the stunning hazel eyes gazing at her. "They may be gone a lot but they're good people, they won't throw you out, no matter what you do, all they'll ever do is try to make things easier for you. I promise." the latina states, Quinn nodding tentively. "Trust me sweetheart"_

_"I do" Quinn whispers, her stomach growling, causing Santana to chuckle and bring them out of their intimate moment._

_"Come on, I'll make us something to eat" the latina says kindly, gently sliding out from underneath Quinn, noticing that the blonde stays where she is, flushing as her eyes land on her discarded sweatpants and underwear. "Here" Santana murmurs, picking up the items of clothing and placing them onto the sofa. "Get yourself together, I'll be in the kitchen when you're ready" she adds, winking at the grateful smile that is shot in her direction and leaving the room._

0-00-0

Quinn carefully lowers herself onto the kitchen chair, grimacing as the cushioned seat doesn't do anything to lessen the pain of sitting on a freshly spanked behind. She accepts the glass of water and sandwich that her wife places in front of her, sipping the water as Santana sits down opposite her with her own sandwich. They eat in a silence that is much more comfortable than when they sat down to breakfast that morning, the spanking having both cleared Quinn's conscience and the tension between them. She notices that Santana is much more relaxed, her earlier breakdown completely in the past as warm brown eyes meet her gaze, the latina smiling around the mouthful of bread and cheese in her mouth and causing the blonde to giggle at her wife's antics.

"Do you want to have a movie night tonight? Just chill out here instead of meeting Kurt?" Santana asks, aware that her wife may not be thrilled at the prospect of sitting on a hard wooden bar-stool all night, especially when she wouldn't be able to drink alcohol. "Maybe get our cuddle on?" the latina smiles.

"Yeah, that sounds good but can you be the one to call Kurt, he always talks me out of cancelling when I do it" Quinn replies, rolling her eyes as she remembers the numerous times she had failed to cancel on the male diva, Kurt only ever accepting the most valid of reasons. Not being in the mood to go out was never a good enough reason for him.

"Sure" Santana laughs, picking up her cell-phone and dialling their friend's number, holding the phone to her ear and waiting a moment. "Hey Hummel, we can't make it tonight" she states, "Because we're not in the mood" she replies to his questioning, rolling her eyes at her wife. "Well I'm telling you it is a good enough reason to cancel and that's how it's gonna go. Have a good night and I look forward to not having a hangover in the morning, Bye Hummel" Santana tells him, hanging up and shooting Quinn a smug grin. The blonde stares at her wife in disbelief, shaking her head at the latina's little celebratory dance in her chair. The finish their food in relative silence, both women just dumping their plates in the sink when they're done, deciding to wash up later. Santana catches Quinn off guard by pressing a soft passionate kiss to her pink lips when she turns around, the blonde relaxing into the latina's body and kissing her back, grinning when she feels Santana smiling into the kiss. Warm arms pull Quinn into a loving hug and she rests her head on her wife's shoulder, content to just be held after her painful morning.

"I love you" the paler woman states simply as she pulls back to look at her wife.

"I love you too" Santana grins, taking her hand and leading her into the livingroom, slumping down onto the sofa while Quinn lowers herself down next to her, wincing slightly as she tries to find a more comfortable position, settling for tucked into Santana's side, the latina's arm around her, the remote control in her free hand as she flips through their tivo menu to find a decent movie to watch. "I have to work all day tomorrow, will you be okay?" the hispanic woman questions, her hand snaking down to gently caress her wife's sore ass.

"Yeah, I'll be fine" Quinn responds as she burrows deeper into Santana's side, inhaling the comforting scent that is only Santana.

"Will you promise to call me if you feel like things are too much?"

"I promise" the blonde murmurs.

**Thank you for reading. Please leave me a review to let me know what you think :)**


	20. Chapter 20

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**I put a lot of time and effort into this fic so I seriously appreciate the lovely reviews I've been getting for this. I considered removing anonymous reviews from this after I was dragged into some drama but I've had messages on twitter from people who read this and don't have an account so feel free to leave a review even if you can't sign in :)**_

_**Flashbacks are in Italics.**_

Chapter 20

_Quinn rolls over in bed, wincing as her still sensitive backside hits the sheets and immediately turning onto her side. She can hear voices drifting up from downstairs and she listens carefully, recognising Gloria's voice. Glancing over at the clock and seeing that it's almost ten, she pushes herself up, dangling her legs over the edge of the bed and cursing under her breath as her aching ass takes her weight and quickly standing up. She thinks to herself how weird is feels, sure the lingering pain she could have lived without but her shoulders feel lighter and the world didn't seem like such a bad place today. Quinn mentally prepares herself for the conversation about to take place as she makes her way downstairs, following the voices into the kitchen._

_"Goodmorning Quinn" Gloria smiles, "Coffee?" she offers and Quinn sees Santana give a tiny shake of her head. The blonde realises that if she accepts the coffee, her girlfriend wouldn't be able to say anything to stop her while her mother is here._

_"Uh no thank you" Quinn responds, shaking the thoughts of defiance from her head, she had agreed to these rules, picking and choosing when to follow them wouldn't be fair. "Is there Orange juice?" she asks._

_"Yes, you sit yourself down and I'll get that. We were just about to wake you, breakfast is almost ready" Gloria states, turning back to the frying pan, the smell of bacon wafting through the room. Quinn sits down next to Santana at the table, smiling as the younger latina presses a sloppy kiss to her cheek and rests her arm on the back of Quinn's chair. The blonde doesn't realise how hungry she is until the older Lopez woman places a plate loaded with different breakfast good down in front of her, along with a glass of Orange juice. The room is silent as the teenagers eat their food, Gloria sitting at the table with them, sipping her coffee and reading the newspaper, waiting for them to finish. Santana glances over at her mother, knowing that the woman is distracting herself, despite being desperate to talk to Quinn about the recent events. The other latina meets her daughter's gaze and she gives Santana a small smile. The pride that she feels, at how well her daughter has handled the hard situation, showing in her dark eyes. Gloria waits until both girls are done eating before she clears her throat and looks over at Quinn. "So how are you feeling today" she asks, taking the empty plates to the sink and grabbing more coffee before sitting back down._

_"A lot better" Quinn responds honestly, "Santana has been nothing short of amazing" she adds, wishing she could explain just how much her girlfriend has done for her. The blonde feels Santana take her hand under the table, lacing their fingers together, her thumb tracing small circle onto the back of the paler girl's hand._

_"Understand that you don't have to give me details if you're not comfortable doing so but I do need to ask you some questions. Myself and Mateo both want to help you, he will be coming home this afternoon" Gloria states, waiting for Quinn's nod before she continues. "Have you hurt yourself before?" the woman asks gently, feeling relief course through her when the girl shakes her head in the negtive. "Do you feel like doing it now?"_

_"No" Quinn murmurs, glancing over at Santana, the younger latina kissing her temple softly, her eyes conveying nothing but love and support. "Santana helped me" she adds. "Things just feel...dark at times, I guess. I just felt so lost and numb, it kinda happened before I realised what I was doing" Gloria nods, her face sober as she waits for her daughter's girlfriend to continue. "It made me feel better at first, until I saw the look on Santana's face" she finishes, her eyes filling with unshed tears._

_"Sweetheart, from now on you will never feel alone. We are always going to be here for you and I think you've been very brave Quinn. You know that it's a problem so maybe the next step is talking to a professional about things. I won't force you into anything, you're almost eighteen years old. The decision is completely yours and, of course, we will support you in every way possible" Gloria tells her. "Is therapy something you would like to try?" she asks, Quinn thinking quietly for a moment before nodding. "Mateo has a lot of connections here, we will find you the very best" _

_"Just find someone who I can afford" Quinn tells her._

_"Don't you worry about money sweetheart, we will take care of that, no arguments. We just want you to get better, just like Santana does"_

0-00-0

Santana smiles as she approaches the nurses' station, taking a chart from the young trainee nurse, checking the dosage for a patient marked on it and scribbling her name at the bottom before handing it back to the nurse, reminding her that an attending would have to sign it as well. The latina drains the remains of her coffee as she stands in front of the patient board, unable to help feeling proud at how empty is considering the mess she walked into that morning.

"Your shift ends in ten,You may as well go" an attending says to her, "Before you get sucked back in" he adds with a wink and she nods with a grin on her face, happy at the thought of going home to her wife. There's an an extra bounce in her step as she heads to the doctors' lounge, quickly stuffing her white coat and stethoscope into her locker and throwing her street clothes and jacket on, eager to leave before someone convinces her to stay longer. Santana nods politely at her co-workers in the ambulance bay as she passes them, her smile widening when she spots Quinn standing at the corner, waiting for her.

"Hi Baby" she says, pressing a warm kiss to her wife's cold lips. "You're freezing, you should have just waited in the car" Santana adds as she slips her hand into Quinn's.

"I didn't bring the car" Quinn states, "I'm taking you out on a date" she says simply, her eyes raking down her wife's body, taking in her jeans and hooded sweatshirt underneath her jacket. "Nowhere fancy though" she adds teasingly and Santana rolls her eyes. They walk in a comfortable silence, both women enjoying each other's company, the latina trying to work out where they're going, knowing that Quinn won't tell her.

"You know, you really really are beautiful" Santana states.

"I'm not telling you where we're going, it's a surprise" Quinn retorts with a roll of her hazel eyes, "Nice try though" the blonde adds, smirking at the pout that appears on her wife's face, knowing it won't stay there long once the latina realises where they're going. She smiles as she thinks about the romantic night she has planned, something that is long overdue. Santana pulls her hand from Quinn's choosing to wrap her arm around her wife's waist instead, genuinly looking forward to spending a nice night with the woman she loves more than anything in the world.

**So I thought i'd add a little fluff to this chapter, I figured it'd be nice to see them having some good times as well. I'll include the date in the next chapter as it ties in nicely with some other things that I'm thinking about doing. Please drop me a review to let me know what you think :)**


	21. Chapter 21

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original Glee characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you for all of your reviews for this fic, I really appreciate it :) R&R please **_

_**Flashbacks are in italics.**_

Chapter 21

Santana grins as Quinn hails a cab, realising she will hear where they're going. She slides into the car after Quinn, scooting closer to her with a smile as she pulls the door closed. The Latina clips her seatbelt into place and throws her arm around her wife, thrilled at the thought of spending all night with her without having to worry. She frowns when Quinn passes the driver a small piece of paper.

"I'm surprising her" the blonde tells the man who smiles and nods, crumpling the paper into a ball and sticking it into the ashtray. Quinn smirks at the look on her wife's face, knowing the Latina had thought she would be able to work out her surprise. "Don't be so impatient" she murmurs to her, placing a soft kiss to her lips as the driver pulls away from the sidewalk. Santana watches the buildings that they pass, completely clueless as to where they're heading and she decides to give up trying to guess. Leaving a sloppy kiss on Quinn's cheek, she snuggles into her side, smiling when her wife's warm hand takes hers. "How was your day?" the blonde asks.

"The first few hours were hell but it calmed down after we admitted some of the more critical patients, it was complete chaos when I got there but most of the patients pulled through" Santana responds sadly, thinking of the patient they lost earlier in the day.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asks softly, her gaze sympathetic.

"Yeah, we knew he wouldn't make it as soon as the paramedics brought him in but it still sucks, which is why I'm glad I get to spend my night with you so that I can think about something else" the latina tells her with a soft smile. Her smile widens when the cab stops and she looks out at the restaurant beside them, sliding out of the cab with a laugh as Quinn pays the driver. "Breadstix?" she asks, her excitement causing the blonde to laugh as she gets out of the cab to join her wife on the sidewalk.

"I found out last week that the owner opened few more restaurants, I guess New York City finally gets to see Santana Fabray-Lopez's love affair with this place" Quinn jokes lightly, taking her wife's hand and leading her inside.

"I can't believe you actually found this place" Santana grins as the approach the young man at the front of the restaurant. He smiles at them politely and motions for them to follow him, leading the women to a private booth before handing them two menus. They tell him their drink orders and Santana looks across the table at her wife with a warm smile on her features. "I love my surprise, thank you" she states once the waiter has left, leaning over to kiss Quinn softly.

"Don't thank me yet, there's more to come" the blonde tells her. "Remember our first real date?" she asks, waiting until the Latina nods before continuing. "I'd just had my first therapy session and you waited outside for me and told me you were going to cheer me up"

"That I wanted to see your beautiful smile before the night was through" Santana remembers. "It'd been a tough couple of months for you, you deserved to have a nice time" the Latina adds with a shrug.

"It was the first time I'd felt truly happy in a long time" the blonde admits. "You've done so much for me and I know I've been messing up a whole lot recently so I wanted to do something for you, to show you how much I still love and appreciate you" Quinn tells her sincerely, wiping a single tear from the corner of her eye.

"I already know that you do" the Latina beams, taking her wife's soft hands into both of hers. "And I love and appreciate you and I love that you did this for me...whatever it is that you're doing" she adds with a soft chuckle.

"Well I wanted to reenact the night that I decided I wanted to be with you forever. All the places you took me on our first date, I'll be taking you tonight but New York style instead of Lima" Quinn states, smiling at the grin that spreads across her wife's face.

_Santana intertwines her fingers with Quinn's as they leave Breadstix, sighing happily and leading her girlfriend across the parking lot. Reaching the sidewalk, the Latina feels the blonde tense and she turns to look in the direction that the hazel eyes she loves are staring in. She frowns as she watches Brittany walk alongside Artie, pushing her irritation down as she realises how Quinn must be feeling, the blonde clearly thinking about that night._

_"Hey" Santana murmurs to gain her girlfriend's attention, her breath hitching in her throat when stunning hazel eyes gaze back at her, a strength in them that the Latina hadn't seen for a long time._

_"I'm fine" Quinn states sincerely. "I won't let her get to me" she adds, blushing at the pride on her girlfriend's face._

_"Good" Santana replies simply, leaning forward to capture the blonde's pink lips with hers. The Latina can't help but feel positive as they continue walking, Quinn is making progress, a step in the right direction, a small one but it is still a step. She playfully swings their joined hands when they cross the street, Quinn gazing at her curiously._

_"This is the wrong way San" she says in confusion._

_"Who says we're going home?" the Latina asks slyly, "The date isn't over yet baby girl" she walk in a comfortable silence, the rhythm of their footsteps the only sound in the quiet street. Santana looks over at Quinn, the streetlight above their heads reflecting in her brown eyes as she smiles softly at the beautiful blonde."In here" she murmurs, pushing the old rusting gate of the park open, the loud creak of it's strained hinges echoing in the night air. She leads Quinn along the footpath before suddenly cutting across the grass, heading for the trees. The Latina pushes her way through the trees, making sure that none of the branches spring back and hit Quinn, finally reaching a small clearing. Santana stops a few yards away from the edge of the small stream that runs through the park and sits down, patting the space next to her. Quinn obliges, scooting as close to the Latina as she can, the black haired girl placing an arm around her._

_"It's beautiful" Quinn tells her, gesturing to their surroundings, Santana nodding her agreement._

_"I come here a lot." she murmurs. "When I need to think and get away from things for a little while, I've never brought anyone here before" the Latina states softly. "I've seen everything in your life, I wanted you to see everything in mine" she adds, her voice almost in a eyes gaze into hazel. "You're so beautiful Quinn and you have the kindest soul of anyone I know. I love you so much" she whispers, her hand cupping the blonde's cheek. "I need you in my life"_

_"You have me" Quinn replies tenderly."I'll try, for you."_

_"No" Santana says, shaking her head seriously. "Try for yourself, believe in yourself" the Latina whispers. "The world needs Lucy Quinn Fabray in it" she states passionately. "Doing it for yourself is doing it for me" Quinn nods, her eyes glistening with unshed tears, her heart swelling in her chest._

_"I love you too" the blonde says, leaning forward and kissing the girl that she viewed as her deepens the kiss, her hands finding refuge in the latina's dark locks, feeling Santana's arms snake around her waist, her girlfriend turning into her without breaking the kiss._

_"Not here" the hispanic teen whispers between heated kisses, Quinn's hands reaching out to pull at her girlfriend's shirt, Santana's hands coming down to rest on hers to stop them. "Not here" she repeats. Quinn looks around them, despite the clearing's beauty Santana is right, here isn't the right place. The now much cooler air causes a shiver to run through her body and the latina pulls her close, holding her for a moment before pulling her to her feet. "I want this to be perfect, not something you regret" Santana tells her._

_0-00-0_

_Quinn pulls her girlfriend close, leaving a scorching kiss to the full lips that she loves so much, breaking the kiss only to kick her bedroom door closed. Her hands settle on Santana's hips as she deepens the kiss, their tongues fighting for dominance as they stumble to the bed, the blonde pulling the latina down on top of her as the reach the bed._

_"Are you sure you're ready?" Santana breathes, searching her girlfriend's face for any signs of hesitance, hazel lust filled eyes staring back at her._

_"I'm ready" Quinn swears "Are you?" the latina attacking her lips feverishly answers her question. Santana pulls her shirt over her head, throwing it behind her as she lifts her leg over the blonde's hips, straddling her as she kisses along her jaw. Tanned fingers pull at the blonde's t'shirt, pulling it up over her head, her eyes darkening at the sight of Quinn's perfect breasts in the red lace bra. Their limbs tangle in their haste to disrobe each other, Santana unable to hold herself back as her eyes rake over Quinn's naked body._

_"You are so beautiful" she husks, her lips tracing along her girlfriend's collar bone, slowly trailing feather kisses up to her neck and sucking on her pulse point, Quinn's answering moans shooting straight to the latina's core. Her hand trails down the blonde's toned stomach, her eyes staring into Quinn's questioningly, the blonde nodding and moaning loudly as her girlfriend's finger runs through the wet heat, her thumb circling her erect clit. "So fucking beautiful" Santana groans, pushing one finger into Quinn's soaking entrance, working up a steady rhythm and adding a second finger, her thumb teasing the small bundle of nerves and sending electric waves through the blonde's body._

_"Don't stop" Quinn breathes, her hand slithering down to cup Santana's hot wet flesh, the latina's hips bucking as her girlfriend enters her, following the same rhythm as her. Both teenagers breath heavily as they move as one, their gaze locked. The blonde presses their lips together, their breathing growing more eratic and the kiss becoming sloppy before they pull apart, Santana's mouth latching onto Quinn's neck once more as their cries echo around the room, both girls coming undone together and each others names rip from their throats."I love you" Quinn says breathlessly, Santana's head laying on her heaving chest as they lie together in their post orgasm bliss._

_"I love you too" the latina murmurs, pulling herself off of Quinn, lying beside her and taking the other girl into her arms and kissing her temple. Santana drags the duvet out from under them and pulls it across their bodies, both girls falling asleep as they hold each other._

**Please let me know what you think, Thank you for reading :)**


	22. Chapter 22

_**I do not own Glee or the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**I admit that the decrease in interest in this fic has been a little disheartening so if you're still interested in this fic then let me know and I'll keep going with it.**_

_**Some things that take place in this fic will be true to the series but the timeline for it will be completely different. R&R please.**_

_**Flashbacks are in Italics.**_

Chapter 22

Quinn chuckles at the frustrated whine that leaves Santana's mouth as she shoots down another of the latina's guesses. She decides against vocalising how adorable her wife is being right now, a lecture on how badass Santana thinks she is, is not her idea of a romantic date. She leans further across the table, taking the other woman's free hand into hers and smiling when the hispanic woman automatically threads her fingers through Quinn's.

"Central park?" Santana asks thinking back to the park she took the blonde to on their first official date.

"Nope" Quinn grins.

"You're enjoying yourself" Santana accuses, narrowing her eyes at the blonde. "You love that it's driving me crazy not knowing where we're going"

"I kinda am" the hazel eyed woman smirks, earning a playful nudge to the ribs from her wife. "I'll give you a clue, it's somewhere cold" she adds.

"It's the beginning of December Q...In New York" the Latina states in exasperation, rolling her eyes and pouting slightly.

"Oh...that's not a great clue, huh?" Quinn says slyly. "Just relax, I thought it would be nice to do something that we've been meaning to do since we moved here but haven't gotten around to yet" she tells Santana.

"Another Sex tape?" the Latina asks quietly, a glimmer of hope in her darks eyes. Quinn gapes at her, her mouth opening and closing before she shakes her head. Only Santana would bring up the idea of them making a sex tape during a romantic dinner.

"Are you high?" she finally asks, causing Santana to chuckle.

"Nope. Just in an awesome mood, I get to spend the whole night just hanging with you" The Latina responds sweetly, knowing exactly how to placate her wife. Quinn rolls her eyes, well aware of what Santana is doing but she appreciates the sentiment all the same. She motions for the check and pays it immediately, leaving a generous tip for the waiter. The blonde leads her wife from the restaurant and they walk along the streets, Santana making a huge effort to only step into the footprints that are already imprinted on the blanket of snow that covers the sidewalk. Due to everything that had happened lately, Santana's fun side hadn't made too many appearances as of late and Quinn smiles at the Latina's antics that serve as a reminder that no matter what, they're always going to be okay.

"Almost there sweetie" the blonde informs the other woman, Santana instantly starting to scan the surrounding area for clues. The Latina grins when they turn the corner and her gaze settles on the Rockefeller Centre. "We always talk about coming ice skating every year and I thought it was about time that we did it" Quinn says. "On our first proper date you took me to somewhere that was special to you, somewhere that you felt safe so I'm doing the same" she adds with a small smile.

"The Rockefeller centre is your special place?" Santana questions, her brow furrowing.

"Not exactly" her wife murmurs, "There are a lot of places that I feel that way about but there's one reason for it, it's where you are. Wherever you are is my special and safe place" Quinn explains quietly, flushing at how cheesy she sounds.

"Aw Babe that's the most adorable thing ever" Santana coos, leaning forward and capturing her wife's cold lips with hers. "I love you" she adds simply.

"I love you too" the blonde grins.

0-00-0

Quinn almost bites through her lip to stop herself from laughing as she helps Santana into the taxi, the latina grumbling in spanish and avoiding eye contact with her wife. The blonde chuckles when the other woman carefully lowers herself into the backseat, wincing as she pulls her seatbelt across her torso. Even Santana's infamous HBIC death glare doesn't have much effect on Quinn tonight, the pout pulling at the latina's full lips making her look more like a kicked puppy than the terrifying woman she tries to be.

"Are you okay?" Quinn asks, sliding in next to her and telling the driver their address.

"If I say no are you just gonna laugh at me again?" Santana asks with a scowl.

"No, I won't. I'm sorry babe" the blonde smiles and leans across to chastely kiss the woman, noticing how quickly the scowl falls from her tanned features after that. "Maybe ice-skating wasn't the best idea" she says with a frown.

"No, it was. I'm glad we finally did it baby girl, it was fun until that kid crashed into me" Santana tells her. "His head felt like a freaking bowling ball" she adds in a hushed tone and Quinn fights the laughter that once again bubbles in her throat, the image of the little boy crashing into Santana's legs and causing her to fall on her ass, lodged firmly in her mind. "And I know that you're gonna laugh again but seriously Q, I think he broke my ass!" The latina rolls her eyes when her wife just laughs at her, the blonde desperately trying to school her features when she realises Santana is actually in a lot of pain.

"Excuse me" Quinn says to the driver, "Can you take us to the county hospital a few blocks away instead please?" The driver gives her a small nod, meeting her gaze in the rear view mirror for a second.

"No, Quinn it's fine. I don't need to go to the hospital, seriously I don't" Santana pleads. "I am not going into my work place and asking for someone to look at my ass!" she hisses.

"San, you can barely sit down. What if it's your coccyx?" Quinn argues, "We'll go get it checked out just to be on the safe side or I can call Mike and get him to carry you there?" she suggests with a smirk, knowing she's already won the argument.

"Fine, whatever" the latina mutters, her scowl deepening and she focuses her gaze on the window, glaring at all the passing buildings.

_**I know, it's a tiny chapter. Basically just a little filler chapter for me to see if people are still interested in this before I start working on all the angst that's coming in the next few chapters. Let me know what you think. Thank you for reading :)**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**I do not own Glee or the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you for all of the reviews for the last chapter, I'm so glad you guys are still interested in this 's an extremely personal one and your brilliant reviews totally motivate me. There's a lot of angst coming up in these next few chapters but present day Quinntana's fluffiness will hopefully even it out a little bit :)**_

_**Flashbacks are in italics. R&R please.**_

Chapter 23

_Santana smiles as she wakes up with the blonde head of her girlfriend resting on her chest, the smell of her kiwi and strawberry shampoo intoxicting her senses. Her thumb draws lazy circles on the paler forearm of the other girl as she listens to her steady breathing, wishing she could see Quinn's angelic face. She smiles as she thinks about the night before and how it had gone so perfectly and how amazingly well Quinn had been doing lately. A soft sigh escapes her full lips when her gaze lingers on the healing cut on her girlfriend's arm, realising it will most likely leave a scar, a permanent reminder of one of their darkest days. The blonde stirs in Santana's arms, twisting her body to look up at the latina with a lazy grin on her face._

_"Goodmorning sleeping beauty" Santana states teasingly._

_"Goodmorning. What time is it?" Quinn asks sleepily, lifting one of her hands to groggily rub her eyes._

_"Almost seven, we have to get up soon" the latina responds regretfully, "I was about to wake you" she adds._

_"I don't wanna get out of bed, I'm warm and comfortable and well, you're naked" Quinn smirks, causing the latina to chuckle and raise an eyebrow._

_"And you, baby girl, are also naked" Santana grins, placing a sloppy kiss to the blonde's temple, unable to reach her lips."Last night was just amazing" she adds quietly, her dark eyes searching the hazel ones in front of her, smiling when Quinn nods in agreement._

_"Yeah, everything was perfect" the blonde murmurs, "Thank you"_

_"You're welcome" the latina states sincerely, her hand shooting out to slam the snooze button on her alarm clock when it starts to screech._

_"Do we have to get up? We could just lay here all day" Quinn suggests, her fingers lightly trailing along Santana's toned stomach, watching goosebumps spring up across her tanned skin._

_"As much as I'd love to, my Mom always informs Figgins when she and my dad go away on business to make sure I don't ditch while they're away" the Latina grumbles. "Miss Pillsbury has to come and check up on me if I'm not there to make sure I'm actually sick" she adds with a chuckle._

_"Why do people think you're so badass?" Quinn asks in amusement._

_"Because I am" the Hispanic teenager replies indignantly, playfully poking the blonde's ribs. "I'm gonna have a shower, wanna join me? To uh save water?"_

_"Sure" Quinn grins, "To save water, of course" she adds as Santana slides out from underneath her, her breath catching at the sight of her girlfriend's tanned and athletic naked body. Sudden insecurity washes over her as her gaze rakes down the Latina's perfect body, Santana noticing her change of demeanour and holding her hand out to her._

_"C'mon beautiful" she murmurs tenderly, gazing into nervous hazel eyes. Quinn blushes underneath her latina's passionate gaze, realising the truth in Santana's words, she really does find her beautiful. She takes her hand, allowing the other teenager to pull her to her feet, feeling Santana's eyes on her body before the latina leans forward and presses a warm kiss to Quinn's lips, her tanned hands finding refuse in short blonde hair. The raven haired girl leads her girlfriend from the bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom, closing the door behind them and locking it out of habit. She switches the shower on, motioning for Quinn to get in while she grabs a couple of towels from the cabinet underneath the sink. Santana enters the shower behind the blonde and she wraps her arms around the girl's waist, placing a soft kiss to her shoulder. The latina holds her for a few moments before leaning over her to grabs the shampoo and squeezing it into her hand and massaging it into Quinn's hair, her nails gently scratching the blonde's scalp._

_"That's the best feeling in the world" Quinn groans, tipping her head back to allow Santana more access._

_"The best feeling?" the latina asks, quirking her eyebrow and smirking._

_"One of the best" the blonde amends, chuckling at her girlfriend._

_"Uh huh, I thought so"_

_0-00-0_

_Santana nudges Puck's elbow away from her side of the desk, choosing to ignore him blatantly sticking his hand into her backpack, knowing he needs to copy her homework. Sighing, she wonders why either of them chose to take American history, neither of them entirely interested in the subject, not that Puck had an interest in any subject._

_"Wonder where the dinosaur is, she's never late" Noah mutters to the Latina, referring to their usual teacher. "Don't tell me I just worked hard for no reason" he adds and Santana rolls her eyes._

_"I don't think copying someone's homework counts as hard work" she states."Although I guess for someone with your brain capacity, just putting your shoe on the correct foot counts as hard work" Santana adds with a smirk, Puck mimicking her under his breath. Dark eyes follow Ms Pillsbury as the red head slowly walks into the room, her wide eyes zipping around the untidy room._

_"Mrs Burnette had a nasty fall down the stairs last night" The guidance teacher tells the room, "She's alright, just a little bruised but she won't be back for a couple of weeks so we've organised a substitute teacher to take over her classes. The sub should be here soon, she's just getting reacquainted with the building" Emma adds._

_"So she's lost" Puck smirks._

_"Yes. So why don't you guys do some homework or something until she gets here" Miss Pillsbury states, sitting down and keeping her hands away from the messy desk in front of her._

_"I hope it's Miss Holiday" Noah whispers, "She was hot" he adds and Santana can't help but agree with him. "I gotta tell you Lezpez, you're much more fun now that you're out of the closet" Puck grins._

_"Yeah, well I have a good reason to be happy" Santana responds with a small smile, surprised when Puck doesn't make a sleazy comment about Quinn being a good lay, the mohawked boy just nodding._

_"Yeah. Quinn's good for you" he says sincerely, his mouth dropping when he glances at the door to the classroom. Santana follows his gaze and feels her stomach drop as Shelby Corcoran walks towards the guidance councillor, both of them talking quietly. Santana watches silently as Miss Pillsbury leaves the room quickly, most likely rushing to go bathe with her sanitizer. Puck abruptly stands up, knocking his chair to the ground and starting to pack his things away._

_"Noah? Where are you going?" Shelby questions, understanding why Puck may be upset with her appearance but not quite understanding the death glare she's receiving from Santana. "Noah, I'm about to start the lesson" she states when Puck ignores her and refuses to look at anyone before he strides from the room, Santana jumping from her seat and rushing after him without even grabbing her things and not responding to Shelby's demands for her to sit back down._

_"Puckerman!" Santana calls after him, jogging just to keep up with his much longer legs. "Puck, come on, I may not be Berry sized but you're still much taller than me, slow down" she tells him. "Noah!" she snaps, grabbing his arm and he stops dead in the middle of the hallway. "Talk to me" the latina adds softly._

_"Don't worry about me, just go find Quinn" Puck murmurs, his gaze fixed on the floor. "You'll need to warn her before she sees her" he adds._

_"I will but she's doing a math test right now so I have time. This affects you as well Noah, are you going to be alright?" she asks in concern, her dark eyes searching her friend's face for any warning signs that he's going to do something stupid. Puck nods, meeting Santana's gaze briefly just to reassure her. _

_"I just need to think. I didn't think she'd come back" he mutters softly._

_"Will you call me if you need to?" the latina asks, her brow furrowing when he merely nods. "Promise?"_

_"Yeah San, I promise" Puck tells her honestly, pecking his lips against her cheek before hiking his backpack further across his shoulder and wandering away in the opposite direction. Santana watches him go, sighing softly as she realises she left her things in the classroom but knowing if she goes back she'll have to face Shelby and right now, that's the last thing she wants to do._

_"Is he alright?" Santana hears Shelby ask and she whips around to face the woman, a scowl lacing her features._

_"Probably not" the latina snaps, the older woman's eyebrows almost disappearing into her hair, surprised at the hostility coming from the teenage girl she barely knows. "Does Quinn know you're back?" Santana asks._

_"I don't see what concern that is of yours" Shelby replies calmly._

_"She's my girlfriend" the teenager says simply, "And right now she doesn't need anymore stress so does she know that you're back?" she drawls, glaring straight into the taller woman's eyes, surprising even herself with the intensity behind her voice._

_"No, she doesn't. Miss Pillsbury is talking to her now" the teacher retorts. _

_"What about Puck? You just walked right in there without any warning, that wasn't fair to him. He may not have given birth to Beth but he did father her, he had a right to know too" Santana sighs. She shoots the woman another dark look before brushing passed her and striding back into the classroom to collect her things, Shelby watching her silently and cursing herself as the teenager storms passed her and back out into the hall, heading straight for Miss Pillsbury's office._

0-00-0

Quinn notices the blush that spreads across her wife's face as she helps her out of the cab, following Santana's gaze and spotting one of the latina's interns approaching them. The dark haired woman shrugs off Quinn's arm, wincing as she walks towards the younger doctor, each step sending a shooting pain along the bottom of her spine.

"If any of the other interns hear about this from you then you will be doing rectal exams every day for the rest of your internship" Santana threatens severely, ignoring the disapproving look her wife gives her. "I mean it, Adams" she adds.

"Of course Doctor Fabray-Lopez. No-one will hear it from me" Doctor Adams responds nervously. "Should I get you a wheel-chair?" he asks, Santana's glare intensifying. "No, of course you don't want to sit in a wheelchair" the young man stutters, the latina limping passed him and heading into the emergency room.

"She's just in a lot of pain" Quinn tells him apologetically, even though she has a feeling that Santana was never nice to her interns. She follows him into the emergency room where they find her wife leaning against the nurses station and talking to Rose, the grey haired charge nurse that had taken Santana under her wing during her first day of her internship. Quinn smiles at Rose as she approaches them, noticing that her wife's intern is practically hiding behind her.

"Hey Quinn, it's good to see you" Rose states with a warm smile. "You're looking much better" she adds.

"Thanks Rose, I feel much better. Unfortunately, my lovely wife is now the one who needs some medical help" Quinn smirks.

"So I see. Why don't you go with Doctor Adams to fill out some paperwork while I set Santana up in a bed" the nurse suggests, Quinn nodding and pressing a soft kiss to her wife's cheek before following the young intern over to the seating area. "No resident wants their interns to see them when they're vulnerable" the older woman winks, guiding a grateful Santana to the nearest bed and pulling the curtain all the way around. "So what exactly happened hon?"

"We went ice-skating at the Rockefeller centre and some kid knocked me on my ass" the latina explains, whimpering softly as Rose helps her onto the bed to lay on her side. "Please don't make me put a gown on unless I really have to" she adds softly.

"Only if you absolutely have to" the other woman confirms kindly. "You want me to have a look before Doctor Montgomery gets here?" she asks quietly, Santana nodding and squeezing her eyes closed after unbuttoning her jeans. Rose gently pulls the latina's jeans and underwear down just enough for her to see the darkening bruse on the woman's tailbone. "Oh, honey I think we'd better get you into a gown, it looks pretty nasty and Montgomery will most likely want to get some x-rays" the nurse murmurs sympathetically. "I'll go get Quinn" she adds, pulling the back of Santana's jeans and underwear back into place.

0-00-0

"You know, you didn't have to make him cry Santana, he was only doing his job" Quinn chastises as she helps her wife undress.

"He's annoying" the latina whines, her features contorting with pain when she puts too much wait on her tailbone. "I have a broken ass and he wants me to be hold his hand while he writes out a damn prescription" she moans.

"You're his teacher and you're coccyx isn't broken, it's bruised" the blonde states, pulling her wife to her feet and sliding her pajama bottoms into place. Santana chooses to ignore Quinn as she pulls her tank top on, pouting at the fact that she's being told off while she's in pain. "Doctors really are the worst patients" Quinn chuckles. "How are you feeling? Are the painkillers working?"

"Not as much as I'd like them to" Santana grumbles, carefully lowering herself into bed and laying on her side as the other woman pulls the duvet over her and tenderly kisses her. Quinn sits on the edge of the bed, gently stroking her wife's forehead while the latina starts to drift off. "Thank you" the raven haired woman murmurs sleepily.

"For looking after you? It's not as if you haven't done it for me a million times" Quinn replies quietly, staying by Santana's side until she falls asleep, smiling down at her and thinking about how adorable she looks.

_Santana quickly strides down the halls of William Mckinley high school, sighing softly in relief as she reaches Miss Pillsbury's office, hovering in the doorway as the guidance councillor talks to Quinn, the blonde girl's brow furrowed as she listens to the teacher. The red head notices Santana lingering outside her office and she gestures for her to take a seat on the bench outside, the latina slumping down and trying to be patient as she waits. She wonders what kind of damage Shelby and Beth's appearance will do to Quinn's recovery, praying that her girlfriend won't sink back into her depression. Sighing, she drums her fingers against the wooden bench that she's perching on, debating whether she should call her parents now or to wait and see how Quinn reacts first. Santana knows that if she calls her parents before giving the blonde a chance to react she might come across as distrustful to the girl but she also knows that if Quinn does react badly, then it might be a good idea to give her parents the heads up. She doesn't get a chance to make the decision as Quinn shuffles out of Miss Pillsbury's office, her eyes clouding with tears and Santana jumps up to take her girlfriend into her arms._

_"Hey baby girl" Santana murmurs softly, "You doing okay?" she asks._

_"I just didn't think I'd ever get a chance to see her again" Quinn mumbles, "Why would she come here?"_

_"I don't know" the latina sighs, rubbing soothingly circles on her girlfriend's back. "Tell me something, do you want to see Beth?" she asks carefully._

_"No. Shelby's her mother now and it's just gonna hurt so badly to see her, she's now my baby anymore" Quinn chokes into Santana's neck, sobs wracking her body as she quits fighting and allows her emotions to take over, the latina doing the only thing she can do and holding her as she cries. The latina swallows her panic, focusing only on comforting her girlfriend, deciding to just watch her carefully for the next few days, terrified of the blonde slipping again but ready to catch her if she does._

_**Drop me a review to let me know what you think and I'll do my best to update again soon. Thank you for reading! :)**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**I do not own Glee or the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you for all of the reviews for this story! I really appreciate them :) There's only about four or five chapters left of this story so I will try my best to get them all up quickly.**_

_**Flashbacks are in Italics.**_

Chapter 24

_Santana frowns as she pulls her car into the parking lot of McKinley high, spotting Quinn leaning against a dirty looking hummer and chatting to a girl that Santana recognises as one of the skanks. As she kills the engine, she watches as Sheila and the other skanks join Quinn and the other girl, the Latina narrowing her eyes as she gets out of the car and wanders over to them._

_"Hey babe" Quinn smiles as her girlfriend reaches them, leaning into her and kissing her passionately and surprising Santana with the force behind it._

_"Uh, hi. You were gone when I woke up" the Latina murmurs, ignoring the stares from the skanks._

_"Yeah I know, I was gonna text you but I forgot. I was just catching up with some friends, sorry babe" Quinn shrugs, not looking apologetic in the least. "I think it's good that we don't spend every minute together, it keeps the relationship fresh" the blonde adds with a smirk, triggering a few snickers from the girls behind her._

_"Okay well, I guess I'll just see you in there" Santana mutters, gesturing towards the school._

_"Sure thing" Quinn winks, the Latina frowning slightly as she walks to the front entrance, not sure if she should be worried with the sudden change in Quinn's attitude or not. She wonders if the blonde is just trying to show off to her friends, maybe trying to prove to them that she is back to her old self. Sighing, she forces herself to try and forget about it just now and to not worry about it. Quinn's right, they don't have to spend all of their time with each other and it'll be good for the blonde to have other people to talk to, another distraction from Shelby and Beth. Santana reaches her locker without even realising she's inside, walking on autopilot while lost in her thoughts and she smiles at Puckerman when she finds him leaning against her locker._

_"Hey Puck, are you ok?" she asks quietly, glancing around her to ensure that nobody is listening in._

_"Yeah" he sighs. "I went to Shelby's last night" he adds. "She wants me and Quinn to be in Beth's life. You should see her San, she's amazing! Just this tiny little version of Quinn" Noah smiles. "Do you think it's a good idea if I ask Quinn to go with me the next time I go?"_

_"I think you'd be better asking her, this is between you and Quinn. I don't get a say in this one" Santana murmurs._

_"But is she okay? Will this set anything off?" Puck asks nervously, "She's been doing so well lately and I don't want anything to screw this up" he states sincerely._

_"This is your daughter we're talking about Noah, if Shelby wants you and Quinn to be in Beth's life then I think you should at least talk to Quinn" Santana replies, glaring at Jacob who is lingering nearby and watching the boy fearfully run off before continuing. "Ask her, it's her decision and I'll support both of you" she tells him honestly._

_"Thanks Satan. You're not the bitch you used to be" Puckerman smirks, playfully nudging her arm._

_"Yeah, you can thank Quinn for that" Santana chuckles. "We're not about to hug are we?" she asks quietly._

_"No!" Noah responds quickly._

_"Thank god" The latina states, gazing at the mohawked teenager in front of her. "So, you'll call me if you need anything?"_

_"Yeah, I will. Thanks Lezpez" he smiles, awkwardly hesitating before leaning down to quickly kiss her cheek before turning on his heel and walking to class._

_0-00-0_

_"Hey, It's San, just making sure you're alright. I'm heading to bed so can you try and be quiet when you get home? Goodnight babe, I love you." Santana sighs as she throws her cell phone down onto her bed, this is the third night in a row that Quinn had been out late with the skanks and the latina is really starting to worry. She can't really say anything to Quinn without coming off as needy and as far as she knows, her girlfriend hasn't broken any of the rules but she still feels off about the whole situation. If past situations proved anything, Quinn and the skanks didn't mix and Santana had tried to carefully mention this but her girlfriend had completely brushed her off and told her she was worrying too much. The latina flops down onto her bed and stares at the ceiling, maybe she is worrying too much but Quinn has given her plenty of reasons to in the past and her sudden reconnection with the skanks has to be something to do with Shelby and Beth, she just knows it._

_"What the hell do I do?" the Latina whispers to herself, covering her face with her hands and sighing loudly. It's Friday night so Quinn isn't even breaking the rule about going to bed eight hours before she has to get up, not when she can sleep all day if she chooses to. Santana reaches over and switches her lamp off, staring up into darkness and hoping she's making the right decision. She's not sure how long she's been lying in the dark when she hears Quinn's keys in the front door, listening as the girl closes and locks the door again. Santana pushes herself off of her bed and walking across the room, pulling the door open and startling Quinn who is walking passed. _

_"Jeez San!" the blonde exclaims, "You didn't have to sneak up on me" _

_"I didn't sneak, I walked" the Latina states. "Have a good night?" _

_"Yeah, it was alright. Give me a second to get changed and I'll join you, if you like?" Quinn asks, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. Santana frowns slightly, surprised at the blonde's demeanour. _

_"Sure" she replies with a forced smile. _

_"Awesome! Be right back" Quinn grins, kissing her girlfriend chastely before heading off to her own bedroom. Santana narrows her eyes at the retreating blonde and heads back into her room. She sits down on the edge of her bed, her brow furrowing, she can't really explain it but Quinn just seems really..off. The Latina waits silently for her girlfriend to arrive own her bedroom, her eyes widening slightly when Quinn appears in the doorway dressed in only her panties and a skin tight tank top. The blonde smirks at her as she joins her on the bed, pushing Santana onto her back and straddling her hips. "I'm babysitting Beth tomorrow" she murmurs, "with Puck" _

_"You are? What made you agree to that?" Santana asks in surprise. _

_"Well she's not going anywhere so I think I should try to get to know my daughter. I know I said I wasn't going to but you know, Puck's doing it so I guess I should try. If it's too hard then I don't have to do it again" Quinn shrugs. _

_"Whatever you decide, I've got your back" the hispanic girl states and the blonde smiles, leaning down and pulling Santana into a searing kiss. Pale hands roughly grope the latina's chest, tweaking her nipples through her t'shirt a little harder than necessary. Santana grabs her girlfriend's hands to try and pull them away from her body only for Quinn to pin her tanned arms above her head, laying a bruising kiss to full lips. The Latina squirms underneath her, feeling completely uncomfortable and if it isn't of the fact that she can't taste or smell anything from the blonde, she'd swear she is drunk. She forces her head to the side and tries to pull her arms free from Quinn's surprisingly strong grip_

_"Quinn! Stop." Santana says firmly, wrenching free from her grasp and placing her hands on the blonde's chest, forcing some distance between them._

_"Come on San, don't tell me you don't want this" Quinn chuckles dryling, attempting to kiss the latina again and scowling deeping when the girl turns her head away._

_"You're not yourself" Santana murmurs, "You're being forceful and you need to calm down" she adds calmly, searching the blonde's face with concern in her dark eyes. _

_"Fine" Quinn snaps, pushing herself away from the latina and standing up. "I'm going to bed" she adds, storming from the room, Santana's concern for her girlfriend only growing even more._

_**Please drop me a review to let me know what you think. Thank you for reading :)**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**I do not own Glee or the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you so much for your continued interest in this story, your reviews make my day!**_

_**A few of you commented on this so Just to let you all know, the line "Tries to pull her arms free from Quinn's surprisingly strong grip" didn't have any hidden meanings behind it and wasn't a hint that Quinn was on drugs, it was just a simple statement saying that, to Santana, Quinn is stronger than she looks. Their relationship is intense but still relatively new so it was just another thing that Santana was finding out about her. :)**_

_**Flashbacks are in Italics. R&R please.**_

Chapter 25

Quinn swipes at the finger prodding her shoulder, attempting to roll away from the offensive digit and almost falling off the edge of the sofa. She whines loudly as Santana shakes her, an impatient sigh leaving the latina's full lips as she tries to get her wife to open her eyes.

"Why are you sleeping on the couch?" Santana asks curiously.

"You kicked me out of bed during the night, I accidentally nudged you and you demanded that I leave" Quinn huffs, cracking her eyes open and glaring at her wife, her gaze softening when she spots the pained expression on the tanned woman's face. "How are you feeling?" she asks softly, struggling to her feet and cupping Santana's cheek and kissing her gently.

"It hurts like a bitch" the latina pouts, "And you put my pain pills on the bottom shelf, it hurts to bend all the way down" she adds sadly, accepting the careful hug her wife offers her. "When we have kids we're gonna hunt that brat down and make them beat him up" she states causing Quinn to chuckle softly.

"I'll make sure of it" the blonde replies, internally freaking out at the mention of kids, something they had only spoken about very briefly in the past.

"We could always get Mike and Tina's munchkin to do it" Santana muses, a smirk tugging at her lips. "You know he'd do it" she says.

"Only because he worships the ground you walk on" Quinn smiles, "I'm pretty sure Tina would kill you if you got him to beat up some kid"

"Yeah, you're right" the latina sighs as her wife leads her into the kitchen, eyeing the hard wooden chairs in disdain and choosing to lean against the fridge while Quinn hands her a glass of water and her pills. Quinn watches as Santana places the pills in her mouth and chases them back with most of the water in her glass.

"You'll feel better soon, you'll be able to go back to work and make more interns cry and make them do every disgusing job you can think off" the blonde smiles, laughing at the grin that spreads across the other woman's face. "You love the fact that they're scared of you, don't you?"

"I have to admit, it's huge confidence boost when a full grown man trembles at the sight of you" Santana laughs, frowning slightly as she thinks about the night before. "I'm sure Adams is getting a kick out of me being a patient last night" she murmurs.

"I'm sure you'll make him pay for whatever laughing he does at your expense. Now why don't you go lay on the couch while I make some breakfast. You want coffee?"

"Yeah, thanks baby. I'm sorry I kicked you out of bed" Santana murmurs with an embarrassed blush spreading across her face.

"That's alright" Quinn chuckles, leaning a warm kiss on the Latina's forehead. "Go get comfortable" she smiles, watching as her wife awkwardly shuffles out of the kitchen. She thinks about what Santana said as she prepares the pancake mix, still reeling over the fact that her wife mentioned kids. She's not really sure how she feels about having kids, after everything she went through with Beth she hadn't ever really thought about whether she wanted another baby or not. The blonde is surprised that the drama she caused with Beth hasn't put Santana off of having kids. Sighing, she decides to forget it until her wife is no longer in pain before starting a discussion about it, giving herself more time to think about it as well.

_Santana leans against the counter as she drinks her coffee, thinking about last night's events with a deep frown on her features. She knows that she needs to speak to Quinn but at the same time she needs to work out exactly what she's feeling and thinking before she does that. The latina sighs heavily as she listens to her girlfriend moving around upstairs and wonders if she is also thinking about last night. Was it some sort of cry for help or did Quinn just get carried away in the moment? The sound of the blonde's footsteps get closer and Santana pushes away from the counter and pours Quinn a glass of orange juice as the other girl walks into the kitchen._

_"Morning" Quinn mutters, accepting the glass and slumping down at the kitchen table, feeling her girlfriend's gaze on her and trying to ignore it. Santana grabs the blonde's vitamins from the cupboard and sets them down in front of the other girl, sitting down opposite her. The latina studies her girlfriend, noticing that she is avoiding eye contact with her and she reaches across the table to take a pale hand into hers._

_"What happened last night babe?" she asks quietly._

_"I don't know, I guess I got carried away" Quinn murmurs, her guilt filled gaze lifting from the table to meet unreadable brown. "I wouldn't have forced you, you know that right?"_

_"Yeah, I do. Are you struggling with things Quinn?" Santana asks, figuring it's best not to beat around the bush. The blonde sighs, holding Santana's gaze for a moment and thinking about the question._

_"No" she finally states. _

_"Are you sure?" the latina asks carefully, concern in her dark, almost black, eyes._

_"I'm fine. I promise I will come to you if I need to" Quinn tells her. "I'm so sorry about last night, I got carried away but I swear that's all it was" Santana eyes her doubtfully for a few seconds before nodding, their arrangement needs trust to work and that trust has to go both ways._

_"Okay,good. I appreciate your apology, how about we just put this behind us?" the latina suggests, Quinn nodding in relief. "What time are you babysitting tonight?"_

_"Around six, could I borrow your car so that I can pick Puckerman up on the way?" Quinn asks, "I figure it'd be best if I went with him rather than turn up before him and have to make awkward small talk with Shelby"_

_"Yeah, that's fine. Are you going to be okay doing this?" Santana questions lightly, wanting to make sure her girlfriend can handle this but without making her nervous about it._

_"Yeah, I think so. Puck will be there so If I need to leave, I can" the other girl responds with a small smile._

_0-00-0_

_Quinn swallows heavily as she stares back at the child in her arms, Beth staring back at her with wide inquisitive eyes that are so much like her own. She watches as the little girl she gave birth to eyes her curiously, as though trying to work out if the teenager should be trusted. The young woman sits down on Shelby's sofa with Beth still in her arms and she rocks her gently, still amazed that she's seeing the child after giving her up eighteen months ago with no expections of ever having contact again. Quinn smiles as small chubby fingers play with her hair, Beth squealing excitedly when the teenager tickles her sides._

_"Alright, I think I have everything I need" Shelby states as she walks out of her bedroom. "Are you sure you'll be alright without Noah?" she asks._

_"Yeah, I'm good. If I struggle with anything it's alright for me to call Santana, right?" Quinn questions._

_"Of course. From what I've seen she's certainly someone that can be trusted" Shelby smiles, grabbing her keys and stuffing them into her purse. "Emergency numbers are on the fridge and you can help yourself to anything in the kitchen, my laptop is in the study and there's hundreds of dvds on the shelves. Are you sure you're alright?" the woman asks, searching the younger woman's face for any signs of discomfort._

_"We'll be fine" Quinn replies with a smile._

_"Alright, call me if you need to" Shelby says, bending down to kiss Beth's head, "Bye baby girl, be good for Quinn, Mommy loves you" she murmurs before sending Quinn a reassuring smile and leaving the apartment. Quinn sighs softly and checks her cell phone and sends a quick message to Sheila and standing up with Beth and pacing back and forth with her until she hears the knock at the door and she rushes to open it._

_"She's gone, her car turned left so you have a clear route to the bus station" Sheila tells her as she brushes past the blonde. "Wow..she looks just like you Q. Go grab what you need, I'll take her" the girl adds. Quinn nods and hands Beth to the skank, leaving the room and heading into Shelby's bedroom and looking around for a suitcase. She finds a duffel bag under the bed and starts rooting through the drawers, grabbing as much of Beth's clothes as she can find and stuffing them into the bag. Quinn notices a picture of Rachel sitting on the bedside table and she picks it up, noticing it is from regionals in sophomore year by the outfit Rachel is wearing. Somewhere in the back of her mind she can hear Santana's voice yelling at her to stop what she is doing but in her cloud of desperation she doesn't want to listen, thinking she's doing the right thing and this picture only ensures the insane notion. Shelby obviously misses the child she gave up and would understand her need to have Beth back where she belongs, with the woman who gave birth to her. Quinn zips up the duffel and throws it over her shoulder, placing the photo back on the bedside table before walking back into the livingroom and taking Beth into our arms and nodding in the direction of the carseat, Sheila taking the hint and picking it up._

_"Come on sweetheart" she murmurs soothingly to the little girl, leading Sheila to the door and out into the apartment stairwell. "We'll need to be quick, before anyone finds out I lied about Puck being here" Quinn tells her friend quietly._

_"We only need enough time to get you to the bus station and then we're good" the girl responds. "You and your daughter will be out of here"_

_**Please drop me a review to let me know what you think. Thank you for reading :)**_


	26. Chapter 26

_**I do not own Glee or the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**I know some of you are more attached to the present parts of the story but the flashbacks are the main focus of the story so there will still be more flashbacks than present time :)**_

_**Thank you for your reviews :)**_

_**Flashbacks are in Italics.**_

Chapter 26

_Santana chuckles as Sofia brushes passed her in the doorway, grumbling in spanish as she heads to the livingroom while her older cousin waves goodbye to her parents. She waits until her aunt and uncle's car reaches the end of the street before closing the door and following her disgruntled cousin into the livingroom, almost tripping over the rucksack that Sofia dumped in the doorway and nudging it out of the way with her foot._

_"I can't believe they think I need a babysitter" the younger latina grumbles, sighing when Santana snatches the remote control and slumps down next to her on the sofa. "I'm not a child!"_

_"Count yourself lucky princesa, my babysitter was an old lady that smelled like beets and talked to her cats more than she talked to me" Santana tells her, "At least you get someone awesome like me" she adds with a smirk. "Plus, Quinn will be home soon, she's babysitting with Puck"_

_"Uh, no she's not. Noah is at my neighbour's house, the short blonde girl from your cheerleading squad" Sofia states._

_"What? He left Quinn on her own to screw around with Melissa? That mierda hijo de puta!" Santana hisses, suddenly springing to her feet and reaching for her cell phone that is on the coffee table._

_"What's the big deal? It's just babysitting San" the younger latina says in confusion._

_"Yeah, well it's her first time" Santana stutters, Sofia noticing straight away that her older cousin isn't telling her everything._

_"It's her baby, isn't it?" the girl murmurs softly. "People talk at school, at first they always talked about how you guys were dating but then some of the older girls told us about what happened during you and Quinn's sophomore year...between Noah and Quinn. She's babysitting for the same kid, right?" Santana studies her younger cousin before sighing and nodding. "It's cool, I'm not going to ask you anything. It's none of my business, I know that Quinn has been going through some stuff and everyone at school knows you've been helping her. That's all I know and that's all I need to know" Sofia adds quietly._

_"Gracias Princesa" Santana murmurs, kissing the younger girl's forhead before sending Puck a furious text, demanding that the man get his ass to her house immediately, knowing he'd assume it is an emergency and haul ass from a few blocks over._

_"Maybe she just wanted to try it out on her own, she may just want to prove herself. If Quinn knows you're freaking out when there's a huge chance nothing is wrong, it could come across like you don't trust her" Sofia tells the older latina calmly._

_"Yeah, maybe" Santana sighs, slumping back down onto the sofa with her head in her hands, Sophia placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Am I overreacting?" she asks quietly._

_"You don't know the details yet so I would say, yes. Find out what's going on before you react and spill blood on Aunt Gloria's persian rug because she'd kinda kill you" the freshman jokes, relieved to spot Santana's trademark smirk pulling at her full lips._

0-00-0

Santana notices the smirks on her interns' faces as she leads them on rounds, doing her best to ignore them and resisting the urge to strangle Adams for opening his stupid mouth. She glares at him, satisfied when he quickly looks away from her, seemingly finding his sneakers extremely interesting. She smiles at Rose as the older woman approaches her, handing her a couple of charts before winking at her and walking back to the nurses' station. Santana quickly scans the charts and hands one straight to Adams.

"Doctor Adams, it seems Mr Shaw is back with yet another case of pubic lice, why don't you take care of this one" the latina tells him, a sickenly sweet smile on her face, watching as he begrudgingly walks away from the group. "Does anyone else find my injury amusing?" she asks, scanning the faces of her other interns, all of them grimly shaking their heads in the negative. "Yeah, didn't think so" the latina states, turning on her heel and leading them to the next patient. "Alright, everyone take a chart and get started on the work-up, come find me when you need me" Santana tells them, "And no looking through them for the good cases, take the first one you come to and accept it" she adds, walking away from them and heading to the doctors' lounge.

"Hola chica sexy!" she hears before she can reach the door and she spins around to see Sofia walking towards her.

"Sofia! What are you doing here?" the doctor grins, wrapping her cousin into a bone-crushing hug. "It's good to see you Princesa" she adds.

"You too! Unfortunately, it's not a social call. My boss had a conference here and he collapsed on the way to the hotel, they think it's a heart attack and he needs some sort of surgery and apparently the head of cardio here is the best" Sofia explains.

"Yeah, he is. Doctor Carter is amazing, I worked with him when I was a med student. I almost chose surgery after my rotation up there, I fell in love with the ER at the last second" Santana smiles. "Is your boss up there now? You want to come up? I can try and find out some more about him for you" she adds, throwing her arm around the slightly shorter latina's shoulder and steering her in the direction of the elevator.

"So, how's your ass?" Sofia asks with a smirk.

"How the hell did you know about that? Did Quinn tell you?" Santana asks with a scowl, unimpressed that even more people know about it.

"No, my Mom did. Your Mom told her" the younger woman laughs. "How are you and Quinn doing?" she asks as they wait for the elavator.

"We're alright..I think" Santana murmurs with a frown.

"You think? What's going on San? You guys having problems?" Sofia asks in concern, her brow furrowing.

"No, not problems, it's just..things have been a little weird recently. Quinn's being kind quiet since I mentioned the idea of us having kids, I'm kinda scared to ask her about it" the older latina admits quietly, following Sofia into the elavator and pressing the button for the top floor. "I dunno, maybe I'm reading too much into it" she adds.

"You? Reading too much into something? Wow that like never happens" Sofia states saracastically. "Seriously though, why not just ask her about it? I mean, you've discussed having kids before, right?" she asks, rolling her eyes when her cousin shakes her head. "You're telling me that in ten years you guys haven't discussed starting a family?"

"We've never spoken about it. We've both been focusing on each other and our careers and well, I'd love to have kids, I think I always have" Santana sighs.

"Well talk to Quinn, she's not the same person she was ten years ago" Sofia tells her softly, "I think sometimes you forget that. Everything that happened back then was hard for you both but you got through it" she adds carefully.

"What if she doesn't want kids? What if everything that happened with Beth put her off?" Santana asks in a small voice and Sofia gazes at her sadly with no idea how to respond.

_Puck stands in silence as Santana lectures him in spanish, he had learned a long time ago to just wait until she is finished, the fact that Puck can't speak spanish never seeming to worry the latina. He rolls his eyes when he recognises a few of her more stronger words, glad when Sofia steps forward and places her hand on her cousin's arm._

_"Remember what I said. I know you're worried but you haven't given him a chance to talk" the younger teenager murmurs and Puck watches as Santana's anger deflates._

_"Sorry" Santana mutters. "Why aren't you with Quinn?" she asks._

_"What are you talking about? Quinn told me you were going with her and that I didn't need to" Puck says in confusion. _

_"She told me that you were going to be there" the latina replies, feeling worry rise from the pit of her stomach. "Why would she lie? If she wanted to do it herself then why didn't she just say so?" Santana questions, mainly speaking to herself. "Do you think she thinks we don't trust her?"_

_"I don't know. Have you called her?" Pucks asks her._

_"Yeah, she's not answering" Santana mumbles._

_"Okay, then we go there. She can't accuse us of not trusting her if she's lying to us" the man states. "Come on" he adds, making for the front door. Santana hesitates when she notices Sofia starting to follow Noah and the younger girl rolls her eyes._

_"I'm going with you. We can stand here and argue about it and waste some time if you like" Sofia tells her with a pointed look, Santana shrugging and leading her to thr front door, the older latina praying that Quinn is okay and that she hasn't missed something, hasn't let her down. She follows Puck in silence and climbs into the front seat, her stomach knotting with worry. Puck glances at Santana out of the corner of his eye, growing concerned at the look of guilt spread across her features._

_"You okay?" he asks quietly._

_"Something's going on. I've missed something, I knew she was slipping, I just knew it" Santana mutters._

_"Stop feeling so guilty. We don't even know that anything is happening, just be calm" Puck tells her. "Even if there is something going on there was nothing you could have done to prevent it and there's not much you can do once something's happened, IF it happens" he adds. Santana stays silent, knowing what he's saying isn't exactly true but no matter what is going on, she would never embarrass Quinn by revealing their arrangement. She stares out of the window at the passing houses, hoping and praying her gut feeling is wrong and that Quinn is completely fine. She can feel Sofia's gaze on her and she instantly regrets bringing her, despite the fact the younger girl would have argued her way into the car even if Santana had tried to put her foot down._

_"I can't see my car anywhere" Santana murmurs, starting to panic as the pull up outside Shelby's apartment building._

_"There may not have been space when she got here, she could have easily parked somewhere else on the block" Puck states calmly. "We'll go up there" he adds._

_"Stay here Sofia" Santana tells her little cousin firmly. "Stay here" she snaps when Sofia goes to get out of the car anyway. The Latina sends the girl a warning glare as she gets out of the car, slamming the door closed and following Noah along the sidewalk. "I can't believe she lied" she mutters and Puck places a reassuring arm around her shoulders as they walk._

_"Everything's fine San" the Mohawked teenager replies warmly._

_"She's been so different. Ugh I'm so stupid" the Latina groans, leaning against her friend's side._

_"No, you're not. Quinn is the one that's being stupid by lying to you, she has no reason to do that" Noah retorts firmly as he pulls open the glass door and leads Santana to the elevator. "Stop worrying. We're gonna get up there and see that Quinn is fine and then you can yell at her and withhold sex for lying to you" Puck jokes, trying to lighten the mood and realising it isn't working when the latina's face darkens. They step into the elevator before the door has even slid all the way open and Noah pushes the button for the third floor. Santana clenches her jaw as she tries to block out the irritating elevator music as they make their way to the third floor, annoying slowly, in the latina's opinion. She's grateful for Puck's presence, his broad arm still firmly wrapped around her shoulders. Noah feels the girl's whole body heave with the force of her sigh as the elevator doors finally slide open, the latina springing out from underneath her friend's arm and striding along the hall. She realises she doesn't know which apartment is Shelby's and she stops in her tracks, standing lamely in the middle of the hall as Noah jogs to catch up with her. He points the way and walks one step ahead of her, knocking on the door and opening it, walking in and looking around the empty livingroom._

_"Quinn?" Santana calls out, exchanging a concerned look with Puck._

_"Maybe she took Beth for a drive to get her to sleep" he suggests, walking across the room to look into the other rooms, freezing when he spots the recently ransacked chest of drawers in Shelby's bedroom. He frowns as he looks around the room and walks across to the drawers, noticing that most of Beth's clothes are gone. "Shit!" he snaps, running back to the livingroom. "She took her" Puck exclaims to Santana who instantly pales._

_"What the hell do we do?" the latina demands loudly._

_"Call everyone in glee club, we need to find her before Shelby knows she's gone" Noah tells her, pulling his cell phone from his pocket and storming back out of the apartment. Santana follows on shaky legs, struggling to believe that this is actually happening._

_"I've completely failed her" she whispers to herself, trying to force herself to think rationally so that she can focus on finding them._

_**Drop me a review to let me know what you think :) Thank you for reading, I'll do my best to get the next chapter finished within the next couple of days.**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you for the reviews for the last chapter, I'm glad some of you are still liking this story. I've been trying my best to update this as quick as I can and the reviews totally motivate me.**_

_**Flashbacks are in italics. **_

_**R&R please.**_

Chapter 27

_Santana sighs loudly as Quinn's cell phone goes straight to the voicemail for the seventh time in the last half hour. She looks around the parking lot of Shelby's apartment building and notices that her fellow glee club members have started to arrive, even Brittany. Mike approaches her quietly and awkwardly pats her shoulder in a reassuring manner, unsure how to engage with the Latina as he doesn't really know her all that well._

_"You okay to go with Mike?" Puck asks as he walks over to them, "It's probably best for the people who know Quinn the best to separate so that we can cover more ground" he adds._

_"Yeah, that's fine. Where's Sofia?" the Latina asks, looking around for the younger Latina._

_"I sent her back to your place with Tina, I figure someone should be there just in case Quinn decides to go home. I also figure Tina would be a better person than Berry to be there" Noah explains._

_"Oh, okay thanks Puck" Santana murmurs._

_"Everyone's splitting up, where are you guys gonna go?" he asks._

_"I'm gonna go talk to the skanks" the Latina states._

_"Alright, call if you find anything out" Noah tells her, pulling the girl into a tight hug. Santana nods and gestures for Mike to lead the way to his car, Puck pulling the Asian man back for a second, "Don't let her lose it with any of them, she's protective of Quinn" he mutters and Mike nods before walking after Santana. He climbs into the driver's seat of his car and turns to face the exhausted looking latina._

_"Where to? Do they still hang out at the skate park?" Mike asks._

_"Uh, yeah I think so. I know where a couple of them live too but the skate park is probably the best place to check" Santana responds, Mike nodding and starting the car, realising the latina isn't in any mood to talk and chooses to focus only on driving and leaving her to her thoughts. He keeps an eye out for Quinn as he drives them through the dark streets of Lima, hoping for Santana's sake that they find her soon. It makes him nervous that the usually so strong Latina is nervous, wondering if he is seeing the side of the girl that Brittany, used to, and Quinn only see. He glances at her, unsure of how to talk to this version of Santana and she briefly meets his gaze, flashing him a small grateful smile before turning her head back to the window._

_"She's okay" Mike states softly, realising this is what everyone must be saying to her, despite nobody knowing if Quinn really is okay. "If she isn't then she will be" he adds, feeling the Latina turn to look at him and he glances at her again, noticing the curious expression on her features._

_"Why are you talking to me?" she asks quietly, "I mean, I get why you're doing this, everyone loves Quinn and wants to help her but why are you being supportive to me?" Santana asks._

_"Not everyone buys your badass, not caring what anyone thinks attitude. In fact, nobody buys it anymore, you can't expect us to not realise that you're actually a decent person when we've all seen Quinn's transformation. You stepped up and got through to her when no-one else could and we can all see that you and Quinn love each other and, as far as I can tell, it's real and it's gonna last" Mike tells her softly. "Everyone says Glee club is a family so let us in, because I know for a fact that we all want it" he adds carefully as he pulls his car up to the edge of the sidewalk._

_"Thank you" Santana murmurs, almost shyly, having not expected that response from the young man. Mike nods and smiles at her before turning to gaze at the skatepark._

_"I can see a few of the skanks but I don't see Quinn or Beth" he sighs._

_"Neither do I" Santana states sadly. "I'll go see if they've spoken to her" she adds, getting out of the car, noticing that Mike immediately follows her. The latina strides across the skate park, not even flinching when some kid almost crashes into her on his skateboard and she heads straight for the skanks, her eyes zeroing in on Sheila. "Where's Quinn?" she asks harshly, feeling Mike's hand clasp her shoulder, ready to pull her way if he needs to._

_"Quinn? I haven't seen Quinn all day" Sheila says faux innocently, "Has she gone missing or something?" she asks with a smirk, Santana knowing straight away that the skank knows exactly where her girlfriend is. The latina's hbic glare makes it's first appearance for a long time as she steps into Sheila's personal space, glad to notice she has a couple inches on the other girl and that the other skanks are keeping their distance._

_"Where is she?" Santana demands fiercely, "This isn't a joke, she has Beth. She isn't Beth's mother anymore and her actual mother will be home soon and she's not going to be happy to find out the person she trusted with her kid has taken her so where the fuck is she?" she asks loudly, almost nose to nose with Sheila as she glares into her pale face._

_"She's gone. Without you" Sheila states harshly. "She grabbed her kid and she left you behind" she adds with a smirk and Santana slaps her, the girl's head snapping to the side with the force of it._

_"If I can't find her before Shelby or even the police do, I'll be back" the latina sneers in a dangerous tone, suddenly aware of Mike's arms around her waist, the man pulling her backwards._

_"We need to go check the bus station" he whispers in her ear, not wanting Sheila to overhear and warn Quinn. Santana nods, still breathing heavily as he leads her back to the car, glad that he came with her, knowing that if she had completely lost it with Sheila then it would have just wasted time._

0-00-0

Santana grins at the squeal that leaves Quinn's mouth as she spots Sofia, the blonde brushing passed Santana to pull Sofia into a hug, completely ignoring her wife. Santana opens her mouth to question where her greeting is but it cut off by the small body slamming into her legs, Mike and Tina's five year old son throwing his arms around the latina's waist.

"Hey buddy!" she grins, lifting him up and sitting him on her hip. "Jeez, you're getting too big for that" she exclaims, tapping his nose with her finger and grinning when he kisses her cheek.

"Daddy said you broke your butt" Aaron says with a giggle and Santana scowls at the man sitting on _her_ sofa and drinking _her_ coffee, obviously extremely pleased with himself for adding more humiliation to the latina's situation.

"Well, I'm about to break your butt with my foot if you don't wipe that grin off of your cute little face" Santana playfully threatens, placing him back on his feet and ruffling his hair. "Hi baby" she smiles when Quinn finally notices her.

"Sorry" Quinn chuckles, pressing a gentle kiss to her wife's lips. "How was your day?"

"I had to scare my interns back into line but after that it was okay, I told Sofia she could stay here for few days, is that okay? I didn't think to text you first, sorry" Santana murmurs, suddenly unsure of herself.

"No, it's perfectly alright. She's family" Quinn smiles, wrapping her arms around her wife and hugging her gently. "How's your tailbone today?" she asks quietly, only just loud enough for Santana to hear.

"Not too bad, the painkillers are helping. How was your day with Mike and Aaron?" Santana questions, shooting the asian man a mock glare over her wife's shoulder, Mike just laughing at her and putting his feet up on the coffee table and chatting to Sofia.

"It was good, Aaron was really cute when we were at the zoo, he kept copying the penguins" Quinn chuckles, "I'm exhausted though, that's the best thing about having friends with cute kids, you get to see all the good stuff and then say goodbye to them at the end of the day" she laughs quietly and Santana frowns at another strike against her idea of them having kids. She pulls away from her wife with a tight smile, heading to the kitchen to grab her and Sofia a mug of coffee before joining Mike and her cousin on the sofa, avoiding eye contact with Quinn. What the hell is she supposed to say about that? She looks over at Aaron who is animatedly introducing himself to Sofia, despite the fact that he has met her several times in the past. How can both people in a couple be completely happy if they both want different things?

"Talk before you build up those walls" Sofia whispers to her with a pointed look on her tanned features. Santana nods, forcing herself to look over at Quinn, surprised to see the blonde staring back at her, studying the latina curiously.

_Quinn bounces Beth gently as the tiny girl starts to whimper, looking around at their surroundings with wide eyes, searching the crowd for something and Quinn realises with a pang of sadness that the child is looking for shelby. Quinn glances up at the tv screen that's on the wall, sighing when she sees her bus is still delayed and she hugs Beth close to her body as the child starts to voice her displeasure at being away from Shelby for too long._

_"It's okay baby girl, I've got you" She murmurs into her birth daughter's ear, "We're gonna go somewhere far away and be a proper family, you're back with your real mommy now" she whispers in a soothing voice, panicking when it doesn't work and Shelby starts to cry louder, gaining them some annoyed looks from other people at the station. She sighs and picks her duffel bag up from the floor, brushing her way through the crowd of disgruntled passengers that are impatiently waiting for their bus and she takes Beth out into the quiet parking lot. "Come on Beth, be good, we'll be out of here soon" she says softly._

_"Where exactly are you gonna go?" Quinn hears from behind her and she spins around to see Brittany and Rachel walking towards her, the blonde signalling to Rachel and the diva standing back as the dancer continues walking towards Quinn and beth. "What are you doing?" she asks softly. "Shelby is Beth's mother, she's raised her and loved her Quinn"_

_"She's not her real mother!" Quinn snaps, glaring at the other girl._

_"You really think genetics is all that matters? My little cousin was adopted and he isn't loved any less than any other member of my family, Rachel is only biologically related to her one of her fathers and that hasn't affected her in any way" Brittany explains carefully. "If you and Santana have a kid in the future, is that child going to be loved less by one of you?" she asks, noticing Quinn's face fall at the mention of the latina's name. "You didn't think about her when you thought of this insane plan did you?" Brittany asks knowingly._

_"She's better off without me" Quinn spits, "You said that yourself, I'm just dragging her down!"_

_"I didn't mean it" Brittany whispers, "I was jealous, I had thrown someone so special away and she got over it, she fell for you rather than beg me to take her back" she states. "I'm so sorry Quinn. I was wrong, I know that now" she adds. "Please Quinn, think about what you're doing, you gave her up for a reason, please try to think about why you did it and ask yourself, is Beth going to be happier hiding out with the person who kidnapped her or with the woman who can give her anything she wants or needs" Brittany tells her, her ice blue eyes pleading with the girl she used to be friends with. "Realise that you're doing the wrong thing and stop. If you can't do it for yourself then think about Santana, you're just leaving her"_

_"She always tells me to do things for myself, to look out for me first" Quinn whispers, her voice cracking painfully._

_"Well then listen to her" Brittany tells her firmly. "If Shelby goes home and Beth isn't there she could call the police, you want to be a lawyer right? That won't happen if you get charged with kidnapping, do it for yourself and stop" she adds, holding her arms out for Beth and relief courses through her as the other blonde hands the child to her, Brittany handing her to Rachel and grabbing onto Quinn as she breaks down, falling to her knees on the damp concrete. The dancer wraps her arms around the girl, Quinn sobbing into her chest, her whole body heaving with the force behind her cries and she grips onto Brittany, vaguely hearing Rachel tell Brittany that Santana is on her way._

_**Please drop me a review to let me know what you think. Thank you for reading. If this chapter gets the reviews up to 210 then I'll update again tomorrow :)**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Your reviews keep me motivated so thank you very much! I got a few PMs asking why I didn't update the next day when the reviews reached 210, it's because the 210th review came a couple of days after. I'm not holding out on you :)**_

_**Flashbacks are in italics - R&R please.**_

Chapter 28

_Quinn watches through wet, puffy eyes as Santana makes their way towards them, Mike following close behind her and speaking to her in a tone too low for Quinn to make out what he is saying. Santana avoids looking at her girlfriend as she walks straight over to Rachel, talking to her quietly, the diva nodding, pulling her cell phone from her purse and walking away from the group for some privacy. Quinn cringes when her girlfriend finally meets her gaze, seeing a mixture of concern, disappointment and anger in those dark stormy eyes and she looks away, staring at the gravel underneath her feet. It finally dawns on her just how insane her recent behaviour has been and she feels guilt claw at her heart as she thinks how Santana must be feeling. How could she think about just walking out on her like that? Even if her planned departure had been thought out and sensible or even if they broke up in the future, would she really be able to leave the latina without so much as one word to her? After everything she had done for her, nursing her back to health and giving her the love and stability she needs? Quinn chokes back another sob as a fresh wave of tears cascade down her porcelain cheeks, the sense of overwhelming guilt feeling as though it's eating her alive. She can hear Santana talking to Brittany and the dancer's arms squeeze her reassuringly once more before slipping away, only to be replaced by Mike's and he gently pulls Quinn to her feet and walks her over to Santana's car, the latina behind them with a bawling Beth in her arms. Quinn feels a hand slip into her jacket pocket and pull Santana's car keys out, she had forgotten she had been borrowing the other girl's car and for some reason, this only adds to her guilt, despite the fact Santana had been the one to suggest it._

_"Mind your head Quinn" Mike murmurs to her as he guides her into the front passenger seat. The blonde knows he and Santana are talking about her, hearing phrases like 'in shock' and 'not herself' being used. She jumps when the car door closes and Mike gives her an apologetic look through the glass before turning back to Santana and speaking to her, the latina nodding, handing Beth to him and walking around to her side of the car and opening the door. Quinn watches silently as Santana pulls her seat forward and removes Beth's carseat from the backseat, handing it to Mike as she climbs back out of the car. The latina kisses their friend's cheek and he responds by placing the carseat on the ground and pulling her into a one armed hug that the girl seems to sink into. Santana leans against the hood of her car as the man departs, staying there long after his car leaves and Quinn notices the girl's shoulders shaking and wishes she wasn't the cause of the latina's distressed tears just so she can comfort her. She watches silently, her own tears burning her already stinging eyes, as Santana struggles to pull herself together, swiping at relentless tears and pushing away from the car. Their eyes meet through the glass for a fleeting second and Quinn flinches back from the raw emotion in the darker girl's gaze, knowing that all the pain, anger and sadness in them is because of her. The latina runs her hand through her sleek, jet black locks and opens the car door, sliding into the driver's seat and avoiding looking in Quinn's direction and closing the door much more firmly than necessary, the loud thump sounding like a gun shot that interrupts their silence._

_"San..." the blonde whispers, Santana shaking her head and holding up a tanned hand to signal that she doesn't want to hear it and Quinn sinks back into her seat, fresh tears leaking from her guilt filled hazel eyes. The latina starts the car, her hands tightly gripping the steering wheel in an effort to control her erupting emotions, her knuckles glowing white from the pressure and contrasting against her golden skin. Santana stares out in front of her as she drives them back to her house, willing herself to not acknowledge the other girl, knowing she wouldn't be able to control the tears that want to start again if she looks at her._

_"Shelby knows" Santana states quietly, eventually breaking the intense silence, her gaze still glued to the road. "Mike is taking Beth home, Puck is gonna meet him there and plead your case with Shelby. You and I will go there tomorrow and you will apologise and beg on your goddamn knees if you have to, to ensure that she doesn't press any charges. I called and made an appointment with Dr Roberts for you tomorrow, you obviously still have some issues you need to address" the latina states much more harshly than she intended but still too furious with the blonde to apologise for her own lack of tact. Quinn turns to look out of the window to try and hide the fact that yet more tears are brimming in her eyes, feeling guilty for being so torn up, for hurting Santana even though the latina is the one person who would do anything for her. They are both silent for the rest of the car ride home, Santana unable to trust herself to speak again and Quinn too scared to make things worse, to encourage the latina to just completely give up on her. The blonde jumps out of the car as soon as the other girl rolls it to a stop in the driveway, walking up the path ahead of Santana but stopping when she realises she doesn't have her keys with her and she stands there awkwardly as the latina brushes passed her and unlocks the door. "Go to the kitchen, I'll make you something to eat" the hispanic girl tells her firmly, leaving no room for argument as she heads into the livingroom to find Sofia sitting on the sofa with Tina, both of them looking at her anxiously, both of them sighing with relief when Quinn shuffles in behind Santana._

_"Are you okay?" Sofia asks softly, her gaze flitting between her older cousin and the emotionally drained looking blonde._

_"Go to the kitchen, I'll make you something to eat" Santana repeats, her dark eyes flashing in annoyance at having to repeat herself but she is aware that saying anything else would cause Quinn some embarrassment and the girl has caused enough of that for herself! "Sofia, can you go grab the spare sheets from the cupboard under the stairs, you're sleeping in my Mom and Dad's room tonight, I'll be up in a minute to help you change them" Santana tells her cousin, the younger latina giving her a small reassuring smile before leaving the livingroom._

_"Mike's on his way to pick me up, he said he'll talk to you once he gets here" Tina informs her fellow glee club member, watching her warily and waiting for Santana to snap at her or insult her in a defensive attack, shocked when the latina just nods and slumps down next to her. "Stupid question but, are you okay?" she asks her softly._

_"Yeah, I think so. Thanks for staying here with Sofia, I didn't really want her out there looking for Quinn" Santana murmurs._

_"Don't worry about it" Tina replies gently. "You do know she just wasn't thinking straight, right? If she had stopped to actually think about what she was doing and thought about you, she'd never have done it" she tells the latina quietly._

_"That's just it, she didn't even think about me. Everything I do is for her...is it wrong of me to feel like this?" Santana asks in a pained whisper._

_"It's never wrong for anyone to feel anything, how do you feel?" the asian girl asks carefully, trying to work out where the latina's boundary line is._

_"Abandoned. Forgotten. I don't know, I just don't understand how she couldn't think of me, how she could just forget about me and leave." Santana mutters, Tina looking on helplessly, praying she knew what to say to the heartbroken girl next to her._

0-00-0

Santana closes the door after Mike and Aaron leave, rolling her eyes at Sofia who smirks at her, clearly still amused from all the ass jokes Mike cracked during his visit. She feels slightly better about it when she thinks about how much her friend will be in trouble with Tina when their child starts repeating a few of the less child friendly jokes that came up. The latina flips her cousin off when the younger woman smiles at her, Sofia laughing at her and walking into the kitchen, moving slightly quicker than usual out of fear that Santana is chasing after her.

"You're such a dork" Santana mutters, following her into the kitchen and walking up behind Quinn and wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist as Quinn looks into the fridge with disdain, almost willing it to fill itself with fridge. "We should go out for dinner and just go to the grocery store tomorrow" Santana suggests, resting her chin on her wife's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm in the mood for some italian" Quinn replies, "How about you guys?"

"Count me out, I'm gonna go back to the hospital for a little while, i'll just grab something while I'm out" Sofia states, "You guys go" she adds with a pointed look in Santana's direction. "I'll see you ladies later" the younger latina smiles, grabbing her purse and heading for the door.

"Bye" Quinn calls after her. "Do you wanna just order in?" she asks her wife with a sigh. "Maybe we can make out a little?" she adds with a smirk, kicking the fridge closed and turning around in Santana's arms to place a tender kiss to the other woman's full lips, feeling and hearing the latina sigh softly. "What is it? Are you not in the mood?" Quinn asks in concern. "But you're always in the mood" she adds with confusion lacing her tone. causing Santana to chuckle lightly and nod.

"It's not that babe, I just...I kinda wanted to talk to you about something first, something that's been on my mind for a while actually" Santana admits quietly.

"What is it? Is everything okay?" Quinn questions with a furrowed brow, her hazel eyes frantically searching the tanned woman's face for some sort of answer. Her frown deepening when she notices the nervous expression taking over her wife's stunning features, the latina gazing at her silently for a moment.

"You don't want kids" Santana blurts out, shocking the blonde woman and inwardly cursing herself for not being more tactful about it, the words sounding more like an accusation than a statement. "Do you?" she asks quietly, suddenly wishing she had just left it and enjoyed the night with her wife. Quinn's eyes widen and she stares back at Santana silently before shaking her head, seeing the latina's face fall and her shoulders slump. "Are you telling me that you wouldn't love to hold a tiny version of you or me in your arms and smell that beautiful baby's head or feel their tiny fist grip around your finger? Or to hold that child against you, knowing you're one of the few people in the world that can make them feel better? Or to have someone look up to you, think the world of you and love you unconditionally, you don't want that?" Santana asks sadly, unable to understand why anyone wouldn't want that.

"I don't" Quinn replies simply. "I had a baby, a baby that I love and miss to this day. I don't want another one. I thought you knew that"

"No, I didn't. I thought I was gonna have a family with you" the latina mutters sadly, pulling back from her wife and folding her arms across her chest.

"I don't want kids" the blonde states firmly.

"You don't even want to talk about it?" Santana asks in disbelief.

"No. I don't want kids" Quinn repeats loudly and slowly and her wife huffs, glaring at her.

"I'm not an idiot so don't talk to me like one" the latina snaps. "I'm going to bed" she adds, brushing passed the other woman and storming to their bedroom, slamming the door behind her and leaning against it, breathing heavily. She slides down the door, ignoring the slight ache that shoots across her lower back as her backside meets the carpet, drawing her knees into her chest and sobbing into them. Santana can hear her wife slam the kitchen door closed, a second quieter thump making her think Quinn kicked or punched the wood and she feels more tears brim in her dark eyes. How could two people who went so well together want such different things? How can they continue to work so well now that they both know that the other doesn't want their future to be the same? She pushes herself to her feet, only to drag herself onto her and Quinn's bed and collapse into her pillow, staring out of the window at the sunset as she cries herself to sleep.

_Quinn wakes up in her own bedroom, her heart aching when she realises she's alone and not wrapped in her girlfriend's warm and comforting arms. She listens for signs of Santana moving around in the bathroom or making her way back to her but after a few moments she accepts that the Latina must have just slept in her own bed. Sighing softly, she sits up and swings her legs over the edge of the bed, noticing a note stuck to the back of the bedroom door. Quinn throws her sweatpants on underneath the large t'shirt she is wearing and glances back at the note. She pads across the room and takes the note into her hand, feeling her heart soar at the words written in the latina's best script. _

_'Just because I'm not here doesn't mean I'm not here'_

_Quinn smiles at Santana's note, grateful that the girl still wants to reassure her and not abandon her despite her own anger and hurt. She folds the note and slides it into her pocket and pulls the door open, listening carefully to try and work it where Santana is, the faint sound of canned laughter telling her she is in the livingroom. The blonde slowly makes her way downstairs and lingers in the doorway of the livingroom until Santana looks away from the television to acknowledge her._

_"There's fresh coffee in the pot" Santana tells her simply before turning her attention back to the old sitcom she is watching. Quinn frowns as she walks to the kitchen, why would Santana tell her that there's coffee? Was it just a simple mistake or are the rules no longer in place? Quinn panics, if it's the second one then that must mean their arrangement is no longer in place, the one thing that truly helped her when she allowed it to. She isn't sure what to do, she's too scared to ask Santana just in case the latina tells her she is no longer enforcing the rules, something Quinn isn't ready to hear just yet. The blonde decides to test her girlfriend and she walks across to the coffee pot and pours herself a mug, wondering briefly if maybe the latina is testing her but she shakes it off and picks the half empty mug up. She wanders back into the livingroom, sitting down on the sofa next to Santana and frowning when the latina doesn't even look away from the Tv._

_"Good coffee" Quinn comments, taking a sip and watching the latina for any signs of..well..anything other than the blank stare she's wearing as she continues to watch tv._

_"Just the same kind as usual" Santana murmurs boredly, aiming the remote at the tv and turning the volume up, as though trying to completely block out the other girl's presence._

_"Where's Sofia?" Quinn asks, desperate for some sort of conversation from her girlfriend, wondering why the latina would leave her that note but then barely talk to her._

_"Still asleep in my Mom and Dad's room" the latina mutters, confirming Quinn's suspicions that Santana slept in her own room and didn't just get up early and she watches her sadly, not knowing whether or not she should question why the rules aren't in place and definitely not ready to bring up last night's events. Santana watches as the other girl abruptly stands up and leaves the room, the latina's stomach twisting with guilt as she listens to Quinn go back upstairs but not sure what she should do. She still feels seriously pissed off about everything that transpired last night but at the same time, she's annoyed with herself for being angry. However, the anger she feels, is nothing compared to the gut wrenching hurt she felt last night and still feels this morning, no matter how Quinn was feeling or what she was dealing with, the fact of the matter is; she was going to leave her without even saying anything to her, not one damn word. How is she supposed to just forget about the fact that Quinn forgot about her or maybe didn't even care about what it would do to the latina when she found out that the girl she is in love with just abandoned her? Is she supposed to just shrug it off and punish her and then act as though everything is just amazing between them? The whole point of the punishments is to give redemption and forgiveness, how can that work if the person who is supposed to hand out the punishment isn't ready to forgive or even trust themselves enough to do it without harming the other person, what is went too far? She's ripped from her thoughts when she hears frantic yelling coming from upstairs and she realises it's Sofia's voice, the younger latina screaming for Santana to hurry._

_**Thank you for reading, Please drop me a review to let me know what you think :)**_


	29. Chapter 29

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, it all belongs to RIB and Fox. Anyone you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you very much for all of your great reviews, It means much more than you know!**_

_**I know I've said that this is almost finished but I'd guess there is still around four chapters to go after this, hope you guys stick around. :)**_

_**As usual, flashbacks are in italics.**_

_**R&R please.**_

Chapter 29

Quinn jerks awake and looks around her in confusion, realising a few seconds later that she's in the guest bedroom and she groans as she remembers why. The argument she had with Santana seems a lot bigger now than it had last night now that she thinks about it while laying in bed alone, without her wife to kiss goodmorning. She glances at her watch and notes that Santana would already be at work and she debates texting her goodmorning or not, something they would usually on the rare occasions they were apart in the mornings. The blonde sighs heavily and grabs her cell phone from the nightstand, sending her wife a text that simply read '_Lunch?'_ before dragging herself from bed and heading to the bathroom. She quickly showers and dresses, heading back to the guest bedroom to check her cell phone while brushing her teeth, rolling her eyes when she sees there isn't a response, not even realising that Santana could just be busy but assuming the latina is just ignoring her. The blonde shakes her head as she heads back to the bathroom, remembering about Sofia and wondering where the younger latina is as she places her toothbrush in the holder, realising the woman is probably at the hospital too. She grabs her shoes and slips them on before walking to the door of their apartment, picking her purse up from the coffee table as she passes and slamming the door on her way out. The creepy man from downstairs doesn't phase her like he normally would as she waits for the elavator to reach the parking garage. However, she does wonder why the hell he always seems to be in the damn elevator. Quinn rolls her eyes when he leers at her in what she assumes is supposed to be a flirty manner, stalking out of the doors before they're even fully opened and walking straight to the car, glad that Santana hadn't taken it to work with her as she unlocks it and climbs in. It doesn't take long for Quinn to arrive at the hospital, the roads aren't as busy as they would have been less than an hour ago and she pulls into the parking lot only twenty minutes after leaving the apartment. Drumming her fingers against the steering wheel and glancing at the hospital entrance, Quinn suddenly wonders if it is a good idea for her to be here. Sure, Santana wouldn't cause a scene at her place of work but she would know that is one of her wife's reasons for coming and it would only make matters worse. Her cell phone buzzes and the woman sighs softly as she reads Santana's reply to her lunch offer, '_Sure, come whenever' _Quinn chuckles to herself quietly, the latina always did have impeccable timing. She waits in the car for a few minutes before finally sliding out and locking the vehicle, spotting Santana leaning against the wall of the building, obviously waiting for an ambulance and purposely ignoring her interns that awkwardly stand beside her. The latina looks up and raises an eyebrow at her wife, pushing away from the wall and walking across to the sidewalk where the blonde is.

"You got here pretty fast" Santana comments, begrudgingly accepting a kiss on the cheek from Quinn.

"I was in the area" the blonde shrugs and Santana gives her a weird look, Quinn knowing that her wife sees right through her and she is grateful that the latina doesn't press for more information.

"Okay" Santana murmurs, "Sofia's in the cafeteria on the third floor if you want to go hang out with her. I'll meet you there as soon as I can" she adds before turning on her heel and walking back to her interns. Quinn sighs sadly and makes her way to the public entance, smiling as she walks passed Rose who is trying to calm an elderly patient and the older woman shoots her a wink. The blonde decides to use the stairs when she notices the huge crowd of people waiting for the elevators hoping the small amount of exercise will clear her head and she tries to shake the feeling of regret from her mind. Should she just have lied and told Santana that she wanted kids? No, Santana would hate that, the latina always preferring to know the truth, no matter how hard and hurtful it is to hear. She wishes she could tell the latina truthfully that she wanted to raise a family with her but the fear of messing that child or even children up is too much for her to bear. There's no way she would ever be a good mother, she can barely look after herself on some days, how would she be able to look after a child? She knows in her heart that Santana would be an amazing mother, any child would be lucky to have her and it pains Quinn immensely that she can't give her wife that joy. The blonde knows she is being selfish but there is no way she can ever tell Santana her reasons for not wanting a child, mostly because she is scared that they will sound stupid being said out loud. Another huge reason is because she doesn't want to lose the latina and Quinn knows that she will if they have a child together, Santana would see her for what she truly is; useless.

_It feels all too familiar to the latina as she anxiously waits in the hospital waiting room, chewing on the fingernail of the pinkie finger on her left hand as her knee bounces nervously. The myriad of emotions attacking her body almost overwhelms her and only her mother's hand on her shoulder keeps her from completely exploding. She glances at her little cousin, watching the girl carefully and examining the blood on the teenager's t'shirt while noticing that Sofia looks as if she is in shock. Santana can't blame her, nobody is ever expecting to walk in on their older cousin's girlfriend laying in her own pool of blood, a crimson stained razor hanging from her limp fingers. The latina doesn't even realise she's crying until she chokes on a violent sob, Gloria immediately wrapping her arms around her only child and murmuring promises that isn't her place to make while trying to comfort her. Promising her daughter that Quinn will be okay is the only thing she can do at the moment and she assumes that the blonde teenager would not have been in the emergency room for over an hour if the doctors didn't think she could make it._

_"She's a fighter Mija" Carlos murmurs to her from his place next to Sofia. The man had tried to convince his niece to go home with him but the young teenager had refused, stating that she wanted to wait until they heard from the doctor before going anyway and slumping down onto a chair with her blood stained clothes._

_"She is" Santana nods, "But she mostly fights with herself, what if she wins this time?" she asks grimly, her eyes red and swollen as she gazes at her father in desperation, expecting the man she admires to have all the answers. Carlos meets his wife's eyes for a second and they silently communicate, wondering how they would be able to get Santana through this if Quinn dies. "This is my fault" Santana whispers, "I should have done more" she mutters, abruptly standing and looking around at her family helplessly. "She finally had someone to look after her and I blew it, I let her down and now I may not get a chance to make it up to her. She could die thinking that nobody gives a damn about her!" the latina yells._

_"Quinn knows you love her, everyone knows that..everyone can see it" Gloria murmurs, slowly standing and approaching her child carefully, as though terrified of scaring her away. "Quinn is strong, she may make mistakes but she is strong and she will fight to get through this and do you know why? Because she loves you and you love her, any fool can see that. She will survive this and she will get better and you will be there for her and so will we" Gloria finishes firmly, ducking her head to catch her daughter's eyes and waiting for the small nod that Santana gives her before pulling her into a strong maternal embrace, the younger woman sinking into it._

_0-00-0_

_Quinn cracks her eyes open and gazes around her at the empty hospital room in confusion. She winces at the throbbing pain in her wrists and looks down at the bandages that are wrapped securely around them, horrified to realise what she has done and sad ythat she's alone. The girl jumps as a nurse bustles into the room, gazing at her apologetically._

_"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" the kind looking older woman asks softly as she checks Quinn's vitals, the blonde shaking her head. "I'll go tell the doctor you're awake" the nurse adds, turning on her heel and leaving the room again. Hazel eyes mist with tears as she remembers everything that happened before...the incident, remembering Santana's indifference to her and her revoking the rules. Quinn doesn't remember anything after picking up the razor that Sofia had left in the bathroom after having a shower and guilt pulls painfully inside of her as she realises that only Santana and Sofia had been home at the time. She doesn't know what's worse, the thought of Sofia finding her or the thought of Santana finding her._

_"How are you feeling Miss Fabray?" Quinn flinches, having not noticed the woman entering. "I'm Doctor Benson, the ER doctors admitted you to me" she states in a calm manner._

_"Admitted?" Quinn questions, her voice cracking painfully._

_"You're in the psychiatric ward Quinn, we've placed you on a seventy two hour suicide watch. Try not to worry, it's protocol" Doctor Benson explains._

_"Suicide watch" the girl repeats softly, thinking about how she felt before she picked up the razor. It had been different than the last time, this time she wanted to do more than hurt herself and punish herself, this time she wanted to die. The reality of her situation hits her like a punch to the gut, the air escaping her body as she fights back the sobs that threaten to rack her body. "I need to ask you some questions" the doctor adds softly._

_"Where's Santana?" Quinn asks abruptly, ignoring the doctor's last statement._

_"She's in the waiting room" Doctor Benson responds kindly. "She can only be here with your permission and only after we've discussed your situation" she adds, firmly but with a soft edge to her tone of voice. Quinn looks up into the woman's startling green eyes and nods, silently giving her permission to ask the questions she needs to. "Were you trying to kill yourself?" she asks gently._

_"Yes" Quinn whispers, hating the look of pure pity she's receiving from the doctor, wishing Santana could be here to hold her hand or to convince her that everything is alright._

_"Do you still want to die?" the blonde meets the other woman's gaze for the second time and is surprised to realise her answer._

_"No"_

0-00-0

Sofia looks up as her cousin's wife joins her at the table and she puts her magazine down and slides the other woman a bottle of soda, Santana had text her to inform the younger woman that Quinn was on her way up.

"Hey" the young latina smiles, looking at the blonde with non judging eyes. This is what Quinn loves about the Lopez family, no matter what is happening to or between the blonde and Santana, they always loved her anyway and never judged her.

"Hey, how's your boss doing?" Quinn asks in genuine concern.

"They're operating on him now, Santana scared one of the nurses into giving me regular updates. Everything is going smoothly. How are you doing?" Sofia questions lightly, not wanting to snoop, just ensuring that the person she views as family is genuinly okay.

"I'm fine, sorry I stole your bed last night" Quinn murmurs. "I kinda forgot you were there" she adds with an embarrassed chuckle.

"It's cool, I slept with Santana, she really likes to snuggle huh?" Sofia smirks, the exact same smirk her older cousin usually wore. "For someone who claims to be completely badass she is totally adorable" she adds with a laugh.

"Don't ever let Santana hear you say that, I very much doubt she'd appreciate it" Quinn smiles. "So, how long are you staying for?"

"I'll probably go with my boss when he gets transferred in a week or so, I know you guys need your space to talk about things" the younger woman murmurs, looking up as Santana makes her way over to them, quicker than they both expected.

"DOA" Santana states simply in response to their questioning gazes, sitting down next to Sofia instead of taking the empty chair next to her wife.

"Coffee anyone?" Sofia asks, desperate to remove herself from the suddenly awkward atmosphere.

"Yeah, please" Quinn smiles, Santana glancing at her for a second before turning to her cousin, giving her a nod and a forced smile and watching as the younger latina walks away from their table. "I haven't had any today" the blonde tells her wife, knowing that's what the raven haired woman was thinking. The latina gives her a nod of acceptance as she picks up her cousin's magazine and starts flipping through, barely glancing at any of the pages. "Can we talk?" Quinn asks in a small voice.

"About what? About us both having completely different visions of our future together or your complete disregard of my feelings and desire to talk about it last night?" the latina asks darkly, not taking her eyes away from the glossy pages in front of her.

"All of it" the blonde whispers. "Am I going to lose you?"

"No. You're not going to lose me" Santana reassures, finally meeting her wife's terrified gaze. "This is not the right place to talk about it, we can talk about it tonight if you still want to but I'm not doing this here" she states firmly, studying the other woman's face and knowing instantly that there is something the blonde isn't telling her. "Are you okay?" the latina asks.

"Yeah" Quinn nods, her strained voice telling Santana that she is everything but okay.

"I'll try and get home as quick as I can tonight" the latina states, sensing that there is something huge that her wife wants to talk to her about. Santana's pager beeping breaks their moment and she sighs heavily as she checks it. "I gotta go, I'll see you at home. I love you" she tells Quinn, leaning across the table and pecking her wife's lips before running to the stairs, there's no time to wait for the elevator. Quinn watches her ago, feeling a little lighter about things, Santana is at least talking to her; it's a start. She loves that about her wife, the fact that the latina always reassures her despite her own feelings on the matter.

_"It'll be okay sweetheart" Santana murmurs, clasping Quinn's hand into hers and gently stroking the back of her hand with her thumb, mindful of the bandage on her wrist. "I'm so sorry I made you feel like this, I never would have forgiven myself if you hadn't made it" the latina whispers, choking back a terrified sob. "I love you so much and I'm just so sorry"_

_"It's not your fault, I messed up..I didn't think about how you were feeling and I just let me own messed up ideas take over. Please don't blame yourself, I was stupid and thought you had given up on me but I know you never would and I just want to be with you and make you happy. You haven't been happy recently and that's my fault, I would have ran away with Beth if it wasn't for Brittany and it sounds awful but I just didn't think about what I would be doing to you" Quinn whispers brokenly. "Please forgive me San, I love you and need you" she adds pleadingly._

_"I know and I'm not going anywhere" Santana states honestly. "I was never planning to give up on you. The coffee thing was a stupid test" she mutters, she has never hated herself as much as she does right now, realising that it was one of the contributing factors that drove Quinn to do this to herself._

_"A test?"_

_"I wanted to see if you would question it, I wanted to see if you cared about yourself enough to make the decision to not drink it. I hoped that you loved yourself enough by now to take it into your own hands but you don't" the latina whimpers, tears blurring her gaze and she uses to free hand to hastily swipe at them. "All I succeeded in doing was making you hurt yourself, I almost lost you because of some stupid test"_

_"No you didn't. I felt guilty. When I saw your face and saw just how much I hurt you and realised exactly what I did tonight I just zoned out. It was like I was watching someone else walk into the bathroom, someone else pick up the razor and now I get to look at you and imagine how you felt when you found me" Quinn painfully whispers, reading the expression on her girlfriend's face and becoming even more horrified with herself. "It was Sofia wasn't it? She was the one that doing me wasn't she?" Santana nods, her face crumbling as she looks on at the broken person that used to be Quinn._

_"I heard her scream. I got there as quickly as I could, she was holding you" the Latina murmurs, hating herself for the guilty expression on her blonde's face but knowing she deserves to know the truth. "Please don't ever do anything like this again, even if we're not speaking. I want you to promise me that you will come to me, no matter what. I need to hear you say that Quinn, I need it so much because I love you so fucking much" Santana begs her. "People say that you don't meet your soul mate in high school but I did, I've known you most of my life and my life doesn't have any meaning without you in it" she states passionately, tears once again rolling down her face._

_"I promise" Quinn nods. "The rules are still in place?" she asks shakily._

_"Yes, as long as you agree to them being in place then yes, they are still in place" Santana says with a small smile. "I'll always look after you, you know that right?"_

_"I do now" Quinn whispers. "How are you going to punish me for what happened with Beth? I lied to you and I broke the law" she adds in a small voice._

_"Let's worry about that once you're home baby girl" Santana responds soothingly, leaning forward to kiss her girlfriend's forehead tenderly._

_"Please" Quinn begs, "I need to be punished for it and I need to know that you will" she pleads, her hazel eyes wide and full of panic as she stares at the latina, noticing how exhausted and scared the girl looks. "Please Santana, please" Quinn repeats softly._

_"Okay, okay. We can talk about it just now if you really need to. I am going to punish you but only for lying to me and then kidnapping Beth, I won't sugarcoat it, it was kidnapping" Santana states gently but firmly. "But I will not punish you for this and I will not punish you for drinking the coffee, you were unsure and it happened because of a void in communication. It wasn't fair of me to assume that you'd know not to drink it, does that sound alright to you?" Santana questions, searching the other girl's face for any signs of hesitation._

_"Thank you San, Thank you" Quinn whimpers. _

_"I'm always going to be here for you" the latina repeats, "Always, even if we're fighting I will always be here" she states seriously, her dark eyes looking deep into hazel reassuringly._

_"Is Sofia okay?" the blonde asks guiltily, chewing on her bottom lip as she gazes at her girlfriend. "I need to speak to her, I need to apologise and somehow make this up to her" she adds desperately._

_"You can make it up to her by letting people help you and getting better, we all love you Quinn. All we want is for you to be alright and to try, trying is the important part" Santana murmurs lovingly. "It's all anyone can ask of you and it's all we will ever ask of you" she states gently._

_"She's okay though?" the blonde asks._

_"She'll live, we all will"_

_**Please let me know what you think and thank you for reading :)**_


	30. Chapter 30

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, It all belongs to RIB and Fox. Any characters you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**A/N - I am so sorry for the huge wait for this update. I am focusing a lot more energy on this story now, I will be updating it every 2 or 3 days until it is finished. I hope you guys are still interested in this after waiting so long and I hope the wait has been worth it.**_

_**R&R please. Flashbacks are in italics.**_

Chapter 30

Santana sighs softly as she sips on her awful tasting coffee whilst sitting on the bench outside the emergency room. She regrets buying coffee from the patients cafeteria, it tastes as though someone already drank it and then threw it up. She only has an hour left on her shift and she hopes that there are no big emergencies in that time as Santana really wants to be at home with Quinn tonight. They really do need to talk about things, putting it off would just make things between then worse and that is the last thing that they need. What they do need is to get everything out in the open so that they can work through it all. No messing around or tip toeing around each other's feelings, just hashing things out. Santana would be lying to herself if she said she understood what Quinn is feeling but she does have an awful, nagging feeling that she's missing something. Something big. She just can't work out exactly what though. Santana feels as though there is more to Quinn not wanting kids than her simply not wanting them. Quinn had mentioned having kids with her before. She's not sure why she didn't remember this until now, it's a pretty damn important piece of information to forget.

"God damn it, Santana," she mutters to herself, grimacing as she chokes down another sip of her so called coffee. What was it exactly that Quinn had said? Wasn't it during lunch after she and her mother had picked her up from the hospital. "You're such an idiot," Santana scolds herself. "A complete and utter stupid idiot."

_Quinn smiles shyly as Santana hands her a bag of clean clothes for her to change into, unable to meet her girlfriend's gaze due to the crippling embarrassment and guilt that she feels. Santana places her finger underneath Quinn's chin and she gently coaxes the other young woman to look up and make eye contact. Hazel eyes meet deep brown, nerves and humiliation meeting love and support. Quinn feels a lump rise in her throat at the strength that radiates from Santana. There's no judgement or anger or pity in those beautiful, brown eyes or on that strikingly beautiful face, only love and reassurance._

_"I love you," Santana murmurs, leaning forward to gently and chastely kiss her girlfriend._

_"I love you, too."_

_"Do you need any help?" Santana questions kindly._

_"No, I'll be okay."_

_"Alright. I'll just be right outside, okay?" Santana kisses Quinn once more after she nods, hesitating only for a second before slipping out of the hospital room to wait in the hall with her mom. Quinn sighs softly as she reaches into the bag of clothes with shaky hands, smiling softly when she sees that Santana packed one of her own t'shirts for her to wear, knowing that Quinn loves it. Slowly, she pulls her hospital gown off and changes into the clean clothes before taking the brand new toothbrush and small tube of toothpaste into the bathroom with her. She loves that Santana remembers even the little things, she's amazing like that. Hell, she's just plain amazing all the time._

_"Hi, sweetheart," Gloria greets her kindly when Quinn steps out of the room._

_"Hey," Quinn murmurs shakily. "I have to go sign some forms, I'll just meet you in the parking lot, you don't have to wait."_

_"We're happy to," Gloria responds firmly. Quinn nods with a weak smile and slowly walks towards the nurses' station, she can sense Santana and Gloria standing a few steps behind her as she talks to one of the nurses. The three of them remain silent as Quinn signs the release papers, Quinn not seeing Gloria reassuringly rub her daughter's back. Santana takes Quinn's hand into hers as soon as they leave the nurses' station, the three of them silently walking out to the parking lot. Quinn slides into the back of Gloria's car, staring down at her lap after clipping her seatbelt into place. "How about some lunch? I haven't had a chance to get groceries," Gloria tells them. "Breadstix?"_

_"What do you think, Q?" Santana turns in her seat to look at her girlfriend. Quinn feels her heart flutter at the thought of Sanana being willing to miss out on her favourite restaurant to keep Quinn happy._

_"Yeah, sounds good. Is my wallet still in your purse?" Quinn asks._

_"Don't you dare, Quinn, this is my treat!" Gloria cuts her off sternly._

_"I wouldn't argue with her, babe," Santana states when Quinn opens her mouth to argue, "she's much more stubborn than both of us put together."_

_"That's right," Gloria nods. Quinn smiles weakly, swallowing the question that she has been desperate to ask since Santana and Gloria arrived at the hospital this morning. She really needs to know how Sofia is doing. Finding her cousin's girlfriend in that way can't have been easy for the younger girl and Quinn, at least, needs to tell her how sorry she is. She's not sure if she'll ever be able to make it up to her, or to any of them for that matter, she's going to try with every fibre in her body. When they reach the parking lot, Gloria turns in her seat to look at both teenagers, a sly smile playing on her lips. "I'm just going to run to the store for something, you girls go on inside. Santana, you know what I like," she states as they all climb out of the car._

_"Okay, see you soon," Santana responds, shooting her mother a grateful smile that confuses Quinn. Santana takes Quinn's hand into hers and kisses her cheek tenderly before leading her across the parking lot._

_You're up to something," Quinn murmurs._

_"You're so suspicious," Santana remarks with a cheeky grin._

_"And you are not subtle," Quinn fires back. Santana opens the door for both of them and gently pulls Quinn to the back of the restaurant, leading her to a booth at the back. "You're supposed to wait to be seated," Quinn tells her._

_"Do you forget how often I'm here and how scared the staff are of me?" Santana questions with a smirk as she slides into the both next to her girlfriend. Sitting opposite each other may seem more romantic but Santana doesn't want there to be any space between them and, let's face it, how romantic is it going to be when her mother arrives._

_"Good point," Quinn smiles. Quinn eyes Santana curiously while they order their drinks and food, knowing that she is definitely up to something but unable to work out what it is. She decides not to question her again when she notices that Santana looks nervous, she's let her reveal all in her own time. There's something about a nervous Santana that Quinn finds so endearing, so adorable. The small blush that colours the tips of Santana's ears tells Quinn that she is about to make her move. As does the cute, and slightly disgusting, feeling of Santana's clammy hand._

_"I have something for you," Santana eventually mumbles, pulling her hand out of Quinn's and nervously rubbing her palm on her denim clad thigh. "Don't freak out." She pulls a small velvet box out of her pocket and opens it to reveal a small silver ring with a quaint diamond encased in the middle. "I'm not proposing," Santana says quickly, almost tripping over her words._

_"Oh," Quinn murmurs, disappointment, that surprises her, lacing her tone._

_"Not yet, anyway," Santana adds coyly. "It's a promise ring," she explains, "it's my way of showing you that I'm in this..I'm with you, for life." Santana takes a hold of Quinn's left hand and slowly slides the ring onto her ring finger, watching her girlfriend carefully for any signs of a negative reaction. She then takes Quinn's other hand into hers, her thumbs gently caressing the bandages on her wrist. "I want to be with you for the rest of my life."_

_"I want to be with you for the rest of my life, too," Quinn whispers, tears blurring her gaze as she stares lovingly at Santana._

_"I know there's things that need to be dealt with and that we have a long road ahead of us, but we can handle it," Santana murmurs. Quinn feels more tears pool in her eyes when she realises that Santana says 'we' and not 'you'. "I want to marry you some day and have a family with you and wake up to you every morning of our lives."_

_"I want all of that as well," Quinn states softly, "but I want to be completely sorted out before we do all that. I want to not need...our arrangement. I can't expect our kids to accept any punishments from me or to listen to me if I'm still going over your..well you know."_

_"You do know that needing punishment doesn't mean you wouldn't be an amazing mom. It wouldn't change anything, it wouldn't mean that our kids...well, our kids wouldn't know about it, nobody will ever find out about this. This is between us, only us," Santana tells her softly, gazing into her eyes and hoping that she is getting her point across._

_"I know. I just..I need to be more stable and when you have to punish me, that usually means I'm not so stable. I need to be stable for our kids," Quinn whispers. "We have a long time before we even have any, I'll be more together by then and I'll be even more in love with you."_

_"I love you so damn much, Quinn," Santana breathes, leaning forward and capturing Quinn's lips in a sweet, tender kiss._

_"I love you, too." Quinn hesitates and stops herself from saying what she wants to say next and Santana notices instantly._

_"Remember, Quinn, you can talk to me about anything. Absolutely anything."_

_"When are you...when do you want to deal with...what I did?" Quinn asks quietly._

_"Well, first I want to know why you think you're gonna be punished," Santana tells her._

_"Because I took Beth," Quinn whispers, guilt and shame evident in her hazel eyes._

_"And you know it's definitely not because you hurt yourself? You know that it's only because you kidnapped Beth and lied to everyone?" Santana checks._

_"I do."_

_"Okay, well, we'll take care of that tomorrow then," Santana states. "Today is about us having some nice time together and then discussing how you're feeling and making plans to help you feel better."_

_"Okay," Quinn nods. They both look up as Gloria approaches the table, "We'll talk about this properly later?"_

_"Of course."_

Santana curses herself as she throws her coffee into the nearby trashcan, stalking back inside and looking around for the nearest attending. She needs to get home, she needs to talk to Quinn. They still use the arrangement, everything that Quinn worried about in the past is something she still worries about now, how the hell did Santana miss this? Does Quinn not want kids anymore because she thinks needing their arrangement would make her a bad parent.

"I have a family emergency, I really need to get home, can you cover for me? I only have thirty minutes left of my shift," Santana begs the first resident she finds after failing to find any attendings.

"Sure, but you owe me."

"Thank you!" Santana throws over her shoulder as she jogs to the doctors' lounge. She quickly throws her stethoscope into her locker, it making a soft thump as it lands on the white doctor's coat that Santana rarely wears, scrubs are enough. Santana is still pulling her hoodie on as she walks back out into the cold, quickly walking out to the main street and hailing down the first cab she sees. She doesn't understand how she missed this, she usually prides herself on being able to read her wife amazingly well, she thought she was an expert at it now.

"Where to?" Santana tells the driver her address and informs him that there's a huge tip in it for him if he can get her there quickly. Why wouldn't Quinn open up to her about this? Haven't they been through that enough in the past, going through problems because they weren't communicating properly. Has she been too distant lately? Did Quinn feel like she didn't want to burden her wife? Has she been working too much? No, she can't let herself panic...she needs to talk to Quinn first. Not communicating had caused them enough problems lately, she needs to talk to her, then she can decide if she needs to panic. Leaning back in her seat, she watches the brightly lit, busy streets pass by and impatiently waits for the cab to reach the apartment she shares with Quinn.

_**To be continued... the next chapter should be up by Friday or Saturday. Please leave a review with your thoughts.**_


	31. Chapter 31

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, It all belongs to RIB and Fox. Any characters you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**A/N - Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. I'm planning to have this story completely finished by the end of the month - hope you guys stick around!**_

_**Apologies for the slight delay!**_

_**Flashbacks are in italics.**_

_**R&R please.**_

Chapter 31

Quinn fiddles with the volume dial on the small radio in the kitchen, rolling her eyes at the cheesy pop song from the eighties that assaults her ears. She turns back to the stove and stirs the tomato sauce while keeping one eye on the clock, Santana will be home soon. She knows that a romantic dinner won't fix their problems but it will, at least, be appreciated. Plus, if she's being completely honest with herself, she's not ready to tell Santana how she is feeling. Guilt gnaws at her guy as she pictures her wife's devastated face when she had told her that she doesn't want kids. By lying to Santana, Quinn had thought it would make her feel better for a little while, or at least buy her some time, but it made her feel worse..much worse. She had lied to her wife, the one person who had loved and looked after her throughout everything, for no reason. Quinn's not even sure how Santana will react when she eventually talks to her about it. She'll probably be pleased that Quinn isn't against having children but she'll also be sad and angry that she has been lied to, rightly so.

"God, I'm so fucking selfish." Who does that? Who lied and hurts the person they love on purpose just to avoid a fucking conversation. She hates herself for this and she wouldn't blame Santana if she does too. Nah, who is she kidding...Santana would never hate her and that makes Quinn feel even worse. Knowing that her wife will understand and forgive her makes her feel even more selfish. her head whips around to look at the clock again when she hears the apartment door open, Santana's home early. Quinn quickly lights the candles on the table and flips the light off, the food may not be ready but at least the atmosphere is more romantic. She can always shoo Santana back out of the kitchen in a few minutes so that she can finish cooking.

"Quinn?" She hears Santana's voice float through the apartment, a slight urgent edge to her tone.

"In the kitchen!" Quinn calls back, leaning against the counter and smiling when Santana walks through the kitchen door, the raven haired woman's tense features relaxing as she takes in the scene before her. Tired, brown eyes widen in surprise and a small, but genuine, smile pulls on those full lips that Quinn loves so much.

"Wow...what's the occasion?" Santana asks.

"We've never needed to have a reason before," Quinn remarks softly, hating how awkward it feels between them.

"That's true. We...uh..we need to talk at some point tonight," Santana murmurs.

"Okay," Quinn nods, "why don't you go get changed while I finish dinner," she suggests. Santana nods and turns to leave the kitchen, pausing in the doorway and turning to look at her wife. "It smells great, thanks for doing all of this," she says with a small smile. Quinn nods and returns the smile before flipping the light back on and checking the food, glad to see that it's ready. By the time Santana returns to the kitchen, the light is off again and the food is plated up. Santana gently kisses her wife's forehead before sitting down next to her. Quinn frowns slightly at the chaste kiss but doesn't say anything, merely pouring herself a glass of apple juice from the carton that sits in the middle of the table. She had placed a bottle of beer next to Santana's plate and she smiles when Santana chooses to also take apple juice instead, knowing it's a silent show of support.

"Is this a new recipe?" Santana questions awkwardly.

"Yeah, I kinda played around with it," Quinn replies refraining from rolling her eyes at the polite small talk.

"Well, it tastes great."

"Come on, Santana, this isn't you!" Quinn exclaims after a moment of awkward silence. "You've never been scared to say what's on your mind."

"I've been doing some thinking," Santana admits softly, "about you not wanting kids. I was thinking about the day you got out of hospital when we were teenagers," she murmurs. Quinn stays silent, she feels guilty about not knowing which time Santana is talking about..she had put them through a lot when they were teenagers. "The day I gave you the promise ring," Santana clarifies quietly.

"Oh.." Quinn whispers.

"Yeah."

_Quinn lets out a contented sigh as she snuggles closer to Santana on her bed. Her head rests on her girlfriend's arm and her limbs are wrapped around her, their bodies perfectly moulded together; they fit. Despite everything that has happened recently, she feels calm in Santana's presence. The promise ring is heavy on her finger, unused to having it there just yet and it's a perfect reminder of how lucky she is. She could have died. A moment of depressed weakness and she could have been gone from the earth forever. Gone from Santana forever._

_"What are you thinking about, babe?" Santana asks softly, turning her body slightly to press a gentle kiss to Quinn's temple._

_"Just...things," Quinn mumbles, "things I've done recently."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Yeah...I don't understand why I did it," Quinn whispers._

_"Which part?"_

_"All of it...Beth...what I did in the bathroom...all of it."_

_"Well, baby, you've had a really hard time lately and, while it doesn't excuse it, you weren't yourself," Santana murmurs. She shifts herself again so that she can look directly at her girlfriend. "Puck spoke to Shelby, once she calmed down she decided she wasn't gonna press charges...she was actually kind of understanding."_

_"Really?"_

_"Well, yeah, I mean she knows how it feels...she said she was a mess after she had Rachel," Santana explains. "I think you need to talk to her and I also think you still owe her a massive apology...you owe Noah one as well."_

_"I know," Quinn nods, "and you."_

_"You already apologised to me," Santana states._

_"I still feel guilty," Quinn admits,"I guess...I guess the guilt will go away after...tomorrow."_

_"Yeah, tomorrow will help. Do you remember what I said the first time I spanked you?" Santana questions quietly, noticing that Quinn blushes and winces at the word._

_"You said you'd use your hairbrush," Quinn whispers, her soft tone laced with embarrassment._

_"I did," Santana nods, "do you still agree with that?" Quinn nods. "I need a verbal response, Quinn," Santana coaxes softly._

_Yes, ma'am, I agree."_

_"Okay. Thank you." Santana groans lightly when she hears the sound of the doorbell filter upstairs. "I'll be right back, babe," she mutters as she pushes herself off of her bed. Quinn sighs softly as she watches her girlfriend slip out of the room. She listens as Santana opens the door and hears the surprise in her voice. Quinn freezes when another voice floats upstairs, recognising it instantly as guilt floods her gut. Pushing herself off the bed, she makes her way out of Santana's bedroom and quietly walks to the top of the stairs. Quinn apparently wasn't as quiet as she thought as the two women at the bottom of the stairs are looking up at her as soon as she reaches the stairs._

_"Hi, Quinn. How are you feeling?" Shelby asks kindly, showing no signs of the anger that Quinn is expecting from her._

_"Better," Quinn whispers, unable to meet Shelby's gaze as guilt gnaws at her insides._

_"You wanna come down so we can have a little chat?" Shelby suggests, noticing that Quinn hesitates. "It's something that both of you can hear so Santana will be with you," she adds to ease Quinn's mind. Shelby smiles kindly when Quinn nods nervously and behind to slowly descend the stairs. _

_"Do you want coffee or something?" Santana questions. _

_"Coffee would be great, thank you, Santana," Shelby smiles. Santana nods and shoots Quinn a reassuring smile while gesturing for Shelby to follow them into the kitchen. Quinn focuses her gaze on the kitchen table as soon as she sits down, only looking up to quietly thank Santana when she places a glass of orange juice in front of her. She listens as Santana and Shelby make pointless, polite small talk while Santana makes their coffee. She has no clue what to say, and even if she did, she has no clue how to say it. Quinn feels slightly more comfortable when Santana sits down next to her but her stomach flops nervously at the firm, pointed look Santana shoots her._

_"I'm sorry!" Quinn blurts out before looking back down at the table in embarrassment. _

_"Quinn, look at me please," Shelby requests, waiting until Quinn meets her gaze before continuing, "I'm not mad." _

_"You're not?!" Quinn asks in surprise, her hazel eyes wide._

_"Not anymore," Shelby states. "I was furious at first," she murmurs honestly, "but I understand that you weren't yourself. When I have Rachel up, I was a mess. I knew I was doing the right thing...the best thing for my baby but it still hurt. It was extraordinarily hard. The hardest thing I've ever had to do," Shelby says quietly. _

_"I had no right to do what I did. You must have been so scared," Quinn whispers, gripping Santana's hand under the table. "I'm so sorry, I wish I could go back in time and do everything differently. Shelby offers Quinn a tentative smile and shares a concerned glance with Santana. _

_"I accept your apology," Shelby states sincerely, "and for Beth's sake, I beg you not to hurt yourself again. When she asks about you, I'm going to tell her how amazing her birth mother is, I don't want to tell her that you've died," Shelby tells her seriously._

_"When she asks about me?" _

_"Yes. The reason I came over here is to let you know that Beth and I are leaving," Shelby tells Quinn gently. "I was offered a job in Florida, we leave at the end of the month. I think it's for the best if we're not here. I'm sorry but, you aren't ready to be in Beth's life...anyone can see it," Shelby murmurs. As much as it breaks her heart, Quinn agrees. She knows she's not going to get better while Beth is still around. Too much has happened. _

_"Can I...can I say goodbye to her?" Quinn asks quietly, her tone vulnerable._

_"Of course. We can arrange for you and Noah to have a chance to say goodbye before the end of the month," Shelby nods. "I'm sorry things didn't work out, Quinn. Truly." Quinn nods and they fall into silence again and it's not long until Shelby decides to leave, Quinn sitting silently while Santana walks her out._

_"I'm so sorry, sweetheart," Santana murmurs as she walks back into the kitchen, pulling her girlfriend into her arms. "Are you okay?"_

_"Yeah...I just...my mind is all over the place right now," Quinn whispers honestly._

_"That's understandable," Santana nods, stroking Quinn's silky, blonde hair. "Will you tell me if you're struggling? Please? I need you to be honest with me at all times, Quinn. I don't want you to hurt yourself again, I need you to tell me when you're feeling like that."_

_"I will, I promise."_

Santana watches her wife carefully as Quinn processes what she had said to her, guilt and desperation crossing her pale features...a sure sign that Santana's conclusion is correct. She curses herself as she watches Quinn struggle with an internal battle...she should have remembered that...should have said something earlier.

"Honey..I.."

"I need to get changed, it's too hot in here!" Quinn cuts Santana off, her wife watching her in concern as she all but sprints out of the kitchen. She closes the bedroom door behind her and leans against it heavily, she can't deal with this right now...this is why she lied and told Santana she simply didn't want kids...it's too hard to deal with this. Quinn slowly shuffles across the bedroom she shares with Santana and picks up the photo frame that sits on top of the chest of drawers. Beth. The little blonde had been too busy enjoying her fifth birthday party to look up and smile at the camera, a perfect candid of a perfect little girl laughing and smiling at someone just out of shot.

"Quinn, baby." Quinn whips around to see Santana standing in the doorway, her features creased in concern. "Oh, sweetheart, come here," Santana whispers, striding forward and wrapping her arms around her wife.

"I just..." the rest of Quinn's sentence is lost in her throat as violent sobs suddenly wrack her body.

"Shh, it's okay. We don't have to talk about it tonight, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed it," Santana murmurs guiltily. "Come on," she whispers, guiding Quinn over to the bed and laying down with her, her wife sobbing into her chest as she her arms tighten around her. "It's okay, baby, I'm right here."

_**To be continued... The more feedback I get, the quicker I update (Hint hint) ;) Thanks for reading!**_


	32. Chapter 32

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, It all belongs to RIB and Fox. Any characters you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**A/N - There's a lot of people reading this - don't be scared to leave some feedback as it is extremely motivating and appreciated :)**_

_**R&R please.**_

Chapter 32

Quinn groans softly as she cracks her, painfully swollen, eyes open and gazes around the darkened room. She's alone in the bedroom she shares with Santana but, the space next to her is still warm; Santana had been next to her extremely recently. She knows that Santana had stayed with her since they first came to bed, she's knows her wife well enough to know that her reaction had scared her. The clock on the bedside table flashes as though it's been turned off and on again and she blinks against the harsh red light. Pushing herself out of bed, Quinn pads across the bedroom and walks into the living room, finding Santana having a hushed, but furious, conversation with someone who is out of view.

"Jesus, Puckerman, it's three in the fucking morning. I get you wanted to surprise us but this is taking it a little too fucking far!" Santana hisses as Noah drops his large rucksack on to the sofa.

"My flight was delayed! I was supposed to be here seven hours ago," Noah grumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Then you should have called us, you asshole," Santana snaps.

"It. Was. A. Surprise," Puck says slowly, as though he's talking to an idiot. Quinn decides to step forward before her wife takes a swing at their friend. "Oh, hey, Quinn. Sorry if I woke you up."

"You didn't apologise for waking me up!" Santana complains.

"Because you called me a jackass and punched me in the arm!" Noah defends himself.

"It's three in the fucking morning!"

"Alright, it's late, let's all just go to bed," Quinn says, intervening before Santana's anger multiplies. "Noah, it's great to see you," she adds, hugging him before taking Santana's hand and pulling her back to their bedroom.

"Sorry, I was gonna ignore him and leave him outside but I figured you'd be pretty mad if I did that," Santana grumbles as she closes their bedroom door, with much more force than is necessary.

"Yeah," Quinn chuckles, "I would be." She slumps back into bed and leans against the headboard, watching as Santana pulls her sweatpants off, leaving herself only in her tank top and panties. Santana sighs heavily when she slides into bed next to her wife.

"How are you doing?" she asks Quinn softly, turning so that her head is resting on Quinn's chest and she gazes up at her wife with concerned features.

"I'm okay," Quinn shrugs, "you were right," she whispers so quietly that Santana has to strain to hear it. "I feel like I can't bring a child into the world and look after it, and discipline it, and teach them how to do stuff if I can't even live without discipline myself. I don't regret our arrangement, it helps me, and I love you so much much. It amazes me that you can love me enough to do that for me," Quinn explains in a low murmur.

"You do know that needing our arrangement doesn't make you weak, you know that, right?" Santana gazes into her wife's troubled, hazel eyes and realises that, no, she doesn't know that. "Baby, I swear to you on my life that this doesn't make you weak. You're not weak, you are the strongest person I've ever met. You've been through so much and you're still here, I'm so damn proud to call you my wife," Santana states, her tone more passionate than Quinn has ever heard it. "You are amazing, Quinn, so amazing. Weak is not a word I would _ever_ use to describe you and, if you don't believe that then, I'm gonna spend the rest of our lives reminding you until you do."

"You really mean that?"

"I would never lie to you, baby girl," Santana swears to her. "If you need to end our arrangement or at least make some changes then we can totally do that. I'll do whatever you need, I swear to you...anything."

"I don't want to end it," Quinn whispers, "but some changes would help. I was looking at some stuff online and I saw a blog post about maintenance spankings. I just...I do need the relief that spankings offer me but I don't want to break a rule and upset you to get it."

"I've heard of maintenance spankings," Santana nods.

"I think we should still keep the rules that we have but, during times when the rules aren't in place, I'd really like to try maintenance ones," Quinn admits.

"I'd definitely be willing to try it," Santana says confidently.

"I was thinking maybe once a month or something, would that be okay with you?" Quinn asks.

"yeah, I'd be okay with that. I mean, it's going to be harder..usually it's for a specific reason," Santana states honestly, "but I'll definitely try it."

"Thank you," Quinn murmurs, tilting her head to capture Santana's full lips in a brief, but sweet, kiss. "How much longer are the rules going to be in place?"

"I would like to keep them in place for another week. Then the list can go back in the drawer until the next time we need them, does that sound alright to you? We can discuss it properly in the morning."

"Yeah, that sounds fine to me," Quinn replies. "San... about having kids..."

"Baby, it's okay, we don't have to talk about that right now," Santana interrupts.

"No, it's fine, I want to," Quinn murmurs, taking a deep breath. "I don't want kids...in the _right now_... but, in the future, I would like to," she states shyly.

"Quinn..are you sure?" Santana questions quietly, her tone and eyes vulnerable. "You're not just saying that for my sake, are you?" Because you come first, babe. As long as I'm with you I'm the happiest person on the planet."

I'm not, sweetheart. I promise you I wouldn't do that," Quinn swears. Her hazel eyes well with tears that blur her gaze when she notices the tears in her wife's eyes. "I do want to have a family with you. I want to raise a beautiful baby with you, I do..I really do," Quinn states with conviction.

"You're completely sure?" Santana asks, her voice a mere whisper and her brown eyes flooded with tears.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Quinn smiles.

"Thank you, baby, thank you," Santana whimpers, repositioning herself so that she is lying on top of Quinn. She gently presses their mouths together, the kiss salty from their tears. They kiss languidly, moaning lightly at the feel of each other's tongues, their hands slowly roaming each other's bodies. Soft skin against soft skin. Santana lets out a surprised squeal when Quinn suddenly flips them and Santana looks up at her with a grin on her face.

"Shh, Puck is just down the hall," Quinn whispers, a sly smile playing on her lips. Making love to her wife is something that Quinn just knows she will never get bored of. The soft, smooth skin that covers hard, taut muscles. The way Santana's chest heaves with every deep breath as she gets closer and closer to. The swell of her breasts and the gentle curve of her hips, Quinn has it all memorised.

"Quinn, please." Santana's voice is strained, her tone desperate as Quinn slowly teases her, completely under her wife's control.

"Let go, baby," Quinn breathes, relishing the site of her stunningly beautiful wife coming undone beneath her. Each moan and quiet cry is like music to Quinn's ears; her favourite song.

_**Short, I know, but I just felt like this was the best place to end the chapter. Please review. The next chapter will be up within the next couple of days.**_


	33. Chapter 33

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, It all belongs to RIB and Fox. Any characters you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you for the reviews for the last chapter - I am so thrilled that so many of you are still reading this!**_

_**Flashbacks are in italics...so uh..the whole chapter.**_

_**R&R please.**_

Chapter 33

_Quinn nervously chews on her bottom lip as she stands in the corner of the living room, listening as Santana moves around the room; closing the curtains and collecting what she needs. The thought of receiving a spanking with the hairbrush for the first time causes Quinn's stomach to clench and her heart to thump erratically against her rib cage. She thinks about the first, and only, time she had gone over Santana's knee. She remembers it all so vividly. The stinging and burning in her backside. The soft tone of Santana's voice as she comforted her and, what sticks in her mind the most, the overwhelming feeling of relief. The trust. Now, she trusts Santana even more than she did back then. She trusts Santana with her life, the life that Santana and her family had saved._

_"Stand still, Quinn." Quinn haven't even realised that she had been moving from one foot to the other, but those three stern words had been enough for her to cease it. She tightly clasps her hands together behind her back and focuses on staying still, wishing they could this over with. She needs to feel the relief, needs the forgiveness, that has already been granted, to be verified. "Okay, Quinn, come here." Quinn lets out a shaky breath as she turns around, her heart hammering and electric nerves shooting tingling in her veins. She moves to stand in front of the sofa where Santana is seated, her gaze trained on Santana's patterned socks. "Look at me please." Hazel eyes reluctantly lift, gazing into warm brown that offers nothing but love, support and determination. "You have every right to stop this, to back out," Santana tells her calmly._

_"No, I accept my punishment, ma'am." The pride that floods Santana's dark, almost black, eyes nearly knocks Quinn over. Her girlfriend offers her a reassuring gaze before gently grasping Quinn's arm. It's time. Redemption is coming. Santana gently guides Quinn across her lap, convinced that she can feel the nerves radiating from her girlfriend. She helps Quinn get comfortable, well, as comfortable as she can be considering what is about to happen. Her hands rubs soft circles on Quinn's sweatpant clad behind, feeling the taut muscles slowly relax underneath her soothingly hand._

_"Quinn, tell me why you're being spanked," Santana states quietly, yet sternly._

_"Because I lied to you and broke the law, ma'am," Quinn whispers._

_"And how did you do that?" Santana pushes gently._

_"I told you that I would be with Puckerman while I was babysitting Beth, and I..."_

_"You what, Quinn?" Santana softly urges her to continue._

_"I kidnapped her and I was going to leave town with her." Quinn's voice is a mere whisper and her guilt doubles in intensity._

_"Alright, thank you. Now, this is going to hurt more than the first time," Santana states, "and I want you to remember this the next time you even think of doing something so reckless."_

_"I will," Quinn whispers, her body tensing in anticipation, her buttocks unintentionally clenching. Santana resumes rubbing the firm flesh of Quinn's ass, slowly and methodically switching the rubbing to firm pats. Gradually, the pats grow firmer, hard enough for Quinn to feel them but not hard enough to cause any real pain...merely warming the area up. Santana frowns as she thinks about the night Quinn earned this punishment, mainly what had happened after Quinn had been brought back home. The firm pats turn into sharp smacks, she is determined to never let Quinn's guilt get to that stage again. Never. Quinn lets out a single gasp, Santana's hand continually slapping against her buttocks, her palm leaving an itching sensation behind that slowly builds and warms. Santana hooks her thumbs into the waistband of Quinn's sweatpants and tugs them down to the hollow of her knees, Quinn lifting her hips to assist her. It surprises Quinn just how much protection her sweatpants had offered her, each firm swat now sharply stinging her backside. Santana isn't messing around._

_"Ooww," Quinn's quiet, whiny exclamation is ignored by Santana as she continues to heat up the back of Quinn's panties with the palm of her hand. The smacks become sharper, the stinging slowly becoming unbearable. Each spank hurts more than the one before, Santana's hand branding it's signature into her girlfriend's backside, a determined glint in her dark eyes. Quinn begins to whimper as the punishing slaps land faster and harder, fisting the material of the sofa cushion to stop herself from reaching back. Santana slowly counts out thirty seconds in her head as she lays firm spanks over the thin material of the young woman's panties, she has a point to make and her hand will make it for her. She pauses briefly to pull Quinn's underwear down to meet her sweatpants around her knees, the small rush of cool air offering a tiny amount of relief to Quinn's ass. The twin globes are flushed pink and Santana resumes her punishing rhthym, methodically adding more colour to the perfect cheeks beneath her hand. She claps her hand on the underside of each buttock, alternating sides; left cheek, right cheek. The only sound in the room is the sound of flesh slapping flesh and small whimpers that follow each strike. Quinn attempts to throw her hand back to defend her vulnerable bottom from Santana's punishing onslaught._

_"Move your hand, Quinn." Santana's voice is eerily calm and Quinn doesn't immediately comply. Big mistake. Santana lifts her leg slight, just enough to tip Quinn's backside upwards..bringing the back of Quinn's thighs into focus. The stingy slaps that attack the back of her thighs encourages Quinn to remove her hand from her backside, apologising profusely. She tries her hardest not to squirm while over her girlfriend's lap but the firm, continuous slaps to her delicate backside makes it almost impossible, especially when Santana picks up the pace, her hand loudly clapping down on the pink, bare bottom._

_"Please..." Quinn whimpers pleading, tears leaking from the corner of her hazel eyes, the burning in her ass feeling as though someone had lit a fire back there. Santana gazes down at the reddened skin and watches as her girlfriend's back heaves, almost there. The following three spanks are the hardest Quinn has ever felt, the cheeks bouncing from the force of them and sobs wracking her body._

_"Since this is your first time with the hairbrush, I will only give you six swats. Next time, it will be much worse," Santana states. It amazes Quinn that Santana is able to sound so menacing yet so comforting at the same time. The wooden, flat backed hairbrush feels heavy in her hand and Santana has a moment of nerves, is this too much._

_"Thank you, Santana, I won't ever give you a reason to use it again," Quinn chokes out, helping Santana make up her mind. She had told Quinn she would use the brush, she won't back out now. Both girls know that it's wishful thinking from Quinn, there's definitely a large chance that the hairbrush will have to be brough out again, but the sentiment is appreciated. Santana lifts the brush and brings it back down a second later, the crack of wood meeting flesh echoing in the room as Quinn squeals out in anguish. She swats the underside of each globe Quinn breaking down in incoherent cobs._

_"Three more, baby, you have done so well," Santana praises, her chest swelling with the pride she feels towards her girlfriend. The following three spanks aren't as hard as the first three but it doesn't make any difference to Quinn, it still adds to the fire already burning back there. Her rear burns and she cries into her hands when Santana drops the hairbrush to the floor, relieved that it's over but unable to calm due to her smarting backside. Quinn scrumbles up onto her hands and knees when Santana informs her that it's offer, immediately throwing herself into Santana's arms. Quinn rambles incoherently as she grips onto Santana's shirt with all the strength she can muster, her face buried in her girlfriend's shoulder. Her sobs vibrate through her whole body and Santana's arms automatically wrap tightly around Quinn's quivering frame. That had been the hardest thing Santana had ever had to do but the spluttering thank you that leaves Quinn's let cement her convictions, she had done the right thing...the best thing for her girlfriend._

_"I'm sorry," Quinn chokes out, lifting her head to gaze as Santana with red, swollen eyes. Eyes that still look beautiful to Santana. "I'm so sorry, I should never have lied to you and I will never do anything so stupid again, I promise."_

_"I know you are, baby girl, and I am so, so proud of you," Santana states softly and sincerely. "You took your punishment so well." Quinn nods against her and Santana knows that Quinn is feeling much better about things now and, quite possibly, is feeling rather proud of herself too. Neither of them make any attempts to pull Quinn's clothing back into place, her backside is much too sensitive for clothes just yet. To Quinn, it feels like a dam has been broken. The guilt she feels and the anger at herself doesn't eat at her; redemption came. She holds her girlfriend tightly, her throat tight and her eyes burning with tears that threaten to fall. She hates making Quinn cry. At the same time, she'd rather comfort a crying Quinn, and her burning ass, than cry at Quinn's grave. If this is what Quinn needs, she will give it to her. Any time she needs it. No matter what._

_**To be continued...There will be more present time Quinntana in the next chapter, as well as Quinn and Beth interactions. Please let me know what you think.**_


	34. Chapter 34

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, It all belongs to RIB and Fox. Any characters you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you for all of your great reviews so far. This story is drawing to a close, only a few chapters left, so I hope you guys stick around until the end!**_

_**Flashbacks are in italics.**_

_**R&R please.**_

Chapter 34

_Quinn swallows thickly as she gazes at herself in the full length mirror, barely recognising the pale girl that stares back at her. Her features look sharp and tired, the dark circles under her eyes making her, usually shiny, hazel eyes look dull and sunken. Granted, she does look better than she has in months. As much as she doesn't look great right now, she has looked a lot worse lately. She's slowly getting better, and today will be a huge test for her...another hurdle to jump. Quinn's not sure how she's going to handle this, seeing Beth; saying goodbye. She knows she has to, it's best that she isn't in Beth's life but it's going to hurt when she says goodbye. A lot. Although, it'll hurt more if she doesn't; she knows that. Quinn doesn't know if Puck will even speak to her while they're with Beth. He has been asking about how she is doing, how her recovery is going, on a daily basis. Santana had told her that, but he hadn't made any direct form of contact with Quinn herself. Not since that night. He's pissed with her, and Quinn doesn't blame him._

_"You okay, baby girl?" Quinn jerks in surprise when she hears Santana's voice, turning to face her with a forced smile. "You don't have to pretend with me, Quinn," Santana states softly, "It's okay to show your true feelings in front of me."_

_"I'm sorry...I..it's just hard," Quinn murmurs, walking into Santana's open arms and resting her head on her girlfriend's shoulder as familiar arms wrap around her. "I don't know how to do this..how to say goodbye. I have no idea what to say, or do," she whispers into Santana's hair._

_"You don't need to plan what you're gonna say or do, babe," Santana reassures her. "Just let it flow...say what feels right at the time. It sounds like a cliche but, speak from your heart."_

_"Will you be there?" Quinn questions quietly, her tone low and vulnerable._

_"I'll be there," Santana confirms. "I'll sit with Shelby while you and Puck are with Beth, I'll be close by." Santana is desperate to hold Quinn's hand throughout all of this but she knows that Quinn needs to do this without her. She and Noah need to say their goodbyes privately._

_"Thank you," Quinn whispers._

_"There's no need to thank me, baby girl," Santana responds softly. "Just promise me that you'll keep trying, you'll keep fighting."_

_"I promise," Quinn mumbles into her girlfriend's shoulder, "I'll keep 's mad at me, isn't he?"_

_"Yes," Santana responds simply. There's no point in sugar coating it, not when Quinn, obviously, is already aware of the fact that it is true._

_"I've upset a lot of people," Quinn murmurs sadly._

_"By your actions involving Beth. Nobody is angry about what happened after that. Scared, yes, but not angry," Santana assures her girlfriend. "Nobody knows about your punishment, they aren't able to move on like you and I have," she explains. "He'll get over it," she adds quietly, pulling back and gazing carefully at Quinn. "He has a right to be angry with you but, like you know, he has been calling every day to find out how you're doing. He cares, Quinn. He cares a whole lot. A lot of people do. Don't forget that."_

0-00-0

Puck frowns in confusion as he walks into Quinn and Santana's apartment to find Sofia leaning against the closed kitchen door, her ear pressed up against the wood. He opens his mouth to speak but is immediately silenced by Sofia as she holds her hand up, the look on her face threatening him. Puck quirks a brow and shuffles over the kitchen door, leaning next to her and pressing his ear against the door too.

"Stethoscope," Sofia whispers hurriedly, gesturing for him to go look in Santana and Quinn's bedroom. Puck's eyes widen when he realises what the younger woman is telling him and he shakes his head furiously. No way. If Santana ever found out he had gone searching through her belongings in her and her wife's bedroom she would _kill_ him. "Pussy," Sofia mutters and pushes herself away from the door and almost having a heart attack when she finds Santana standing there.

"Oh yeah," Puck smirks," Santana was with me." Sofia shoots him a glare and punches his arm as she avoids her older cousin's curious frown.

"What's going on?" Santana asks dangerously, her arms folding across her chest.

"We're listening in on something," Puck states with a smile, enjoying the fact that he has an opportunity to throw Sofia under the bus, thinking back to all of the times she had told on him and Santana when they were kids. "Dunno what for though," he shrugs.

"You are such an asshole," Sofia hisses, wincing at the smoldering glare Santana sends her. "Quinn's on the phone..with her old boss," she explains to her cousin, hoping to calm her down.

"Her old boss? Did she look upset?" Santana questions urgently, worrying that it's somehow even more bad news, something that would have a huge effect on Quinn right now.

"No..well, I don't think she did," Sofia murmurs with a shrug. "Maybe..I don't know."

"If you must be an eavesdropping asshole then, at least, hear some of the good stuff," Santana sighs, motioning for them to back away from the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" Sofia asks, "You can't go in there."

"Yes, I can," Santana smirks. "That's one of the perks of being married to Quinn," she adds smugly before slipping into the kitchen, firmly closing the door behind her. Santana shoots a smile of greeting in her wife's direction as she quietly moves across the kitchen to sit down at the table. She watches Quinn carefully as the woman listens to what the person on the other end of the phone is saying. There's a small smile playing on Quinn's lips and it fills Santana with hope.

"Well, I'd need to discuss it with my wife first," Quinn states and Santana perks up, staring at her wife with waves of curiosity rolling off of her. "I most definitely will, thank you." Quinn ends the phonecall and stares across at Santana in shock. "That was my old boss. He's opening his own pratice and he wants me to work for him," Quinn smiles.

"What? Baby, that's amazing!" Santana exclaims, jumping to her feet and yanking Quinn forward into a tight hug.

"He says there will be a job waiting for me after the year," Quinn explains. "There's better benefits and better opportunities. I told him I'd talk to you about it and get back to him in the next couple of days."

"Are you ready to go back to work?" Santana questions softly.

"Yeah. Yeah..I really am," Quinn replies honestly. "What do you think?"

"I think that, if it's what you really want, you should take it," Santana replies sincerely. "What do you want to do, honey?"

"I want to take it, at least try a trial period," Quinn murmurs. "I think it'll do me some good to be working again. It feels awful to be unemployed..it makes me feel worse," she adds.

"Then take it. Even if it's just a trial period, I'll support you with whatever decision you make," Santana tells her truthfully. "Can I do my 'I told you so' dance now?" she asks with a smirk.

"Sure," Quinn chuckles. "How did you know things would work out?"

"Because I know you," Santana smiles, "Whether you realise it or not, you're amazing."

"God, I love you," Quinn beams.

"I love you, too," Santana grins, punctuating each word with a kiss. "Losing your job was just a temporary setback," she shrugs, "I always knew you would be okay. You always are, no matter what life throws at you. Nothing can destroy you...you've proven that."

_**Just a small filler chapter. Next chapter will be up soon. Only 3 chapters and an epilogue to go :) Please review.**_


	35. Chapter 35

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, It all belongs to RIB and Fox. Any characters you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you to everyone who reviewed - only 2 chapters plus an epilogue to go!**_

_**Flashbacks are in italics.**_

_**R&R please.**_

Chapter 35

_Santana watches carefully as Quinn sits on the swing with Beth on her lap, using her feet to gently sway them back and forth. Puck hovers next to them for a few moments, his hands deep inside his pockets and his eyes never leaving Beth. It's as though he is unsure as to how to handle this situation. Santana can't blame him. She continues watching as Puck finally sits down on the swing next to Quinn and Beth, awkwardly swinging himself backwards and forwards and talking to Quinn. Santana stiffens when Shelby sits down next to her on the bench, unsure of what to say to her and wondering if Shelby is against her being here._

_"How's she doing?" Shelby asks quietly, her eyes never leaving the swings._

_"Better," Santana sighs, "she's trying." Santana doesn't want to go into details with Shelby. Sure, parts of Quinn's breakdown is her business but Santana feels like she shouldn't be discussing Quinn's progress with anyone who isn't directly involved in their lives._

_"Good," Shelby nods, glancing at the younger woman beside her. "It's good that you came. Quinn's lucky to have you by her side."_

_"We're both lucky," Santana shrugs._

_"I would never have allowed Quinn to have access to Beth if I had known that this would have been the outcome," Shelby murmurs, "but I think this is for the best. I honestly thought Quinn was okay, I thought that being around Beth would be a good thing for her. It turns out it was the worst thing or her," she sighs._

_"It was the timing more than anything," Santana mutters, "everything just seemed to happen at once." Shelby nods, not knowing what to say to the younger woman. They both watch as Puck and Quinn interact with Beth, Shelby standing up when she sees Beth's pacifier fall to the ground. She wanders over there and pulls a spare from her purse._

_"Here," Shelby murmurs kindly to Puck, handing the pacifier to him. "You guys okay over here?"_

_"Yeah, we're fine," Puck replies gruffly, passing the clean pacifier to Quinn without making eye contact with anyone. He glances up as Shelby makes her way back over to the bench and catches Santana's gaze, nodding when she jerks her head in Quinn's direction..encouraging him to try and work things out with her. He sighs and looks in Quinn's direction, easily spotting the anxiety on her face. Up until now, they had been making pointless small talk and awkwardly laughing together over Beth's little quirks. They need to talk, really talk, not just avoid things. "How are you doing?" Puck eventually asks, gazing at Beth rather than Quinn._

_"You already know the answer to that," Quinn remarks quietly, "you've been asking Santana every day instead of talking to me."_

_"I'm allowed to be mad at you," Puck retorts with a scoff._

_"I know," Quinn murmurs, her gaze dropping to the ground as she tightens her hold on Beth._

_"What you did was dumb," Puck plainly states. "The skanks are bad news, they always have been. Why would you go to them instead of us?" he questions._

_"I don't know," Quinn replies honestly, "I really don't know why I did what I did. If I could take it all back, I would, but I can't. I wish I knew why it seemed like a good idea to take her, or why I felt like I needed to hurt myself..I guess I was trying to punish myself or something," she mumbles._

_"Do you still feel like that?" Puck asks, and Quinn sighs. She doesn't feel like that anymore, but she can't explain why. Only she and Santana know the answer to that._

_"No," she states simply and Puck searches her face, as though looking for any signs of lying. Eventually, he nods; satisfied._

_"Good. You're more than your mistakes, Quinn. Don't let them hold you back," Noah softly states. "From what Santana has told me, you're making a huge effort, that is what's important. You keep making an effort, and I'll have your back. Hell, even if you stop making an effort I'm gonna be there," he says gruffly._

_"Thank you. I'm sorry" Puck gazes at Quinn for a moment before nodding and holding his arms out for Beth. _

_"Come on, Beth, we can go way faster than Quinn," he animatedly says. "Quinn sucks on the swing, doesn't she?" Quinn smiles softly and glances across at Santana, Santana waving at her and smiling warmly. She raises her hand and waves back, not missing the fact that Santana's smile widens at this, and turns her attention back to Puck and Beth. He may not have said so, but Quinn knows Noah Puckerman well enough to know that he has forgiven her._

0-00-0

Quinn squirms as Santana pokes her in the ribs, attemping, and failing miserably, to roll away from her wife. Santana grins victoriously when Quinn gets tangled in their bedsheets, leaning over her and pressing a scorching kiss to Quinn's lips. Santana can taste herself on her wife's tongue and she grins into the kiss, thank god they told Puck to go stay with Mike and Tina tonight.

"I didn't know you had that in you," Santana breathes out, her mouth latching onto Quinn's ear and her teeth scraping against the sensitive skin.

"I could say the same to you," Quinn smirks, her back arching as Santana's talented mouth trails down to her breasts, full lips wrapping around an erect nipple. "Don't you have to work?" Quinn asks.

"Nope," Santana smiles, "I told them you were sick and I had to take care of you," she explains, rolling off of Quinn and laying on her side, propping herself up with her elbow.

"Naughty," Quinn remarks with a raised brow, chuckling when Santana shrugs cockily. "What exactly is wrong with me?" she questions as Santana's fingers dance across her stomach, teasingly dropping lower for a second before dancing back up to Quinn's abs.

"I told them it was coming out of both ends," Santana shrugs.

"You didn't!" Quinn cries out, reaching forward and slapping her wife's bare ass. She freezes as soon as she does so, staring at Santana warily. Quinn is surprised to see that Santana looks even more turned on, the only reason she isn't jumping Quinn right this second is the sheer anxiety on Quinn's face.

"What is it, babe?" Santana questions, cocking her head to the side and gazing curiously at her wife.

"That was...weird...I've never thought of doing _that_ for fun," Quinn murmurs, her eyes flitting around the room, looking everywhere but at Santana.

"Does it matter?" Santana asks bluntly, shocking Quinn. "I thought it was hot," she shrugs. "It was just a slap on the ass, Quinn, " Santana murmurs softly, crawling over to Quinn and placing her hand on Quinn's hip.

"I'm sorry, I'm just being dumb," Quinn attempts to laugh it off, "I got a little confused..no big deal," she states with a weak laugh.

"Talk to me," Santana urges gently.

"When you...when you spank me, it's never fun or enjoyable," Quinn whispers shyly, "for either of us, right?" Santana hums her agreement and patiently waits for Quinn to continue. "But that...well, it kinda was."

"Quinn, when I spank you it's for punishment," Santana states seriously. "That slap on the ass was just playing around...there's a difference between play and punishment. So what if it turned you on...it turned me on too," Santana shrugs. "It doesn't turn me on when you're over my lap."

"Me neither," Quinn says honestly.

"So...what's the problem?" Santana asks lightly. "As long as we're always able to seperate punishment and playing around, it's not a big deal."

"It's different, though," Quinn whispers.

"How?"

"Well, I don't spank you," Quinn explains.

"You just did," Santana jokes, keeping the mood light. She holds her hands up in apology when Quinn huffs. "I know what you're saying, babe. I spank you for punishment, and you just spanked me for fun. Quinn, you could take, like, twenty different implements to my ass if you wanted to...just for fun...it's not gonna change how we feel about the punishments," Santana swears to her wife.

"You're right," Quinn sighs, shaking her head at herself, "I'm sorry I just..."

"Why are you apologising? For talking to me about your feelings? Oh, that's so awful, I don't think our marriage will survive...honesty!" Santana gasps dramatically, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Don't be mean," Quinn scolds, slapping Santana's ass again and smiling shyly at her. Santana grins at her and wiggles her eyebrows before lurching forward, landing on top of Quinn, their naked breasts pressing against each other. Santana smirks, slowly sliding down her wife's body and disappearing beneath the sheets with a cocky smile.

"Let me make it up to you."

_Santana curls herself around Quinn's body from behind, spooning the softly crying blonde while murmuring loving, and calming, words into her ear. Santana also feels like crying. Just watching Quinn say goodbye to Olivia had been hard enough, she can't imagine how hard it was for Quinn. Santana had seen it as soon as Shelby had driven away with Beth, the anguish in the hazel eyes of the woman she loves. For a split second, Santana had been convinced that Quinn would run...run and do something stupid, and, in that split second, Santana had been sure that her heart had stopped._

_"Stop feeling so guilty," Quinn sniffles._

_"What?"_

_"I know you were worried that I'd do something to hurt myself," Quinn whispers. "Stop feeling guilty, because I thought I was going too, too."_

_"You did?" Santana asks sadly._

_"Yeah, but then I told myself I wouldn't..I made myself think about everything that's good in my life," Quinn murmurs. "I reminded myself of everything I love..everyone I love, and what it does to them when I hurt myself. I'm sorry."_

_"Don't apologise for how you feel, Quinn," Santana gently chastises her. "Thank you for being honest with me, you have no idea how much I appreciate that. That's all I ever ask.. that you're honest with me about you're feeling because that's the only way I can help you."_

_"Can we leave?" Quinn asks in a small voice. "After graduation, I mean. Can we go somewhere, anywhere that isn't Lima?"_

_"I think that would be a great idea," Santana smiles._

_"Good," Quinn nods. They fall back into silence, Santana holding Quinn as she processes everything that has happened today. Santana's fingers firmly hook into the flesh of Quinn's hip, not painfully or suggestively...just reminding her that she's there. "Do you think that, maybe, you could come with me to therapy sometime?" Quinn breaks their peaceful silence with a timid voice. "My therapist thinks it'd be a good idea to bring someone I trust with me for one session."_

_"Of course! You just tell me when, and I'll be there," Santana promises. Santana feels Quinn stiffen for a second, and feels her heavy sigh. "You can speak to me about anything, Quinn."_

_"Shelby will look after her, right?" Quinn asks in a whisper._

_"Yeah," Santana responds immediately, "I don't doubt it for a second." She feels Quinn nod and let out a sigh of relief._

_"I did the right thing," Quinn murmurs._

_"I think so, too," Santana replies gently._

_"Good." Neither of them break the silence again, both of them content just to lie there together. Both dressed in pajamas and snuggled under Santana's duvet, and Quinn thinks this has been the most special night she has shared with Santana. They hadn't done anything apart from spoon and talk, but it's a night that will always stick in Quinn's memory, Santana's too. Quinn's safe place is with Santana. There are no judgements, no grudges; just love, and endless support. With Santana, she's safe. To Santana, she is perfect._

_**To be continued.. Feedback would be greatly appreciated.**_


	36. Chapter 36

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, It all belongs to RIB and Fox. Any characters you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Thank you to those who have left reviews, your feedback is appreciated.**_

_**R&R please. Flashbacks are in italics.**_

Chapter 36

Santana smiles as she meets Quinn's gaze from across the living room, Quinn shooting her a wink. She's glad she did this, throwing a party to celebrate Quinn's new job is the perfect way for them both to unwind before the hectic Christmas season starts. It also gives Quinn a huge boost. After spending a long time feeling useless, no matter what Santana said to her, about not having a job; a party being thrown in her honour has put a smile on Quinn's face. A smile that hadn't faltered in the last few hours. Yeah, Santana is really, really glad she did this, especially because Quinn had already told her that she plans to show Santana just how much she appreciates this as soon as they're alone. Of course, that's not why Santana did it; it's just a very pleasant bonus.

"Where's uncle Noah?" Santana turns to look at Aaron, the boy pretty much a miniature Mike, and ruffles his hair playfully.

"He should be here soon, little man," Santana tells him, "his girlfriend is flying here tonight so he needs to pick her up first," she explains, noticing that he sighs and his shoulders slump. "Am I not good enough for you anymore?" she asks teasingly.

"You're plenty good enough," Aaron instantly responds, "but uncle Noah helped me make aunt Quinn a present, he's bringing it with him," he adds, slumping down next to Santana and gazing at her beer.

"You made aunt Quinn a present? That's really cool of you, buddy, I bet she loves it," Santana smiles.

"I worked real hard on it," Aaron states seriously. "Can I have some of that?"

"My beer? Definitely not," Santana shakes her head, "your mom and dad would kick my butt."

"That's right, we would." Santana smirks as Aaron stares guiltily up at his father, who had seemingly appeared out of thin air. "There is soda in the kitchen, ask your mom to help you reach it," Mike states, shaking his head in amusement as his son huffs and goes in search of Tina. Mike sits down next to Santana with his own beer, smirking at the woman.

"What?"

"Poor little guy, he truly thought that aunt Santana was as badass and cool as she claimed to be but now he knows that she won't do anything that would upset Tina. He must be devastated to know that you're scared of Tina," Mike grins.

"I am not scared of Tina! If I have kids I won't give them beer while they're still, like, half my height. Why would I do it to another person's kid?" Santana defends herself. "Did you come over here just to irritate me?" she huffs.

"No," Mike sighs, his features suddenly sobering. "I actually have to tell you something... about Puck's girlfriend," he murmurs. "He didn't know how to tell you, and I guess his genius plan is just to surprise you when he walks through the door with her." Santana can tell by the tone of Mike's voice that he's not exactly happy with Noah. "It's Brittany," Mike eventually says lowly. "I don't know how long they've been back in touch for, but I think they're pretty serious." Santana's eyebrows rise in surprise and she takes a deep drink of her beer, contemplating his revelation. "He wasn't trying to lie to you, he just...well, you gotta admit that it's not an easy thing for him to tell you."

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting that," Santana murmurs, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth. "Does Quinn know?"

"Yes, Tina told her a little while ago. She seems okay about Brittany coming here. I guess she and Brittany got over their issues more than we thought," Mike shrugs. "I thought I should warn you."

"Thanks," Santana murmurs. "I'm right to be shocked, right?"

"Well, yeah. I was pretty shocked," Mike nods. "What is it with our high school, did they put love potions in the water or something?"

"Love potions?" Santana questions, a mocking grin on her face.

"Whatever," Mike rolls his eyes. "Excuse me while I go drink all of your expensive beer," he adds, smiling smugly as he stands up and heads to the kitchen.

"Asshole!"

0-00-0

_Quinn sighs heavily as she slumps down into one of the seats in the library of Mckinley, massaging her temple with the tips of her fingers in an attempt to stave off the headache that had been blossoming for the last hour. She can't wait until all of these exams are over, they're slowly driving her insane. As well as the exams, she has to prepare for nationals, which means Rachel has gone well passed insane and is currently acting like a psychotic midget on crack. Doesn't she realise that it's not just about her?! She and Santana had talked the night before about putting the list of rules away for a little while, both of them agreeing that she is doing really well right now. There's no need for the rules to be in place right now, and this morning Quinn had enjoyed her first glorious cup of coffee in months. It's lucky that she did, because Quinn is pretty sure that she would not be awake right now if it weren't for the caffeine boost. Sure, the rules state that she could have one each day, only on days when they had school, but she could never function on just one so Quinn had never seen the point in drinking any if she couldn't have her regular amount._

_"Hey, would you..uh..would you mind if I sat here?" Quinn looks up to see Brittany awkwardly hovering beside her._

_"Of course not, have a seat," Quinn states with a nervous smile._

_"Thanks," Brittany murmurs, sitting down with her books and folders with a relieved sigh. She looks as exhausted as Quinn feels. It's awkward between them, they haven't spoken since the night Brittany convinced Quinn to hand Beth over and to stop her crazy plan. Even that interaction had still been better than their previous one. "So...how have you been?" Brittany questions lamely, inwardly cursing herself. It shouldn't be this hard to talk to Quinn, they've known each other since first grade._

_"Good...much better," Quinn mumbles. "You?"_

_"Yeah, I've been good," Brittany replies, nodding and rubbing the back of her neck. "Good," she repeats._

_"Good, that's...good." Quinn sighs and rolls her eyes._

_"This shouldn't be so hard," Brittany states softly. "We've been friends forever, it shouldn't be so weird between us. I really wish we could go back to how things were."_

_"Well, the only reason we're having an issues is because of what you said that night at the party. You have a problem with me, not the other way around, Brittany," Quinn tells her seriously. "Or perhaps not a problem with me, but you definitely have a problem with my relationship with Santana."_

_"It's hard," Brittany murmurs. "I may not love her in that way anymore, but I still care about her. I didn't want her to get hurt."_

_"You thought I would hurt her?" Quinn asks softly, cocking her head to the side and studying Brittany curiously._

_"Not directly," Brittany states, "Santana loves hard," she notes, "and when she feels that way about someone, she protects them. When you and Santana got together, you were in a bad place. Santana hurts when people that she loves hurt. In a way, you were hurting her," Brittany explains. "It wasn't fair of me to react the way I did, I didn't, and still don't, understand how you were feeling. I'm sorry," she murmurs. "I love you both, I do, I guess I was a little jealous, too."_

_"Jealous? Why? You said you didn't love Santana in that way," Quinn states in confusion._

_"I didn't, I don't. I was being selfish. Even though I didn't want to be with Santana, it was hard to see her with someone else. To see her loving someone else and looking out for them in the way she used to look out for me," Brittany informs her. "I've been the world's worst friend recently. In the year that you really needed people around you, I abandoned you. I truly am very sorry."_

_"I know you are," Quinn nods, "and it's okay. I forgive you. I'm sorry, too. Smashing up the kitchen probably wasn't the best way to respond to what you were saying."_

_"Probably not," Brittany smiles. "I know Santana's mad at me, and I know she will be for a long time. That's how she is, I made you believe you weren't good enough, I'm mad at me, too."_

_"I already believed that, you just confirmed, I guess," Quinn murmurs, staring down at her books. _

_"You are," Brittany states quietly, "good enough, I mean. You guys are clearly perfect for each other, I see the looks between you. She sang to you in front of the entire glee club, that says it all. She wouldn't do that to just anyone," Brittany says softly. "We're graduating soon, and I know Santana and I never gonna be friends again. At least not like we used to be. Neither are you and I, and I know that's my fault but I couldn't let us all graduate and go our seperate ways without apologising."_

_"I understand that," Quinn states lowly, nodding. "Are you and Artie gonna be okay? It must be hard thinking about college when you know he's not graduating until next year."_

_"We're going to try," Brittany mumbles. "We know it's going to be hard but it's just a year and if it's meant to be, we'll make it." Quinn nods, unsure of what to say, they aren't exactly close anymore..she doesn't actually know very much about Brittany and Artie's relationship. "Anyway, I just wanted to try and clear a little bit, I have a math test in twenty minutes so I better go. Thanks for letting me explain."_

_"It's okay," Quinn smiles, "good luck!"_

Quinn makes her way to the front door of the apartment when she hears the loud knock after noticing that Santana is in the middle of a conversation with Tina. She frowns in confusion when she opens the apartment door to find Puck and Brittany standing in the hallway.

"Since when do you knock?" she asks with a scoff, accepting the hug and kiss on the cheek he gives her.

"Since I have a date with me, I'm..uh..sure you remember Brittany," Puck awkwardly states, eyeing Quinn warily.

"Mike and Tina told us," Quinn retorts with a roll of her hazel eyes. "Hey, Brittany, it's great to see you again," she smiles, pulling Brittany into a quick hug. Brittany smiles nervously and thrusts a bottle of wine into Quinn's hands.

"You, too," Brittany says. "You look good, congratulations on your new job."

"Thank you," Quinn beams, ushering Puck and Brittany into the apartment and catching Santana's eye, her wife hesitantly crossing the room to join them. Quinn recognises Santana's smile as the smile she uses for irritating patients that hold her back at the end of a shift; forced.

"Hey guys, I'm glad you could make it," Santana states politely...too politely. They make pointless small talk, and Quinn notices that Santana is uncomfortable around Brittany, it being obvious when Santana visibly relaxes once Brittany excuses herself to the bathroom.

"Be a man for once, Puckerman," Santana murmurs with a sigh, "I'd rather you told me things rather than allowing Chang squared to do it for you." Puck nods with a grimace, watching warily as Santana walks off to go grab another beer.

"I thought you guys had worked things out with Brittany," Puck states softly.

"Santana never did. Brittany and I were on good terms when we graduated, though," Quinn explains. "She's not mad, she just doesn't know how to act around Brittany, you know Santana well enough to know that," Quinn reminds him. "High school was a long time ago, we've all changed and grown up but being out of touch for nine and a half years after ending on bad terms still has an effect on people."

"You're right," Puck sighs, "I'll go talk to her."

"Not tonight," Quinn states firmly, Puck relenting and nodding.

"I'm really proud of you, you know," Puck murmurs, "and I'm happy for you. You're gonna kick ass at this new job."

"I hope so because it's the same job I've been doing for a couple of years," Quinn chuckles, "just a different environment. But, thank you," she says sincerely. "Are you happy with Brittany?" she asks softly.

"Yeah," Noah replies with a small smile, "very happy. She's amazing."

"Then I'm happy for you," Quinn states. "Now, go get yourself and your girl a drink. Aaron has been waiting for you, he says he has some serious business to discuss with you," she chuckles, squeezing his forearm as she brushes passed him and follows in the direction her wife had gone. She finds Santana in the kitchen and she waits until Puck sorts a drink for him and Brittany and leaves again before approacing her, placing her hands on Santana's hips. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good, babe," Santana states with a gentle smile, "I'm really good. It was just a surprise to find out that Noah is dating Brittany. I know it was a long time ago but... I don't know, I guess I've always been mad at her."

"That's understandable, honey," Quinn murmurs. "She's in town for a couple of days, you should talk to her before she flies home. We're all adults now."

"I know," Santana smiles, leaning forward and placing a tender kiss to her wife's lips. "I'll talk to her, I promise. Are you enjoying your party?"

"I am. Very much so. Thank you for planning it," Quinn replies with a smile, one that lights her eyes up.

"You're welcome, my love. Wine?"

"In a minute," Quinn smirks, capturing Santana's lips with her own and kissing her deeply, her hands snaking around Santana's waist and lowering down to her ass. She slaps it sharply, grinning into the kiss when Santana moans.

"EW! That's so gross." They jump apart when they hear Aaron's voice, "mommy and daddy kiss all the time, too," he states.

"It's not gross, little man. Trust me, you'll understand when you're older," Santana grins.

"Nuh uh! I'm never gonna kiss anyone like that," Aaron frowns, wrinkling his nose. He pulls a sheet of paper from behind his back and holds it out for Quinn, grinning when she takes it. Quinn smiles down at the picture, it's a drawing of her and Aaron at the park.

"To aunty Quinn, well done for getting a new job. Lot's of love, Aaron," Quinn reads out. "Aw, Aaron, this is awesome. Thank you, buddy, I'm gonna put this on the fridge!" Quinn beams, leaning down and kissing his cheek, the boy smiling shyly and not bothering to wipe his face like he usually does when someone kisses him.

"You're welcome," he chirps, groaning when Santana kisses Santana's cheek. "Grown ups are so gross," he grumbles, rushing back out of the kitchen. Quinn smiles down at the drawing and moves across to the fridge, using one of the magnets to keep it in place on the door.

"That kid is just too adorable," Santana notes, "he's not a bad little artist either."

"Totally," Quinn nods, turning around and wrapping her arms around Santana. She tips her head and kisses her wife sweetly, gazing at her with a gentle smile. "Our fridge looks good with a kid's artwork on it."

_**To be continued...one more chapter and an epilogue to go! Please review!**_


	37. Chapter 37

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, It all belongs to RIB and Fox. Any characters you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Only the epilogue to go after this chapter! Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story and reviewed along the way. This story means a lot to me so I appreciate everyone who has supported it. Thank you.**_

_**Flashbacks are in italics.**_

_**R&R please.**_

Chapter 37

Santana scowls as Quinn tugs on her hand, pulling her into the bar. She really doesn't want to do this. Santana looks around the, almost empty, bar and allows herself to be led across to a booth in the corner. Quinn shoots her a reproving look while urging her to sit down.

"I'll get our drinks," Quinn murmurs, walking away with a sigh when her wife merely nods. Santana warily watches the door of the bar, hoping that Quinn is back with their drinks before Puck and Brittany arrive. Puck had called Quinn last night and organised a night out to help put some old issues to rest. Only problem is, Santana has no interest in becoming friends with Brittany again. Quinn had begged her to come, which is the only reason Santana is here, but it doesn't mean she has to be happy about it. Sure, it was back in high school that it all happened, she's changed and she knows Brittany has as well. Puck wouldn't her brought her here otherwise. It's just...Brittany did something bad, the one thing that Santana believes to be unforgivable. She hurt Quinn. There are several nights from high school that Santana can remember vividly, as though it had only been yesterday. The night when she had walked in on Quinn cutting herself after Brittany had laid into her is one of the clearest. Brittany had been vile to Quinn that night, and Quinn had taken everything Brittany had said to heart. Even now, almost a decade later, thinking about it still causes Santana's blood to boil. "Here." Santana looks up as Quinn places a bottle of corona in front of her before sliding into the booth beside her.

"Thanks, babe," Santana murmurs, instantly grabbing the bottle and taking a long sip.

"We're not teenagers anymore, San," Quinn states softly, her hand on Santana's knee.

"I'm aware of that," her wife remarks dryly, taking another long gulp of beer.

"Brittany apologised to me back then, and she's not the same person anymore. We're all adults now, high school was a long time ago," Quinn says. "I know a lot went down back then, and it made you protective. And I know that history kinda repeating itself recently just brought all that back but, it's different, honey." Santana sighs and forces herself not to argue. She knows her wife has a point. "Puck wouldn't be bringing her here if he thought she was cause trouble. He wouldn't have brought her to our home. Brittany was the one who stopped me from leaving with Beth," Quinn sighs.

"What? How? I mean, I knew she and Rachel found you first but I just assumed...I dunno...Brittany helped you?" Santana's brow furrows in confusion and she impatiently gazes at Quinn, waiting for her wife to give her answers.

"She mentioned you...reminded me of what it would do to you. She calmed me down, and made me see sense. I was blinded by the insane notion that if I left with Beth, it'd be okay. That all I needed to do was get out of Lima with her," Quinn murmurs, shaking her head in disbelief at herself. "She kinda helped me realise what I was doing and what I was leaving behind. Sure, she's said a lot of things that hurt me...hurt us, but she apologised and we made our peace. Brittany and I graduated on good terms. I know you and she didn't, but we're not eighteen anymore."

"It was the scariest time of my life. The night she said all those things to you, and about you, the night I found you hurting yourself in the bathroom...the night that kinda set up for everything else, I was terrified. I feel like if that night hadn't happened, then you wouldn't have spiralled down and did things that you shouldn't have," Santana pauses and swallows heavily. "And I wouldn't have made you feel awful enough to...to try and take your life," she whispers, her voice thick with emotion.

"Sweetheart, that wasn't your fault. You know that, I know that you know that," Quinn tells her passionately, reaching out and taking Santana's hand into both of hers. "I was in a dark place, Santana. Even before I moved in with you, I was in dark, bad place. That's why you wanted me to stay in the first place. Everything I did to myself...I think it would have still happened...that's how I felt. Except..." Quinn sighs, "I would have been by myself when I did it. I wouldn't be here today, and I am very glad that I am. You made me believe that would get better...that I would get better and then you helped me make that come true. You didn't do anything wrong, you saved me."

"You saved yourself," Santana murmurs. "You did it, you saved yourself."

"With your help," Quinn states seriously. "I couldn't have done it by myself. Please, just let Brittany say her piece, and just try and have a nice time tonight. For me? For Noah?" Santana sighs heavily and stares down at the table for a moment before finally nodding.

"Okay, I'll play nice."

"Thank you."

_Santana sighs as she slumps down on the first chair that she reaches in the choir room, her hand shaking nervously as she tightly grips the envelope that her mother had just dropped off for her. She hadn't been able to find Quinn, but her mom had promised to find her and give her the letter that had also arrived for her. NYU had finally sent out a response to their applications. They had both been accepted to other colleges as well but NYU is their dream. They want to go off to college together, to start the rest of their lives in the city of their dreams. Santana's knee bounces frantically as she waits for Quinn, knowing that her girlfriend would know to come here. They had talked about this moment many times. Santana had even allowed herself to think about how they would celebrate. Both of them not getting accepted just isn't an option for her. They want this...they need this. A smile spreads across her face as the choir room door opens, it falling when she sees that it's Noah._

_"Not who you wanted it to be, huh?" Noah remarks quietly, crossing the choir room and slumping down next to her._

_"Sorry, I thought you were Quinn," Santana mururs, "our letters came," she adds, brandishing the envelope. "Did you get any letters today?"_

_"Yeah," Puck nods, a soft grin pulling at his lips. "I got into San Francisco state."_

_"Noah, that's amazing!" Santana grins, "that's totally awesome. Congratulations." Santana leans forward and pulls him into a quick, but meaningful hug._

_"Thanks. I've never seen my mom look so happy," he chuckles. "She didn't even mind that I ditched first period to wait for the letter to arrive. A couple of months ago I didn't even think I was gonna graduate. Everyone looks so surprised that Brittany and I both did."_

_"I always knew you both would," Santana states gently. Despite how furious she still is with Brittany, she still feels an odd sense of pride that Brittany had pulled her grades up. She's happy for her._

_"Just like I know that you and Quinn will be heading off to New York at the end of the summer," Puck says sincerely. "They would be fools to not have you guys at their school."_

_"Yeah, they would be," Santana cockily agrees with a smirk. "I just hope they realised that."_

_"They did," Noah tells her with a confidence that Santana doesn't quite feel herself. They both look up when the choir room door opens again, Santana smiling as Quinn nervously slips into the room. "Call me later," Puck mutters, leaning forward and quickly pecking Santana's cheek, a look of embarrassment on his face as he does the same to Quinn and all but runs from the room._

_"Dork," Santana mutters with a roll of her dark eyes. Her gaze settles on Quinn, and she smiles. "Hi."_

_"Hi." Quinn lets out a shaky breath and sits down in Puck's vacated seat, shifting around to face her girlfriend with her letter clutched tightly in her hands. She feels herself calm slightly when Santana presses a chaste, reassuring kiss to her lips. "You ready?"_

_"Yeah. Are you?"_

_"Yeah. Same time...after three," Quinn states nervously._

_"Alright, one..two..three.." Santana rips the corner of the envelope and runs her finger underneath. Carefully, she pulls the several sheets of paper out, her hands shaking. Santana watches Quinn out of the corner of her eye for a second before scanning the first sheet of paper. Her breath hitches and an ecstatic smile tugs at her lip. She did it. She was accepted. "Oh my god," she breathes. "I got in, Quinn, I got in!" Santana exclaims, spinning around to face her girlfriend, her grin fading as she studies Quinn's sober features. "Babe?" Santana frowns as Quinn looks up at her, her hazel eyes filled with tears._

_"I got in," Quinn whispers._

_"What?"_

_"I got in," she repeats. "I actually did it." Santana launches herself forward and wraps her arms around Quinn._

_"Oh god, you scared me!" Santana exclaims. "I'm so proud of you, babe. So, so proud of you!"_

_"We did it," Quinn laughs. "This is actually happening...we did it."_

_"Yeah, baby girl, we did it," Santana grins, pulling back and placing a searing kiss to Quinn's lips, kissing her deeply and passionately. "We're going to New York!"_

0-00-0

Santana stifles a sigh as she gulps her beer, avoiding looking in Brittany's direction. She can feel Brittany's eyes on her, knowing that the other woman is desperate for her to speak to her, to offer forgiveness. Nope. Not happening. Santana promised she'd make an effort and be civil and, by responding politely any time she is spoken to, she's doing that. She hasn't missed the looks that both Puck and Quinn have been shooting her, urging her to talk to Brittany. Santana just can't bring herself to do it, though. What would they even talk about anyway? It's not like they have anything in common anymore, and they haven't been friends for almost ten years.

"Can you let me out please, babe?" Santana mutters, "I have to pee." Quinn nods and stands up, allowing Santana to slide out of the booth and watching with a sigh as she quickly heads to the ladies room.

"She still hates me," Brittany murmurs.

"She doesn't hate you, babe," Puck sighs, "she's just...mad."

"It'll take some time," Quinn softly tells her. "Until the party, she hadn't seen you in almost ten years, and the last time you talked..."

"It didn't exactly go well," Brittany supplies quietly, Quinn nodding with a wince. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"You already apologised," Quinn shrugs. "We sorted it out before graduation."

"I know...I just..."

"Babe," Puck interrupts. "Q wouldn't be here if she didn't forgive you. We're all grown up now, things are different. Relax."

"I guess," Brittany sighs. "I'm gonna go get another drink, does anyone want anything?" Brittany heads up to the bar after making a mental note of Quinn and Puck's drinks, leaning heavily against the bar as she waits for the barmaid to finish up with another customer. She places her order, adding on a beer for Santana, and glances back at their booth; Santana isn't back yet. She wishes she could take it all back, that she could go back in time and not say all those things to Quinn. It wasn't worth losing her best friend over. Brittany rolls her eyes when the person next to her at the bar accidentally nudges her elbow, and she slides across a few inches to gain some space.

"Oh. Hey." Brittany turns when she hears Santana's voice, her face falling as she watches the other woman awkwardly avoid eye contact with her. "I'll..er..I'll get these," Santana mutters, digging into her pocket to find her wallet.

"No, it's fine," Brittany waves her off, "it's our turn to buy a round."

"Okay..thanks, I guess," Santana mumbles, desperate to go back to the booth but not wanting to be seen as a total ass for not helping Brittany with their drinks. Santana is glad when her and Puck's beers are placed on the bar first and she grabs them, ready to turn and head back to the table with them. There, she's helping. That's nice of her.

"San..?"

"Yeah?" Santana clenches her jaw and forces herself to look at Brittany, knowing exactly what Brittany is going to say.

"I was an idiot, I was so, so stupid," Brittany states with a shake of her head. Santana wasn't expecting that.

"Don't call yourself that," Santana replies, more out of habit. "You're not stupid, or an idiot. You acted like one, but you're not one."

"Okay, I acted stupid," Brittany amends. "I'm sorry, Santana. I truly, truly am. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. I'm not the same person anymore..and...I miss you. We were best friends," Brittany explains softly.

"You were wrong about Quinn," Santana says seriously.

"I was," Brittany nods in agreement. "You guys seem really happy together, you've both done everything you wanted to. I mean, you're a doctor and Quinn's a lawyer. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you guys made that happen."

"No, you shouldn't," Santana murmurs, a ghost of a cocky smirk playing on her full lips. "Look, I'm not saying we'll get back to how we were but I'll make an effort for Noah's sake. I trust his judgement, and I, well..I miss you as well."

"Thank you," Brittany whispers. "I really care about Noah, and I know that he's kinda like a big brother to you...I know you don't trust me but..."

"We'll work towards it," Santana interrupts with a tentative smile. "Thanks for the beer," she adds, shooting Brittany a small smile before leading the way back to their booth, not missing the proud expression on Quinn's face as she approaches her.

_Quinn knows that she will count today as one of her favourite, most special days in her life. A day she will never forget. Walking across the stage at graduation to receive her diploma while Santana's parents and other family members, including Sofia, got to their feet and cheered for her felt amazing. Seeing Santana watching her from the side of the stage with a proud, beaming smile felt even better. When senior year began, Quinn didn't think she would even still be around, nevermind graduating and heading off to New York with Santana. She also never thought that she would ever class Santana Lopez as the love of her life, yet she does._

_"All set?" Quinn turns to face Santana as she pokes her head into the doorway of the girls' bathroom, a gentle smile on her lips._

_"Yeah," Quinn nods, "I was just fixing my make up," she adds in an attempt to explain why she had been standing in front of the mirrors for the last five minutes._

_"You look beautiful," Santana tells her softly and sincerely, "just like you always do." Quinn blushes lightly as she steps forward and takes Santana's offered hand, allowing her girlfriend to lead her down the hallways of Mckinley one last time._

_"Can you believe this is actually happening?" Quinn quietly questions._

_"Actually, yeah, I can," Santana nods. "This I what I hoped would happen," she adds shyly. Santana leads Quinn out to the parking lot to her car, pulling the passenger side door open with an exaggerated bow._

_"You're such a dork," Quinn chuckles as she slides into her seat, shaking her head in amusement when Santana sticks her tongue out at her before walking around to her side of the car. "It's so weird that we won't be coming here anymore," she states as Santana slides into the car._

_"I know," Santana agrees with a wistful sigh. "So much has happened here. I hate to admit it, but I think I might miss this place."_

_"Yeah, me too."_

_"At least I don't need to miss you," Santana grins, leaning across the centre console and stealing a kiss from Quinn. Quinn smiles and blushes before returning the sentiment to her girlfriend. Quinn's hand unconsciously finds the small box that sits in the pocket of her jeans, her heart hammering nervously as they drive towards Breadstix where they are meeting Gloria and Mateo, and other members of the Lopez family. Later, they would be heading to Puck's post graduation party. When they reach Breadstix, the place is really crowded, filled with celebrating familes congratulating their freshly graduated children. Quinn notices Gloria first and she tugs on Santana's hand, pulling her through the loud restaurant towards their table. Both of them are bombarded with tight hugs and excited relatives, even a few relatives that Quinn hasn't met before. Usually, Breadstix is pretty quiet but all of the graduates and their familes seem to have taken it over, there's even a bunch of people dancing and milling around a makeshift dancefloor in the corner of the restaurant. Of course, Santana drags Quinn over to it after ordering their food. "I love you," Santana murmurs as she pulls her close, her arms looped around Quinn's waist._

_"I love you, too," Quinn immediately replies, a wide grin on her face as she leans forward and softly kisses Santana's full lips. They both smile as the opening chords of Eric Clapton's 'Wonderful tonight' sounds through the restaurant. The same song Santana had sung to her in the choir roomall those months ago. Their song. The box feels heavy in her pocket and Quinn suddenly feels nervous again, her breath hitching. _

_"You okay, babe?" Santana questions her softly, her eyes filling with concern._

_"Yeah, I'm just..uh, can we go outside for some air or something?" Quinn requests, preferring to be somewhere private._

_"Yeah, of course." Santana drops her arms from around Quinn's waist and takes her hand instead, leading her outside through the side door that the smokers used. She leads her across to the empty childrens' play area, sensing that Quinn wants them to be alone for a moment. Quinn sits down on one of the swings and motions for Santana to do the same, relaxing somewhat when Santana does so without questioning her strange behaviour._

_"I really love you, Santana," Quinn breathes out, "and these past several months have been both the scariest and most amazing months of my life. You saved me. I know I know, you think I saved myself but, truthfully, I wouldn't have been able to do it without you," Quinn explains quietly. She's grateful that Santana doesn't interrupt, she really needs to just say all of this; she's been so nervous about it. "You mean more to me than anything else in this world, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." She swallows dryly and pushes her hand into her pocket, grasping the box tightly but keeping it inside her pocket for a moment later. "I know this is sudden and I know we're only eighteen, but it doesn't have to happen straight away, we can wait..."_

_"Quinn..." Santana urges, an amused smirk on her lips._

_"I know, I'm rambling," Quinn chuckles. "I'm just nervous," she states truthfully. She stands up from the swing, "I want to do this properly," she adds before dropping down on one knee and pulling the box from her pocket. Quinn hears Santana's sharp intake of breath as she opens the box to reveal the engagement ring that she had saved up for. "Will you marry me?" Quinn asks softly, finally looking up into tear filled, brown eyes._

_"Yes," Santana whispers, "Yes," she repeats loudly. "Yes, I will definitely marry you," Santana grins as a few tears leak from her eyes. She holds out her left hand and Quinn shakily slips the ring on her finger._

_"I know it's not very big, but I'll get you a different one in the future..."_

_"Shut up, Quinn." Santana pulls Quinn to her feet before placing her hands on either side of Quinn's face and laying a scorching, lingering kiss on her lips. "It's perfect. I love it, and I love you. So, so much."_

_"I love you, too, Santana," Quinn smiles, allowing herself to be pulled into a warm, tight embrace. "I can't believe this is happening, I'm moving to New York to go to an amazing school with my amazing girlfriend...fiance," Quinn corrects herself with a wide grin. "This is perfect, today is just perfect._

_"The perfect start to our life together."_

Quinn rolls her eyes as she notices Santana holding something inside her jacket as they leave the bar, not feeling at all surprise when she pulls the half empty bottle of beer out as they walk along the street. Santana laces the fingers of her free hand through Quinn's as they walk along the street, using the other to sip her beer.

"You shouldn't be doing that," Quinn chastises lightly, her hazel eyes glinting with amusement.

"My wife is a lawyer," Santana shrugs, clearly more than a little buzzed. "Plus, it's pretty quiet out here, the only person who could snitch on me is you."

"That's true," Quinn chuckles. "Thank you for tonight, I know you weren't exactly thrilled with spending the night with Brittany.

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," Santana says before gulping down the rest of her beer and throwing the bottle into the nearest trash can. "I want a hot dog, do you want a hot dog?" she asks, wildly looking around for a hot dog stand, her eyes lighting up when she spots one.

"Santana Lopez, I do believe you're drunk," Quinn grins.

"Nuh uh, _you're_ drunk," Santana giggles childishly, dragging Quinn over to the hot dog stand and ordering two. Santana turns her slightly unfocused gaze back to Quinn as they wait for their food, not caring who can see as she leers at her wife. Quinn rolls her eyes, like hell is Santana coming near her with all those onions that she's ordering the guy to put on her hot dog. Well, maybe if she brushes her teeth. "For you, my lady," Santana smirks as she hands one to Quinn. "Here you go, hot dog guy," Santana declares as she hands over the money. They eat their hot dogs as they walk to their apartment, Santana exclaiming that they should race as soon as they enter the building.

"The elevator is already here, San," Quinn tells her, pulling Santana into it with her. At least she is no longer a weepy, hysterical drunk. That was never fun to deal with. Even if Santana did look adorable while sadly apologising to an empty candy wrapper that she had stepped on in the street that one time. Quinn all but drags Santana along the hall to their apartment when the doors open, laughing lightly when Santana starts complaining about her bra being uncomfortable. She always seems to forget, while drunk, that she doesn't need an excuse to take her clothes off around her wife. Quinn unlocks the door and nudges Santana inside, Santana immediately stripping her jacket and shirt off as she heads towards their bedroom. Shaking her head, Quinn locks the door again and places her jacket on the hook before heading into the kitchen to make some coffee. Santana comes back out of the bedroom, dressed only in her panties and baggy t'shirt, just as Quinn is placing the two mugs of coffee on the table in front of the sofa.

"Are you trying to sober me up?" Santana asks suspiciously, placing her bare feet up on the table.

"Maybe," Quinn grins, "mostly I'm just trying to keep you awake for a little longer," she adds, slumping down next to her.

"You wanna do it?" Santana cockily questions.

"So charming," Quinn scoffs, lightly slapping her wife's bare thigh.

"I can totally be charming," Santana whines, suddenly standing up and heading across to her ipod speakers. She puts on her favourite song...their song. Santana smiles smugly as she makes her way back to Quinn and sits down next to her. "See? Totally charming." Quinn chuckles and kisses her wife's temple. They sit quietly and listen as their song plays in the background, Quinn standing up halfway through it and holding her hand out to Santana.

"Dance with me?" Santana beams at her and takes Quinn's hand, allowing herself to be pulled to her feet. She leans into her wife's body and presses a soft kiss to her jawline.

"Always."

_**The epilogue will be up asap. Please review!**_


	38. Chapter 38

_**I do not own Glee or any of the original characters, It all belongs to RIB and Fox. Any characters you don't recognise are my own creations.**_

_**Finally, the epilogue is here. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story. It is very close to my heart and I'm a little sad that it is coming to an end. I've been putting this off for a long time and I must admit, I'm sad to see this one end.**_

_**I hope you all enjoy this last chapter.**_

_**R&R please.**_

**Epilogue **

As much as Santana wishes she hadn't been held up at work for an extra couple of hours, she's still pretty relieved that she worked through the rush hour traffic. Work had been complete hell and Santana is pretty sure that she'll never be able to look at a carrot in the same way ever again. She shudders, she really doesn't want to think about that again. Some people are fucking insane! Guiding the car out of the city, Santana switches the radio on and rolls her eyes when she hears Rachel Berry's voice float through the speakers. Not that she'd admit it, but Santana thinks it's pretty cool that someone she knows is on the radio, but the song has been way overplayed. She doesn't turn in off, though, because despite her extra long day, Santana is still in a great mood.

The chief of the ER had given her some good news today. She had gotten the promotion she had been yearning for. When Santana returns from her upcoming time off, she will be an attending. She's no longer going to be an overworked resident that is constantly handed grunt work from the attendings. Instead, she'll be an overworked attending who will be handing out grunt work to those below her. It's a good feeling, and Santana can't wait to tell Quinn. Things have been going so well for them recently, and this is just the icing on a very large, happy cake. Santana has worked her ass off and it is finally paying off, plus the extra income that her promotion brings will come in very handy.

Santana lets out a content sigh as she gets closer to home. They've been in their new house for just over a week, and Santana just loves driving there after a long day of work. They had loved their apartment in the city, and had enjoyed many great memories there, but it's nice to be in a house now. Three bedrooms, a proper sized kitchen, an actual garden...heaven. Santana didn't think she'd ever be the type of person that would live in the suburbs, which an actual white picket fence, but she loves it!

A soft smile graces her full lips as she steers the car into their street, their beautiful new home coming into view. Santana nods in greeting as she drives past one of their neighbours walking his dog, the man sending her a friendly wave. Pulling the car into the driveway, Santana shuts the engine off and carefully slides out of the car. She massages her sore lower back as she walks towards the door, smiling when she notices a light shining from her favourite room in the house.

"Honey, I'm home!" Santana jokingly yells out as she steps inside and closes the door behind her. She doesn't get a response so Santana heads upstairs and walks towards the room she knows Quinn is in. She finds her wife listening to her iPod and painting the walls of the room, the woman completely oblivious to Santana's presence. Santana, not wishing to scare her wife and get covered in paint, switches the light on and off again instead of touching Quinn.

"Oh!" Quinn whips around and snatches her earbuds out of her ears. "Hey, babe." Quinn carefully steps over the mass of painting materials she has laying around the room, and makes her way over to Santana.

"Hey," Santana grins, accepting the tender kiss her wife offers her.

"You really shouldn't be in here," Quinn gently chides, "the paint fumes are pretty strong." Quinn hooks her arm around Santana's waist and walks her to their bedroom. "How was work?" she asks as she sits on the edge of the bed, watching as Santana slowly strips herself from her scrubs. She frowns when Santana struggles, but Quinn knows better than to try and help her unless Santana specifically asks her to. She's not at all interested in having that blown out of proportion argument again.

"Well," Santana coyly begins as she slides into her sweatpants, "I found something out today."

"Oh yeah?" Quinn quirks a brow and waits until Santana has slipped on her oversized t'shirt and joins her on the bed.

"You're looking at county's new attending," Santana beams, looking extremely proud of herself.

"Oh my god, baby!" Quinn exclaims, "I'm so proud of you!" Quinn leans forward, cupping Santana's face in her hands as she kisses her wife on the lips. She then pulls Santana into a tight, but gentle, hug and kisses her temple several times. Santana chuckles, smiling brightly at the happy attention she is receiving. "When does it start?"

"Right after my maternity leave." Quinn grins at her and places her hand on Santana's round belly, her gaze soft and loving as she stares into Santana's eyes.

"So many good things are happening at once," Quinn murmurs. Santana shyly ducks her head, blushing underneath the intense, loving stare.

"I know," she whispers. "We deserve this." Quinn nods,

"we do," Quinn agrees. Santana smiles at her, it wasn't all that long ago that Quinn would be unable to admit that she deserved any kind of happiness. "And now," Quinn says, "we can fully enjoy our awesome life. I'm so glad you're officially on maternity leave now," she smiles. Santana nods,

"after today, I'm so relieved," Santana breathes out. "I was so tired, I just couldn't deal with how hectic it was." It's very rare for Santana to admit that her pregnancy is tiring, but Quinn is glad that she's the one that Santana will admit it to.

"Now you get to rest and be treated like a queen," Quinn states in a teasing tone. "My baby mama isn't gonna need to lift a finger. In fact, I'm gonna run you a bath and while you're relaxing, I'm going to finish painting the nursery. I'll call for some takeout, too."

"I'm pregnant, I'm not unable to do things for myself," Santana argues, but her voice lacks any real conviction. She really is not against being spoiled by her wife tonight.

"I know," Quinn nods, and she really does know. Santana's hormones and stubborn nature had sure made that fact known during these last eight and a half months. "I'd still like to take care of you anyway," Quinn gently states. "You know, for me." Quinn really wants to just spoil her wife tonight. Santana had worked so close to her due date just to ensure she had a lot of time with their newborn, and Quinn knows Santana is exhausted. Santana rolls her eyes,

"okay, I'll allow it," Santana says as she smirks, "for you."

0-00-0

"Gimme!" Santana stops in front of Puck and holds her arms out, an expectant expression on her features. Puck smirks, rolling his eyes as he carefully transfers his baby girl into Santana's arms. "Hey there, Amy," Santana coos. "Don't you worry, your awesome aunt Santana has you now." Santana turns away from Puck and settles onto the sofa with Amy, her bump making it a little awkward to hold the tiny girl as comfortably as she'd like to. "I swear she's even bigger than yesterday," Santana says to Puck as he sits down next to her.

"I know, right? She's gonna be big and strong, just like her daddy," Puck murmurs, gazing down at his baby girl. Santana grins, rolling her eyes.

"Are you banned from the kitchen, too?" Santana questions, not lifting her gaze from Amy.

"Yeah," Puck sighs, "I burnt something one time..." he trails off and shakes his head in disbelief.

"You had to be rescued by the fire department," Santana points out. "It's not like you just burned toast, or something."

"It's not my fault the oven was faulty!" Puck defends himself. He sighs, "whatever." He's spent the last eighteen months defending himself for that mishap, he's over it. "Why are you not allowed in there?"

"Quinn is being all protective, she wants me to rest," Santana shrugs. "It doesn't really bother me anymore, it's kinda cute." Puck smiles and sinks further into the sofa cushions. "It's not like I actually want to make a thanksgiving dinner for eight people anyway," Santana shrugs.

"God no!" Puck agrees. "Oh," he turns his head to look at Santana, "congrats on your promotion. I'm so happy for you guys, everything is totally working out for you." Santana grins,

"thanks, Puck," she murmurs. "We're in a really good place right now, becoming an attending is really just part of it."

"Well, you deserve it," Puck says in, what Santana assumes is supposed to be, a nonchalant manner. Santana nods her agreement. They'd come so far in these last couple of years. Quinn with her law career completely back on track, and Santana doing well at the hospital. Their relationship with each other, too, is in a great place. They haven't used the rules in a couple of years, and Santana helps Quinn with maintenance spankings once a month at Quinn's request. It helps Quinn to let everything out, and she hasn't been suffering from much stress because of that. Santana had been reluctant at first, but she does it because it helps Quinn, and she will continue to do so for as long as Quinn wants her to.

"Hello?" Santana glances out into the hall when she hears Mike's voice,

"living room!" she calls back to him, a grin spreading across her face when Aaron hurtles into the living room. The boy, who had been about to launch himself at his aunt Santana, skids to a halt. His mom had been reminding him for months that he has to be careful around Santana's belly, but hey - he's a kid, he's allowed to forget stuff sometimes.

"Sorry, aunt San," Aaron mumbles, looking a little ashamed of himself.

"Aw that's okay, buddy," Santana smiles, "you remembered," she winks at him. "Come on over here and gimme a kiss," she orders in a playful tone. Aaron beams at her and pushes himself in between Puck and Santana, kissing his aunt's cheek. "Happy thanksgiving."

"Happy thanksgiving, aunt San," Aaron grins, "and you, uncle Puck," the boy adds as an afterthought.

"Happy thanksgiving, dude. Where'd your mom and dad go?" Puck questions.

"Into the kitchen, daddy didn't want aunt San to see all of the beer he brought for himself," Aaron explains, clearly not caring that he had actually just told Santana about it, too. Puck chuckles,

"I'll uh...go help Mike put his beer in the fridge." Santana rolls her eyes, watching as Puck leaves the living room.

"He's gonna drink it," Aaron states the obvious, making Santana laugh. She nods,

"he sure is." Santana shakes her head at the antics of her friends. They may be her drinking buddies, but that doesn't mean they have to sneak around in her house if they want to drink while she can't. Santana has never commented on it, though. She actually finds it pretty entertaining. She looks down at the now sleeping baby in her arms, smiling when she notices that Aaron is watching her intently.

"She's really cute," Aaron states, his voice full of awe. "I bet your baby is cuter, though," he adds.

"Aaron," Santana chides him. She agrees with him, though. Her and Quinn's baby is gonna be the cutest baby to ever exist, and nobody will ever be able to tell her otherwise. Santana feels a little bad when she sees the embarrassed pout on Aaron's face, he had always seemed to take it pretty badly whenever Santana had needed to tell him off about anything. "Hey, you wanna come see the nursery, buddy?" Aaron's pout disappears and his eyes light up.

"Yeah!"

"Well, let's go," Santana grins. Santana slowly and carefully gets to her feet, the baby and her bump making it a little bit of a struggle. Aaron, adorably, holds on to his aunt's arm. He's not helping as much as he thinks he is, but Santana appreciates it all the same. "Thanks, little man." Aaron grins at her, blushing lightly when Santana shoots him a wink.

"Is the nursery finished?" Aaron asks as they climb the stairs.

"Yep! Aunt Q finished it a couple of days ago," Santana nods. "She's really proud of it, so make sure you tell her you like it," Santana tells him.

"I will," Aaron replies with a serious nod. He takes his aunt Santana's suggestions very seriously, at all times. Santana has no idea why this kid loves her so damn much, but she loves it all the same and the feeling is most definitely mutual. She leads the young boy into the nursery and smiles at the look of awe on his features.

"You like it?" Santana asks, gazing around at the light green nursery. Quinn had really outdone herself. The furniture, the toys, the colour...it's all perfect in Santana's eyes.

"Yeah, it's awesome!" Aaron exclaims, "aunt Q did this all by herself?" he asks in disbelief.

"She did," Santana nods. "She's pretty badass, huh?" Santana falters, "don't repeat that word," she quickly adds, cringing.

"I won't," Aaron sincerely promises. There's no way he'd get his beloved aunt Santana into trouble.

"Guys! The food's almost ready!" they hear Quinn calling upstairs.

"Come on, buddy," Santana jerks her head in the direction of the stairs, "we'd better get back down there. You can come back up to have a better look after dinner," Santana promises the frowning boy. "Come on," she softly urges him. Aaron sighs and his shoulders slump, but he follows his aunt out of the nursery all the same. Santana leads him into the dining room, playfully poking Mike in the back of the head as she passes him. "Enjoying your beer, Chang?" Santana enjoys the way her friend actually tries to hide the fact that he has alcohol. What. A. Dumbass. Santana hands Amy to Brittany and offers the other woman a genuine smile.

"You look great, Santana," Brittany tells her as she places her daughter into the carrier that is set next to the table. "You're glowing." Santana rolls her eyes good naturedly at the cliche. She doesn't deny that she looks great, though.

"Thanks, Britt," Santana smiles, sitting down next to Quinn. She's glad that they have been able to work things out, it'd been nice having Brittany back in her life again. Santana is much closer to Puck than she is to Brittany, but they are at least friends again.

"She's right you know," Quinn murmurs to Santana, her hand resting on Santana's knee. "You look beautiful." Santana blushes and sends her wife a stunning smile, "just like always." Santana's smile widens and she leans forward to press a soft kiss to Quinn's lips, loving the way Quinn's hand comes to rest on her bump. "Hurry up, little one," Quinn murmurs, lighting patting Santana's stomach.

"You're amazing. You know that, right?" Santana softly murmurs, only for Quinn's ears. Quinn smiles, nodding.

"I do know that, thanks to you," Quinn whispers, staring deeply into Santana's dark eyes. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

0-00-0

Santana lets out a content moan as she leans back against Quinn's chest, allowing the warm water to soothe her aching body. It seems that being on her feet, even for just a little while, is exhausting at this late stage of her pregnancy. Even just thinking about standing makes her swollen ankles hurt, and her back feels like someone has been continuously punching it. Closing her eyes, Santana leans further back into Quinn and allows herself to relax. She smiles when she feels Quinn's snake around her waist, her wife's hands resting on her round stomach.

"This is nice," Santana murmurs, sighing softly.

"It is," Quinn agrees. She places a kiss onto Santana's shoulder and gently massages her belly.

"It was nice hosting thanksgiving, but I'm so exhausted," Santana says. "I think the baby is a little frustrated with our long day, too. He's been kicking up a storm tonight."

"He?" Quinn quirks a brow.

"It's just a feeling," Santana shrugs lightly. "Puck bet Mike that it'd be a girl, so I wouldn't mind proving him wrong," she smirks. Quinn chuckles lightly,

"either way, our little one will prove someone wrong," Quinn jokes. "They'll be born with the same smug expression that their mama always has," she teasingly adds. Santana lightly slaps Quinn's arm, but smiles nonetheless. "They're gonna be perfect," Quinn whispers into Santana's ear.

"With us as parents, of course they are," Santana grins cockily. Quinn rolls her eyes, some things will never change.

"Oh!" Quinn exclaims, "I forgot to tell you, your mom called today," Quinn states. "She and your dad are coming here for Christmas, and I think Sofia is gonna tag along, too."

"They are?" Santana can't stop the smile that spreads across her face.

"Yeah, I offered to have them stay here," Quinn murmurs, "I hope that's okay. I know we'll have newborn and it'll be hectic, but they're family," Quinn shrugs.

"Yeah, that's definitely okay. It'll be nice to have them here," Santana states. "Free babysitting," she adds with a coy smile. Quinn chuckles, nodding in agreement.

"I'm sure Sofia will drag us into the city for a night out," Quinn comments. "I guarantee she'll end up moving to New York," she adds.

"Permanent free babysitting," Santana cheers softly, jokingly punching the air. They fall into a comfortable silence, both women just relaxing and enjoying the warm water. It's nice to just lazily lay in the tub after a long day. Santana moans contentedly as Quinn continues to massage her stomach, feeling as though her body is weightless underneath her wife's touch. Her eyelids grow heavy and she tips her head backwards, resting it against Quinn's shoulder.

"We should go to bed," Quinn murmurs. "As much as I'd love to, I don't think I'd be able to carry you, my love." Quinn's voice is low and soothing. Santana groans, but sits up and carefully scoots forward. Quinn smiles and kisses the top of Santana's head as she climbs out of the tub, wrapping a towel around her body as she gazes down at her wife. Santana pouts,

"I feel like a beached whale."

"Well, you don't look like one," Quinn comments. "There isn't even a tiny resemblance. You look stunning, I promise." The sincerity in Quinn's voice makes Santana duck her head, a slight blush coloring her cheeks. "In fact, if I didn't know how uncomfortable you were right now, I'd wish that you could be pregnant forever," Quinn tenderly murmurs. "That's how beautiful you look." Quinn leans down and captures Santana's lips in a soft, chaste kiss. "You ready?" Quinn takes a hold of both of Santana's hands, carefully helping her wife to step out of the tub.

"Thank you," Santana whispers as she is wrapped in a large, fluffy towel.

"It's just a towel," Quinn smiles.

"No," Santana says, catching Quinn's arm and placing the woman's hand on her rounded tummy. "Thank you," she whispers in a meaningful tone.

"I'm so looking forward to meeting our baby," Quinn softly states, her hand still resting on Santana's stomach. "I already love him or her so much." Santana smiles beautifully and wraps her arms around Quinn's waist, hugging her awkwardly.

"The little one doesn't like it when we hug," Santana notes. "My organs are taking a severe beating." Quinn chuckles lightly,

"they're just practicing being grossed out by us," Quinn jokes. "How's your back?" she questions, her voice taking on a more serious tone.

"Ugh, it feels like it's getting worse," Santana grumbles. "I thought a bath would help, but it hasn't helped at all." Quinn pouts sympathetically and playfully taps the tip of Santana's nose with her finger.

"All the more reason to get you into bed," Quinn states, her tone as far away from flirty as it can possibly get. Santana nods, her shoulders slumping. "Come on, baby," Quinn soothingly murmurs. She places her hand on Santana's lower back and leads her into their bedroom, thanking whichever deity that is listening for ensuring they had found a house with an en-suite. Quinn makes quick work of getting herself dried and dressed in some pajamas, before turning around to help Santana. Kneeling down, Quinn holds out a pair of underwear for Santana to step into. She knows that Santana could do it herself, but it's easier for Quinn to help her. Santana doesn't mind.

"I'm so tired," Santana mumbles, a pout tugging at her full lips.

"I know," Quinn soothingly responds. She grabs an over sized t'shirt, probably one of Puck's, and slips it over Santana's head, smiling at the disheveled head that appears through the neck hole. "You're so cute," Quinn grins as Santana finishes putting the shirt on.

"I don't feel it."

"Well, I totally think you are," Quinn reassures her. "Bed, missy," she says in a teasing tone.

"So strict," Santana smirks. "Our poor baby won't be able to get away with anything." Quinn smiles, rolling her eyes good naturedly. She helps Santana climb into bed and turns the light off, sliding into bed behind her.

"Oh please," Quinn scoffs, "you're so going to be the strict one," she states. "You're never gonna let that kid out of your sight! No matter how much you talk about free babysitting. Not to mention how much of a stickler you are about eating properly, and getting the right amount of sleep," Quinn continues to tease her.

"Well," Santana begins, a playful smirk on her lips, "I know for a fact that you've learned many lessons about the benefits of eating regular meals and sleeping properly." Quinn blushes when Santana reaches out to pat her backside.

"Yeah, yeah," Quinn mumbles, "well played."

"My point," Santana says, "is that you know how much of a difference if makes, so I know you'll be bugging our child about it just as much I do."

"What happens when the baby comes?" Quinn asks, and Santana frowns at how timid her wife sounds.

"What do you mean?"

"With the maintenance spankings," Quinn clarifies. Santana cranes her neck so as to look at Quinn, wishing the tiny human inside of her made it easier to move right now.

"Nothing will change, baby," Santana murmurs, "not unless you want it to. Isn't that why we chose to decorate the basement?"

"Yeah, I know...I just..." Quinn trails off, embarrassed.

"We'll always have time for that," Santana sincerely says. "I promise, Quinn. There's nothing wrong with you still needing a little help. You've done so well, and you've come so far," she passionately states. "You're really kicking ass, you know."

"I know," Quinn nods. "The maintenance spankings really help. They're different, but they help."

"Then we'll keep doing it," Santana tells her, "for as long as you need or want them. Sure, we're gonna have less time for ourselves once the little one arrives, but we'll make time. It helps you, and that makes them very important to me," Santana explains. "I know you worry about needing help, but it's normal. Everyone needs a little help, you just need it in a different way. It works for us." Quinn smiles,

"it does," she agrees.

"Don't worry about it, baby," Santana whispers, "please don't worry about it." Quinn shimmies closer to Santana,

"I can't guarantee that I won't worry about it, but I worry less when you're around," Quinn murmurs into Santana's ear, sweetly kissing her jawline.

"Then I guess you'll be worrying less for a long time," Santana remarks. "We're solid...you and I, we're solid."

"We are," Quinn nods. "Now get some rest, my baby needs it's mama to get some sleep. I love you." Quinn snuggles into Santana's back and places her hand on her bump.

"I love you, too," Santana murmurs back. Santana closes her eyes and sighs softly, she had been waiting all day to crawl back into bed. Sleep doesn't come so easily, though. Her back is aching, and it stops her from completely relaxing. She doesn't understand why it's hurting so much. It never hurt like this, even on her busiest of days. Santana's eyes snap open and she curses internally, berating herself for not realising sooner. She's a doctor for Christ sake, why hadn't she realised what this could mean.

"Relax," she hears Quinn sleepily murmur, "you need to try and relax. You need some sleep." Santana opens her mouth to respond, but she is stopped by the sudden wet feeling between her legs. Oh crap.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"My water just broke."

_**-FIN-**_

_**Thank you so much to everyone who has read this, especially to those that left a ton of feedback. This story means so much to me, and I hate that I've finally finished it.**_

_**I hope you enjoyed this story, and I would really appreciate your feedback! :)**_


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